WOW

This was an amazing moment. I won't waste time talking about how I thought Milk was robbed last night by that stupid "Dog" movie. What I will say is that Lance is an amazing writer, and he deserved that Oscar.

YOU GOTTA GIVE 'EM HOPE

I'd like to throw my two cents into the universe regarding this year's Oscar Best Picture: Milk, should and will win, if there's any justice in the universe. (Although the film makes it obvious that justice isn't a constant.)

I cannot imagine Slumdog Millionaire as anywhere near the same level of scope, width and depth as a film like Milk.

And I'm not just saying this because I went to school with the movie's writer and one of its stars.

Best Pictures should be in the way of and even Ben Hur, Schindler's List, West Side Story, Amadeus, The Last Emperor and even Forrest Gump. Can we really look back at 2008 at say Slumdog is the absolute best cinema had to offer?

OSCAR ROUNDTABLE

I just finished reading Newskeek Magazine's yearly Oscar Roundtable. This year (the 12th year) featured Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler), Anne Hathaway (Rachel Getting Married), Robert Downey Jr. (Topic Thunder, more on that debacle, later), Sally Hawkins (Happy-Go-Lucky), Brad Pitt (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) and Anthony Langella (Frost/Nixon).

My general thoughts (general, so as not to spoil the article for the rest of you):

• Anthony Langella sounds like a complete turd. He starts pretty much every other answer with some shot about how he's "been in this game the longest" or some bullsh!t like that
• Brad Pitt sounds like someone I'd love to have a drink with (anyone who throws a circumcision joke into a formal interview is my kinda guy!)
  
• Anne Hathaway needs to get over her bad press (we love you, but not enough to feel sorry for you)
  
• Sally Hawkins actually made me go and put her film in the Netflix cue (don't listen to Mickey Rourke, LA is a fine place to live... sometimes)
  
• I didn't get a sense of Rourke of Downey Jr., except for a hilarious story Robert Downey Jr. told about being "Brown Betty" for two days after some bad beef in Japan.

Overall, I think this year's roundtable was great. If you have a subscription to Newsweek, or have the chance to pick up a copy, I highly recommend this article.

OH SEND A MAN...

I spent a better part of last week on the couch, watching TV. I caught part of the 1999 remake of The Thomas Crown Affair, with Pierce Brosnan and the delicious Renee Russo (IMDB for the film here).

The final sequence features a performance of Sinnerman (Wiki page here) by the incomparable Nina Simone. The song is a "traditional" spiritual (show me a non-traditional spiritual, and I'll remove the quote marks), but Simone puts her one-of-a-kind stamp on it.

Here is the song, as it appears in the movie (check out the cameo from Sex & The City's The Turtle):



I've had this song in my head the past few mornings - it's been overcast - Simone's haunting, gorgeous vocals just seem to fit my mood, and the weather.

FOUR QUICK MOVIE REVIEWS

I've seen a number of movies in the past few weeks, but no one single film stood out enough to warrant a blog post, so here are four quickie movie reviews.

Be Kind, Rewind - A movie with a ton of heart. They went all-out with the "homemade" visuals for the films. This movie would have been way better without Jack Black. Most films today can be summed up via an old Hollywood standard: it's like Alien meets The Blair Witch Project; that is to say most film concepts are boiled down into simple, familiar and easy to digest "concepts," as opposed to trying to create something interesting and new. This film operates way outside the normal Hollywood zone(s), feeling more like an independent film with a hefty budget.


In Bruges - The DVD box said it was a, "comic, action-packed romp with non-stop chases and an explosive ending." There was ONE chase scene, with shooting, and it came 1 hour and 37 minutes in to the film. The rest of the film was a broken-down, sad, sorry excuse of a mess, with Colin Farrell crying and moping in a dull Belgium city. Don't waste your time on this one. And if I ever meet the moron who put together the packaging for this DVD, I'll show them what an action-packed romp is... by introducing them to the business side of a 2x4.



Alvin & The Chipmunks - Yes, really. It wasn't all that bad. I wish they'd made the voices (and some of the music) a little more like the older Chipmunks projects: there was very little distinction between the three 'munks, and the supposedly slammin' versions of the songs sounded more like Kidz Bop than an actual children's musical. The actors playing opposite the CGI chipmunks held their own, considering that most of the dialog and song choices were way too grown-up for a kids film. (Did any little kids get the, "bom chicka wah-wah," let's get it on jokes?) Overall, there are worse ways to spend a couple of hours.

Cloverfield - OK, I finally fell for the hype and threw this one in the Netflix cue. I really only have a couple of thoughts about this sh!t sammy:

1) Many films, from Jaws to The Blair Witch Project, kept audiences on the edge of their seats with fright, without really ever showing the actual source of terror. If you're going for that kind of vibe, don't show us the monster, and definitely avoid close-up shots and panoramic, sweeping shots of the damn thing... if that's the vibe you're after, go for it, don't half-@ss it.
2) Most, if not all, consumer video cameras nowadays have some sort of horizon stabilization mechanism, so there's no need for the excessively shaky manner in which the story is presented. And, if the time line of the story is to be believed, the battery on said camera lasted almost 8 full hours.
3) Normally, even in a disaster film, I have trouble buying that so much crap could happen to just one little group of people... but with Cloverfield, the characters made so many horrible choices, I actually believed the bad luck and misfortune they encountered.

2008 BEST PICTURE NOMINEES

I stole these from the PNSexplosion blog, Boomtacular. Thanks, guys!

CONCERNS ABOUT McHEALTH

I finally saw Super Size Me, and I was pretty shocked. Even though I knew the way the movie would more or less go, I was... again, shocked. I have a couple of cousins with kids, and they feed their kids McDonald's on a regular basis, and I just wanted to cry when I saw what the way McD's markets to kids, and then feeds them death meals. I'm not sure if I'll say anything (yet), as it might come across a little preachy, but I think that was the point of the movie.

WADDA JUNO?

So, I finally gave in to the hype, and saw Juno. I want to preface this mini-review with the following statement: it didn't suck. But it didn't rock, either. And it doesn't deserve the best picture buzz, either. Don't get me wrong: it was cute. A little too cute a times, and way too into itself. It had cutesy lingo, and seemed to love how clever it was, but in that way that is annoying: "Look at me, aren't I clever!"

No, not that much. Allison Janney turns in a first class performance (but what else would you expect). And Michael Cera is great, and Jasom Bateman delivers. But the performance that blew me away was Jennifer Garner. I'm not her biggest fan - she was cute in 13 Going On 30 - but I've never been really thought of her as an amazing actress... until now.

She delivers a raw, real, emotional performance... usually these kind of roles can be hard to watch. They're too much, overacted or under written, or both. But Garner delivers a heartfelt, realistic, all too human turn as the adoptive mother of smart ass Juno's bastard. I don't think it is a performance worthy of awards, but it was the first glimpse of true artistry I've seen from her.

Overall, I'd rate the movie 3 our of 5.

SNEAK PEEK

During the most recent Comic Book Convention, also called Comic-Con, hosted in San Diego, we got our first peek at the next Tim Burton - Johnny Depp movie. They are teaming up for a movie version of Sweeey Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - the musical.

After Assassins, this is Stephen Sondheim's most misunderstood, darkest work. (His most disastrous, yet oft performed show is Merrily We Roll Along, which I've seen, own the soundtrack to, have performed excerpts from at a UCLA Showcase.) I'm beyond excited to see how these two do, teaming up for this show.

If you want to see an, uh, interesting version of a number from this show - one starring George Carlin and Ben Affleck - then you'll have to sit through all of Jersey Girl... which I don't recommend doing on a full stomach. Or an empty one.

Either way, the bar for Mr. Depp and Mr. Burton is set... and if you know how rabid (and difficult to please) Sondheim fans are, you know just how high that bar is.

THE HARRY POTTER QUIZ

Think you know the world's most famous wizard? Here's a simple quiz, from Sunday's Parade Magazine. The cover of the magazine featured Emma Watson, who plays Hermoine Granger in the new installment, out this week.

For the answers to this quiz, click here. For a more advanced version of the quiz, click here. (And I fully expect you to take the quiz and check your answers... this means you, Julie.)

1. What sport do they play at Hogwarts?
a) broom ball
b) rugby
c) cricket
d) quidditch

2. When was the first Harry Potter book released in the U.S.?
a) 1999
b) 1998
c) 1997
d) 1996

3. What does the "J" in "JK Rowling" stand for?
a) Janine
b) Jillian
c) Joanne
d) Jessica

4. True or false: J.K. Rowling is worth more than the Queen of England.

5. What's the highest number of Harry Potter books sold in the U.S. in one 24-hour period?
a) 6.9 million
b) 5 million
c) 2.7 million
d) 7.8 million

6. Which of these is not a name of a Harry Potter book?
a) Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix
b) Harry Potter & The Glass Prophecy
c) Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince
d) Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows

7. Official translations exist in all the following languages except:
a) Ancient Greek
b) Russian
c) Estonian
d) Zulu

8. What is the highest grossing Harry Potter movie to date?
a) Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone
b) Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets
c) Harry Potter & The prisoner of Azkaban
d) Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire

For the answers to this quiz, click here.

WHO NEEDS THE KWIK-E MART?

Apparently, we all need the Kwik-E Mart. (Remember the musical episode of the Simpsons, where Apu sang about losing his job? NO? Then the title of this post is a total waste!) Several 7-11 quick marts have been converted into Kwik-E Marts, the famous store from the long-running Simpsons TV show. (Its been on the air for almost 2 decades now.) The Kwik-E Mart had always been a satirical nod at 7-11 and its products, not to mention its proprietor, Apu. To promote the new full-length feature film, The Simpsons Movie, 7-11 gave a handful of its stores a make-over, including cut-outs of the characters and a selection of Simpson products.

The stores, including a Burbank, California location, saw an explosive increase in store sales since this promotion began, over the weekend. According to the Los Angeles Daily Times, single-store sales increased as much as 300%. For the rest of us, local 7-11s will care similar products all month. You can go to your local 7-11 to order Squishees, just like Bart, Homer and Lisa would.

Other products featured in the cartoon show will also be available, including Buzz Cola, and Krusty-O's (Bart and Lisa's favorite breakfast cereal). 7-11 will continue to promote the movie in all of its stores, but the special merchandise will only be available at select locations, so hurry up and get yours.

In other Simpsons-related news, Fox (the studio releasing the movie) is having a contest to see which Springfield city will host the movie's big release. The actual location of the Simpsons' home town remains a well-guarded secret. But Mayor Joe Quimby, uh, I mean Sen. Kennedy (who I think Joe Quimby is based on) has declared the city to be in Massachusetts, thus claiming the right for his home state to host the premier.

UH, SELL OUT MUCH?

I used to work for the Los Angeles Independent Film Festival, now, the Los Angeles Film Festival. At first, the name change didn't really mean much. Then, year by year, they began killing the very spirit of the festival — partly out of a desire to go "international," but mostly out of a desire to get bigger sponsors and thus, turn a profit.

Now, don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with being profit-minded; nothing at all. The Sundance Film Festival, also another festival I was associated with (for three years) took nearly two decades before it saw a profit. And that's a pretty major festival, when it comes to indie films. The joke used to be: The L.A. Independent Film Festival is the third most important festival in North America - just ask anyone who works there. My point is that no matter how enthusiastic we were, or how great our films were, there was no way we'd ever be as important (or rich) as the folks over at Sundance.

Over the past seven years, the LA Film Fest has gone from showing amazing films like George Washington, Queen of the Whole Wide World, Attraction and Keep the River On Your Right: A Modern Cannibal Tale. All of these are modern, indie classics. From shorts to docs, the LA Film Fest used to have it all. On year, the special series of films focused on new horror films, like this one about a girl who is bitten by a werewolf on the same day she gets her first period. (It was an awesome, scary and even funny flick.) This year's special programs include "audience favorites" like Shall We Dance and A Christmas Story. (The festival is in on now, by the way.)

But the biggest, most upsetting change is that the festival, this year, opened with Transformers. A far cry from it's days as the third most important film festival in North America.

CRANK THIS MOTHER UP!

Alright, so I wrote a review of Crank, but blogger crashed my browser... twice. (And yes, I'm using the latest version of Firefox, so fuck-off, all you blogger assholes. Your product, free or not, sucks. I'm ready to pay for one that works.) So here is, take three:


My cousin, Sandra and I, went to the first screening of Crank, and it rocked. It wasn't heavily screened for reviewers, which is usually a bad sign when films are released in the US. But in this case, I think the studio took the right route. Most reviewers in major American print outlets are over-40, bitter, and have more hair on their butt than their balls (or head.) Except Ken Turran over at the Times, he's my dawg. But not matter what those other turds say, this movie rocked the kooch. (Amy Smart more than earns her second-billing in this film. Even though she's only in about 1/3 of the film, she steals nearly every scene she's in.)

Crank features pulse-pounding action, breathtaking stunt sequences, a too-hot-for-TV sex scene and big, belly laughs. The jump/stutter-cuts, and other MTV editing tricks (terms the over-40 reviewer uses as an insult, but I choose to reclaim, as a compliment) are smart, effecient ways of matching the break-neck speed of the action. For once, an action film found a way to keep the pace solid, from start to finish, without overwhelming the plot, or the audience. My only beef was that the pace never let up. With just a few subtle changes here and there, this film could be a blockbuster. It may turn out that way, regardless.

One scene that stuck out in my mind, was a chase sequence, where Jason Statham (who somehow managed to turn the usual macho-acting homo-bashing into a sexy, arousing sneer—just imagine him calling another gangster and asking, "Y'feel like going' down on me? Lettin' me lick your arse?—turns from harASSment to hot) is on his cell phone. Rather than simply inter-cut the two callers, they project the image of the other guy onto the wall, behind Statham, while he runs. Little tricks like this keep the film up-and-running like... well, let's just say there's a hard-on scene (before the sex scene) that's not to be missed. There are plenty of nice shots of Statham's ass, also not to be missed included in the film. And the ending... has to be seen to be believed.

If you haven't seen a good action flick in a while (and I hadn't), go see Crank.

LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD...

So it turns out John Cena has been a busy boy... I've noticed he was only getting his head smashed open (by a bench, table or TV set) on WWE once a week or so, and I wondered why.

Then, as I was running errands, I noticed a poster for a new movie: The Marine.

Here's a picture of an, "action sequence from said film.

OH YEAH...

One more thing... one track I didn't mention on my August tunes list was the 25th Anniversary Edition of the Battlestar Galactica Movie soundtrack. It contains a disco version of the original '70s theme song, lasting over five minutes. Mmm, tasty.

You can check out the track here.

HEY, YAAAAH

I wanted to take a moment out to praise the new film, Idlewild, from the guys in Outkast. I've been reading a number of press sources, all dumping on the film, and it kind of ticked me off. I mean , what do a bunch of old, white men know about what's hip anyway?

The film is smart, sexy and brings the entire genre of musicals into a new era. It sings, dances, dazzles... and just delivers. I highly suggest this film to anyone who knows what cool is, or just wants to know.

The only negative thing I have to say is that the seats weren't that comfortable, and that had nothing to do with the actual film. It was an A+ effort from all involved, so go see it.