ZIPPERSPARKS

Wednesday, June 18

Sunday, April 14

SAW THIS, HAD TO LAUGH

And cry, just a little.

For Marz. (Tried to make it as large as I could, but if you cannot read it check here. Or let me know and I will break it down into individual pages.)

Saturday, August 18

Hey Kitty

Hey there pretty kitty!

I know you’ve had a rough run recently.

You’ve been backed into a corner,

put under a microscope,

and driven crazy.

Even on the best day getting out of bed was a chore.

It seemed as though life would devour you whole.

It was enough to make you want to run and hide, hide, hide!

Troubles all around drove you to drink

(but made you want to worse).

And although at times it may have felt like you were just being dragged along against your will,

Forced to deal with people who seemed nothing like you

And meetings where you were the odd one out

You held your own, of that be sure!

Luckily, not everyone you met on this journey was a total freak.

Although some may have seemed like it

Your family reached out to show their love

And you made it through! So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

And remember, as strange as things may get:

You are not alone.

Sunday, May 13

RECIPE FOR ONE (1) SPICY MAMA:

-->

Prep time varies, depending on freshness of ingredients

Active baking time is nine (9) months per child

For best results, allow components of dish to simmer for 30 to 40 years

Ingredients

One (1) Chicana, no younger than 25 (premium results if raised in East Los Angeles and well-educated)

Add one (1) free range, farm raised Chicano activist/educator (first-class pairing if he is from San Joaquin Valley or nearby)

Trio of Children: Direct offspring, no less than three (3); Extended family offspring (number varies by region); School children, browned but not burnt

Place all components in suburban environment, throwing homemade birthday parties, allowing time for play outside, mixing and bonding children. (Warning: direct offspring may shed several layers before maturing so disregard any unusual changes in outward appearance.)

Once you have a complex, tasty flavor profile simmering you may want to introduce foreign seasoning (from various travel adventures) – make sure to include a variety of exotic flavors, from piquant to sweet. Hint: if you want your dish more on the tangy side simply add more children.

Allow dish time to rise – a public school makes for a great proofing process, but only if the mama can be paired with other spicy dishes. The more you can mix things up, the more scrumptious and savory the final flavor will be.

To keep things appetizing, pull dish from heat after 60 or so years and allow others to enjoy the rich bouquet of your spicy mama. Enjoy!

Sunday, April 1

"WHAT" FACE?!?

The time has come to answer the questions I’m sure many of you have been asking yourselves: Do I have gayface? What is gayface, anyway? How would I recognize it (in the mirror or on someone else)?

Relax. I’m making this rare return to the blogosphere to inform, insult and amuse… but mostly to set the record, uh, straight on gayface.

A simple hop over to Urban Dictionary (here) gives us a basic starting point: a look that gay men have that enables other gay men to quickly identify them. Ignoring the clumsy, confusing antecedent car wreck and the tepid, annoying homophobia inhabiting this entry we have our first kernel of truth. Recognizing gayface is an internal, instinctual process which functions much like basic gaydar: you know it when you see it. Contrary to what Urban Dictionary users would have you believe you don’t have to be gay to recognize gayface (like gaydar). And while the ability to spot gayface certainly springs from a subconscious procedure, it remains a process that can be sharpened and fine-tuned.

The next step in our research takes us to Loaded Gun, Boston (here) for a simple, yet balanced look at gayface including a (sloppy) citation of an article in Radar magazine, which named some famous men suffering from gayface. (For a look at some famous contemporary victims, go here.)

To get a baseline reading of your ability to spot gayface, here’s a little quiz:

1. The man is this photo has gayface, true or false?

The answer is, “Whoah Nelly, he has a telethon-worthy case of gayface!”

2. Which side of this photo contains gayface, the left or the right?

The answer is both. Any guy who can “make” the expression on the right has spent countless hours in front of a mirror trying to suppress his condition, as evidenced in the photo on the left.

Think this post has taken a turn towards the heartless, mean-spirited land of snark? I’m being nice. Gentle, even. Check out this site (here), which makes use of profile pictures from Grindr (oh, look it up) to really bring the gayface smackdown! Here’s a sample collage of some pics without the author’s evil/sometimes funny commentary: