WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED?

According to The Los Angeles Times, Bristol Palin and her fiance called off their impending nuptials. Um... this one's almost too easy, kids.

S'WHAT I'M TALKIN' BOUT...

Not that I had any doubts (I mean, I didn't even tune in to watch, which tells you how confident and/or cheap I am), but it is nice to see the WWE championship back in John Cena's hands. His big, muscular, hunky, hot-and-heavy and ready-for-action hands…

Hold on, I need a minute to collect myself.
OK, there. I'm back.

One thing about the recent turn of events in the world of pro-wrestling (and no, I'm not talking about that lame-@ss show on the Spike! Network), is all the Cena haters. In addition to having to deal with his so-called competitors, my boo now has to deal with an imaginary backlash that some fool is trying to kick-up. Adding insult to injury, less than 24 hours after getting his title back, he had to go into the ring (on the USA Network Monday night) with the belt on the line... again!

When are those peanut-buttah, tar-tar, chowder-head haters gonna learn? There can only be ONE champ, and most of them are too fugly to even get in the ring with my boy Cena… they should just stay home, y'know?

I mean, look at him! I ganked this image from a great fan site—you should check it out.)

See? That's what I'm talkin' bout! (And what I'm lookin' fo, too.)