AN OPEN LETTER TO RAGAN FOX

Dear Ragan,

I'm not going to waste any time talking about how I'm a big fan of your show -- a simple trip to the podcast archives will find a v.m. message I left, somewhere back in the first 12 episodes or so... something about chicken'n'waffles. Nor will I spend any time praising your strong, clear stand in defense of gay/lesbian, women's and human rights - anyone who is smart enough to listen to your show is also smart enough to know the manner in which you normally champion these issues.

No, I'll just cut right to the chase: a few months back, I found a digital preview of a new magazine in my email inbox. I've working in the publishing industry before, so I know how hard it is to find feedback untainted by the evils of marketing. So, I read the darn thing (as much as one can, in this format) and submitted my feedback. Overall, the magazine offered very little in the way of new ideas. They seemed hell-bent on marketing themselves as the thinking tweakers' version of XY magazine... which pretty much says it all. But that wasn't the worst of it. No, what really left my designer briefs in a bunch was the lack of diversity in this magazine. Nearly every image was of skinny, white men. And the image most upsetting? YOURS.

Now, don't get me wrong, Ragan: I love ya. I would F- You in the -A, and give you a BJ anytime. We even get our hair did at the same place, which in some odd, faggy way makes me like you even more. (Although I've never had the crazy Russian lady. I always wait around for the big, daddy bear, but that's a story for another time.)

No, what upset me was the image of my modern-day hero, my champion of diversity, selling out to a white-washed magazine. I won't use the word, "disappointed" -- that's a heavy, nasty word, and I'm not angry enough to lash out like that... I just, I dunno... hoped, well... let's just say that after I found your podcast I had more hope for the future, found greater faith in my fellow man/woman, and felt a little less alone knowing someone out there thought/acted/spoke the way you did.

I don't know what I expect to come of this. I know this may be an unfair burden to place on you. I just though, will all your personal attempts at honesty and clarity, I owed this to you.

love,
A Fan

EXPERT OPINIONS

From the "I Know What I'm Talking About" Files: (thanks to the BRI)

I applaud (Pres) Nixon's comprehensive statement, which clarely demonstrates again that the president was not involved in the Watergate matter.
-George Bush, Sr. (1974)

We're going to make everyone forget The Beatles.
-Barry Gibb, on the Bee Gee's 1976 movie version of "Sgt. Peppers"

It will be gone by July.
Variety magazine, in 1955

No woman will in my time be prime minister.
Margaret Thatcher, 10 years before this cover of Time magazine hit newsstands

SPIN, SPIN SUGAR

After a nearly two-year break (and by break, I mean I caught pneumonia, landed in the hospital, etc.) from working out I jumped back on the bike this December.

I'm amazed by the ease with which my body took to it, after such a long break. I'm even more amazed at how much of a SPIN snob I still am. Now, don't' get me wrong-I'm in poor shape right now.

But back when I was really puttin' the pedal to the medal, I was teaching SPIN several times a week a clubs like Crunch, Equinox, 24 Fitness, LA Fitness, The Hollywood Boxing Club and other small, private locations. I know good classes when I see them, and kids, I ain't seein' them. I'm not sure what this means -- for me, or for the fitness community.

WHOAH, BABES!

So, I was doing some browsing in iTunes, and a search found some interesting results, and a search for Cher (don't ask, and I won't beat you) and guess who turned up? The PNSexplosion! Whoah, babes! I'm not sure how the search engine for iTunes works, but you gotta admit: this is pretty damn funny/odd.

(For those of you who are nosey enough to zoom in on my playlists, yes there's an entire playlist dedicated to Anastacia--I'm that gay. And yes, that's a disc I'm working on for the boys at the Daily Purge at the top of the list.)

JUSTICE IS BLIND (?)

I haven't put up a new post in a while - mostly 'cuz I didn't have too much to say. I had my year-end best-of lists for music, movies and other opinions nobody asked for, but I didn't have anything to say. Then, the whole Gay's Anatomy faggot thing got, well, interesting.

When Mel Gibson went on a foul-mouthed rant, the whole world seemed to stop. Everyone freaked out, and Mel was forced to eat shit. Then, the untalented, and questionably employable Kramer from the not-so-funny Seinfeld went on the n-word rant. The world (again) stopped, freaked out and ordered up another pile of shit platter. So far, the same reaction, from all sides.

Yet when Isaah Washington called the less-than-attractive TR Knight (Night?) a faggot, it barely registered on the radar. Where was Oprah? Jesse Jackson? Paul Mooney, and the mayor of Los Angeles? Where were the press conferences about how words hurt, etc? Why are gays the only ones ingesting feces this time? What is up with the world right now?

It doesn't take a genius to connect these dots and figure it out...

MOVE OVER, BACON...

[ASIDE: That was a long enough break from blogging, no?]

OK, so if you don't already know about that lame trivia game, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, here's the (very) skinny: at some point in time, so Resivoir Dogs-loving movie nerd, uh, I mean... movie buff figured out that all actors can be linked back to Kevin Bacon in six steps or less. Uncle John gives this example: O.J. Simpson was in Naked Gun, with Priscilla Presley, who was in The Adventures of Ford Fairlane with Gilbert Gottfried, who was in Beverly Hills Cop II with Paul Riser, who was in the movie Diner, with... yup, you've guessed it!

And as if that wasn't nerdy enough, some computer scientist at the University of Virgina crunched the data to arrive at the number of actual degrees an actor rests from the Footloose-one. This number is called a bacon number. [Insert off-color Miss Piggy joke here.] The average distance is 2.917, or less that three degrees...

but that isn't the scary part.

No, this theory was applied to other actors (based on information at IMdB), and it seems there are other actors with lower bacon numbers. Some of the winners include Shelley Winters (who clocked in at 2.75 degrees). Wanna know who else beat the Bacon-Master? Check out the site dedicated to the study of Bacon Numbers. Until then...

TIME GOES BY... TOO SLOWLY

I was so I excited about NBC airing Madonna's "Confessions Tour" last week, even with the controversial crucifixion cut out. This was a horrible blunder on the network's part: more people would have watched, if only to be able to then voice their outrage. Don't believe me? Check out the ratings. Madonna, her roller-disco dancers and that strange horse-thing she humped pulled only pulled a 3.35% share. (That's about 3.5 million or so, kids.)

But the concert special had bigger problems, way beyond the missing cross and crown of thorns: it was just bad. Plain ol' stinky, yawn-inducing, "I own all her albums, all her remixes on vinyl and CD, and I don't recognize these clunky-arrangements," bad. The concert itself may have been fun to attend, and it featured the usual high-end tech and impressive theatrical production only Madonna can deliver/invent, but the way it was shot (and especially the way it was editing) made in nearly unwatchable.

Yeah, maybe I'm getting older -- or just too old to enjoy what's "hip" these days -- but, the stutter/jump-cuts, and whirlwind merry-go-round of camera angles made it hard for me to get a feel for the show. At one point, I actually counted, and there wasn't a single shot/POV that lasted more than 3 seconds... three freakin' seconds, I mean, COME ON! I've heard/read so much about how MTV generation, etc. are suffering socially and in the classroom because they have no attention span, and how A.D.D.-style entertainment (like this) is to blame.

I'm not sure about all that... all I know is I expected... well, more.

SCREENCLEANER PRO!

This is an actual, unaltered screen shot of an amazing application (well, OK, maybe it is more of a utility, but you get the idea). This little gem adjusts, well, cleans, your screen. The difference is SO noticeable, and it is actually fun to watch the little "cleaning rag" bounce around your screen as the adjustments are made. When you first start the program up, it doesn't do anything. To be honest, it doesn't do anything for quite a while (it's reading your settings, checking things out, etc.). But the, it leaps into action, and you actually have a better view than before.

Usually I can't stand it when people throw an exclamation (sp? I'm too lazy this morning) on the end of a service or product, as though shouting about it will make people more excited, or make the product, and/or service better. But in this case, Screencleaner Pro! deserves it.

BREAK WIND/WINDS OF CHANGE

It seems as though not much will change on the poli-landscape, which makes me sad. For all the ink they've earned, the Dems don't seem like they're really on the path to victory.

With Carl Rove, et. al., making sure that plenty of pork is flowing to the various battle-ground states, the Republicrats are going to hold on to power. Yes, in b/g states, projects that have languished for months are suddenly being fully-funded, and major ad-offensive (no, not offensive, like the Rush Limbaugh attack on Michael P. Keaton) may tip the power back towards the evil warmongers. No matter what side of the aisle you sit on, you have to vote this year...

more to come

PROGRESSIVE, INDEED

OK, so this is an ad from Progressive Insurance, my kick-ass carrier. What does he mean? What the hell? Why am I singing the prasises of my car insurance? Simple: they do what they say, no-hassles and take really great care of me. Period.

If you're familiar with my previous disasters and trials, regarding a certain insurance company, you'll understand. If not, feel free to familiarize yourself with the drama. And if you need new isurance, check out Progressive.

I love their ad campagins, too... this one was from a series of "imaginary insurance" services. Pretty cool.

SUCH AN ELECTION YOU SHOULD HAVE

There's been an interesting crop of stories about Jews in politics this election season, from candidates who deny/don't know their own Jewish background, to the guy in Texas running as the, "Good Ol' Texas Jew Boy," but this month's issue of Heeb offered what I found to be one of the more interesting historical bits:

Fiorello LaGuardia, often called the father of NYC (which makes Gulliani the creepy uncle, I guess), was once accused of being Anti-Semetic, during a campaign. LaGuardia, who's mother was Jewish, responded by challenging the critic to debate, in Yiddish... which was never accepeted.

Today's politicos could learn a thing or four from such a man!

NOVEMBER TUNES

Ch-ch-ch-check 'em out!


We Run This [X-Press 2 Remix] Missy Elliott -- You can't buy this track as a normal music customer, but you can get a listen over at the Dance Department podcast, available thru iTunes.

What About Us [Jacques Lu Cont / Original] Texas -- Unfortunate name for a band, but killer track. amazing remix from Mr. LuCont.

Fergalicious / Give It What U Got [Original Mixes] Fergie / AfroRican -- Normally, a cover track makes the original look lame, or vice versa... but in this case, they both rock

Speed of Sound [Remixes / Original] Coldplay -- I won't pretend to understand this song (or get past their pretentious attitude), but I love all the mixes I've heard of this one, and the original, t'boot.

Anything remixed by the Freemasons, including Deja Vu by Beyonce, Shine by Luther Vandross and Mesmerized by Faith Evans


I've got more picks, but I want to select better artwork, and it's my night to make dinner, and I'm running late as it is...

MY HALLOWEEEN

My Halloween sure has changed: from drunken nights on The Boulevard, to... well, this.

That's Thomas (the newest member of the family) in the "hunny" pot, and James, in a costume I wore 28 years ago. Things change, but stay the same, eh?

NEVER OFFEND PEOPLE WITH STYLE

uglybettykruger
Originally uploaded by MrPunkLJPics.

when you can offend them with substance — Sam Brown

NO WORDS...

I was watching the news just now, and two items caught my attention:

1) This month's death toll in Iraq just topped 100

2) In the Amish (sp?) country where a rash of killings just happened, a car dealer is giving away guns with every test drive.

What the hell kind of world do we live in, anyway?

WHAT I'M WATCHING, Part Two

Heroes -- but only when its rebroadcast, on Fridays, on SciFi. Why? Dunno. OK, yes I do. I watch Battlestar Galactica every week (no tapes, no TiVo, must be live), so that preety much means by Friday night is spoken for, so I spend the time leading up to it watching TV I wouldn't normally watch... let's be honest: "Heroes" appeals to the lowest-common denomenators, and makes NO sense whatsoever. But I like the look of it: cartoony, without being childish; dark without being morose; animated without looking like a bad graphic novel. And last time (well, last week) the cheerleader took matters into her own hands. If you don't know what I mean, you owe it to yourself to check this show out.

Although, does anyone else think that guy was cuter when he was on "Gilmore Girls?"

WHY I'VE BEEN WATCHING WHAT I'VE BEEN WATCHING

... cuz' they accomplished more in one episode than "Will & Grace" did in an entire season.

WHAT I'M WATCHING, Part 1

Aside from the return of Battlestar Galactica, I can't think of any other TV shows I was excited to watch this fall. Then, I saw a preview for the English version of "Betty La Fea" -- one of THE biggest telenovas, ever.

Well, I'm hooked. Very few shows ever live up to the hype they get -- just ask the folks over at NBC/Universal Television, who more or less gave up on original, prime-time programming, and laid 700 people off: TV is a hard business.

But Ugly Betty not only lives up to the fanfare surrounding its cross-over to American TV, but breaks bold, new ground in the areas of gender identity, and body-image culture. And its damn funny, too.

Check it out if you get the chance.

USE ALL THAT MONEY TO BUY A CLUE!

I was browsing the morning paper the other day, when I came across an interesting item: casino magnate Steve Wynn, an avid rare/valuable art collector, decided to part with a Picasso he owned.

He sold it to a private party (rumored to be in the $130-140 million range), but while giving a private, "last minute" showing to some friends (including news anchor/dog lover Bawbwa Walters), he poked a hole int he painting with his elbow.

This was after the ink was dry on the deal -- the night before the painting was to exchange hands. He's offered to pay to have it restored...


which only proves money cany buy just about anything. Well, except, maybe... better hand-eye, uh, or I guess, elbow-eye coordination.

ALL THAT GLITTERS...

While, uh, browsing a copy of my favorite reference series, I came across a story that made me giggle... yeah, I said it: giggle. A fully-grown man in his thirties, giggled. A lot. (OK, I'm only a year into my thirties, but I had to say something to counter-balance the image of me having a girly-giggle fit.) Filed under medical mishaps, or "The Doctor Is Out (Of His Mind)" I found the following:

A patient of a hospital in Orange County, Florida, sued the facility in 2005, saying they had wrongly injected cosmetic glitter into his buttocks.

The story goes on to say that the man (an undercover police officer, to boot) had gone in for a routine sinus surgery, but when administered a shot of Demeral (a pain med), something, "felt" wrong. Several months later, the cheek where the Demeral had been injected was swollen, and contained, "green and red sparkling matter."


The outcome? Well, all parties involved agreed that, yes, there was, in fact glitter in this cop's ass. But so much time had lapsed (between the surgery and the actual identification of glitter), there was no way to determine the source of the glitter. The guy lost his lawsuit.


My only lingering thought is this: A patient of a hospital in Orange County, Florida, sued the facility in 2005, saying they had wrongly injected cosmetic glitter into his buttocks. Is there a correct, or perhaps, preferred procedure to select to obtain a glittering gluteus?