Hey Kitty

Hey there pretty kitty!

I know you’ve had a rough run recently.

 

You’ve been backed into a corner,

put under a microscope,

 

and driven crazy.

Even on the best day getting out of bed was a chore.

 

It seemed as though life would devour you whole.

It was enough to make you want to run and hide, hide, hide!

Troubles all around drove you to drink

 

(but made you want to worse).

 

And although at times it may have felt like you were just being dragged along against your will,

 
Forced to deal with people who seemed nothing like you

 

And meetings where you were the odd one out

 

You held your own, of that be sure!

 

Luckily, not everyone you met on this journey was a total freak.

 

Although some may have seemed like it

 

Your family reached out to show their love

 

And you made it through! So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

 

And remember, as strange as things may get:

 

You are not alone.

RECIPE FOR ONE (1) SPICY MAMA:

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Prep time varies, depending on freshness of ingredients

Active baking time is nine (9) months per child

For best results, allow components of dish to simmer for 30 to 40 years

Ingredients

One (1) Chicana, no younger than 25 (premium results if raised in East Los Angeles and well-educated)

Add one (1) free range, farm raised Chicano activist/educator (first-class pairing if he is from San Joaquin Valley or nearby)

Trio of Children: Direct offspring, no less than three (3); Extended family offspring (number varies by region); School children, browned but not burnt

Place all components in suburban environment, throwing homemade birthday parties, allowing time for play outside, mixing and bonding children. (Warning: direct offspring may shed several layers before maturing so disregard any unusual changes in outward appearance.)

 Once you have a complex, tasty flavor profile simmering you may want to introduce foreign seasoning (from various travel adventures) – make sure to include a variety of exotic flavors, from piquant to sweet. Hint: if you want your dish more on the tangy side simply add more children.

Allow dish time to rise – a public school makes for a great proofing process, but only if the mama can be paired with other spicy dishes. The more you can mix things up, the more scrumptious and savory the final flavor will be.

To keep things appetizing, pull dish from heat after 60 or so years and allow others to enjoy the rich bouquet of your spicy mama. Enjoy!

YOU SO CRAZY, GIRL

I love watching Comedy Central - that's not a secret - but my one complaint concerns all the rude, angry (and not-that-funny) white men they feature. Yes, from the shows to the stand-up specials, guys rule the roost at Comedy Central.

But every so often, they feature a rockin' female comic talent. (You can read about one of my faves here.) One such woman is Lisa Landry. She's a truly funny gal and her material is always as funny as it is topical and relevant to everyday life.

You can check out her funny site, LisaLandry.com or check out here contributions to US magazine's "Fashion Police" segment here.

If you get the chance to see her stand-up special on TV, or see her live, I highly recommend the experience.

YOU GO, BARBARA

According to Fox Noise (here), ABC news legend and producer of The View, Barbara Walters had a little talk with Survivor loser (well, all-around loser), and nut job Elisabeth Hasslebeck. After a recent episode where Hasslebeck got a little hot under the collar during a political discussion, Walters told Elisabeth to, "cool it, or start looking for a new job."

Now, I'm not a big fan of censorship of any kind, but then again, I'm not a journalism legend, or producer of a major, national TV talk show. And Hasslebeck needed to be shut up. It's not just that I disagree with her views, I don't like the way she expresses them: shouting and slapping her hands on the table, with little or no regard for the actual truth.

And she's pretty much a mouthpiece for the Republican National Committee. I've heard talking points come from the Bush White House, only to spill out of Hasslebeck's mouth the next morning. (I mean, if you're going to try to be a political force, maybe you should come up with your own talking points. Or at least paraphrase the ones you're given, so it sounds like you're capable of an original thought.)

But I guess I don't have to worry about that moron flapping her yap anymore. Baba Wawa is on the case.

YOU GO, GIRL!

Everyone said she was done-for, but (once again) she proved them wrong: Hillary trounced Obama in Penn. by a comfortable margin. When Obama beat Hillary, in previous contests, by this same exact margin, the pundits declared the race to be over; they said Hillary was done for, after such a sound defeat.

But turn on the TV today, open a newspaper or go on the web, and the majority of news sources are playing down Hillary's clear victory, and saying she should drop out, or how she still can't win. Obama apologists on TV are saying this is not a mandate; that this loss is no big deal, that "overall" he's still ahead. Pro-Obama bloggers tout his ability to "transcend" race when he speaks about race, but when she talks about race, she's "racist." What's with the double standard, America?

The only balanced coverage so far was MSNBC (quoting a newspaper article), saying, "Hillary won't lose, and Obama can't win... why can't he close the deal?" Other than that, Hillary's win is greeted with gloom and doom stories about her campaign.

I know better than to listen to pundits, or take what I read in the paper too seriously. I mean, they've got me all wrong: I'm a Latino male, under 40, with a college degree (working towards a second, thank you very much), and I support Hillary. According to the polls, I don't exist. All the others in my group are "die-hard" Obama fans...

But hey, it ain't over 'till it's over.

For a less serious picture of Hillary, click here.

YOU GO, SISTER WOMAN GIRLFRIEND

I love watching Comedy Central. From South Park, to the stand-up specials, it is one of my favorite channels. But one beef I have is with how male dominated this network is: it seems overrun by fat, obnoxious (and often very angry) white men.

Oh sure, they brought us The Sarah Silverman Show, but I dare anyone to tell me that show doesn't have a male slant, and male driven humor. (There are way too many scatological and genital references for the writers to be female.)

But every so often, they'll actually run a female comedian special One of my favorites is Kathleen Madigan. If you haven't seen her act, it is a riot. She is smart, funny and manages to deliver comedy that both men and women can enjoy. Her material is both accessible, and fresh - both in topic and delivery. And she manages to be funny without resorting to "persona" comedy, or hyper-character work. Her tales about her upbringing, American culture and observations about the world always leave me in stitches.

It is my sincere wish that comedians like Kathleen get more exposure in the mainstream media. But I think for that to happen, they must first receive proper support and exposure from within the comedy community. I realize stand up is a male-dominated field (like many others), but with over 50% of the population made of women, you think Comedy Central would try to court that audience by promoting and presenting more female comedians. Until that day comes, I'll keep watching Kathleen's specials.

Kathleen Madigan has several comedy albums available on iTunes. Her website is kathleenmadigan.com.

THAT'S MY HOMEGIRL!

OK, so I wanna start of by saying I know the votes in Florida (and Michigan) don't "count" towards the Democratic Convention, but my homie Hillary Clinton won those states anyway, so suck it Obama! (Deep down inside, I don't really think they'll deny two major states their delegates, but that remains to be seen.)

After Obama trounced Hillary in South Carolina (by the same margin she beat him in Florida yesterday), there was all sorts of talk - both on and off television - that Hillary couldn't win the nomination now. But, I think Florida (and Michigan) are more representative of the nation, and speaks more to Hillary's elect-ability. But the true test comes next week, when states (like my home state) weigh in.

TWO OF MY FAVORITE GALS

This photo (courtesy of DailyNews.com) was taken last week at an Los Angeles rally for Sen. Clinton. The rally was held as CSUN, where my father teaches, and my sister attends. That's her (baby sis) in the middle right-hand corner of the photo.

YOU GO, SISTER-WOMAN GIRLFRIEND!

I read something interesting the other day: it was about the first female driver. When Madamme Levassor's husband died (back in the 1890s), he left her the patent rights to the Daimler gas-powered engine (in France and Belguim—at the time, a big deal in the world of autos).


Not only did M. Levassor become the first recorded female driver (photos proving this date back to 1892), but soon after, she began manufacturing cars... which she named after herself.

You go, sister!

SO PROUD, I'M BESIDE MYSELF

OK, so I've been holding off on this post, for two reasons:

1. Historical accuracy: As far as I can tell, the pictures I combined to make this new photo were taken 29 years ago, today — the day they introduced me to my new, baby sister.

2. If I think about it too much, I'll cry... and that's just not pretty.

Anyone who reads (or has read any old posts on) my blog knows my life has been in the toity for a couple years. But my baby sister (who had her b-day a week ago) is just the opposite:

*She's about to start grad school, with a grant taking care of her fees'n'stuff (and they don't give that money to just anybody, y'know)
*She's been taking care of here body for a while now, and looks fab (aside to any straight guys out there: she's got a big set of bazoombas)
*She's smart, articulate, artistic and except for her obsession with lame-@ss Disney Chnl. shows (Hah! you've been outed), she's a rockin', kick-@ss person.

I'm so proud of her, and happy to count her amongst my friends. Yes, I said friends. If I met her now, I would still seek out her company—want to spend time with her. How many family members can you say that about?

FLY RIGHT

So my sister and her girlfriend just left... no, not that sister, my older sister -- the flight attendant. She and her new (kick-ass) girlfriend spent the week here, and (except for all the leftover Tecate in the fridge) it was a nice visit.

What can I say? I love my sister, but can't stand beer...