SCRUB MY SHOWER!

This is going to sound a little strange, but for Christmas, I was given a Scrubbing Bubbles Shower Cleaner. Yes, I asked for one, so it wasn't like an insulting gift, like Geeze, your shower is a scummy, nasty mess, here's an easy way to correct this problem. (Although, my older sister refuses to shower in my shower when she visits... but she's a bit of a germ-a-phobe, and the shower she uses is actually dirtier than mine, but that's a story for another day... or not.)

Anyway, I'm setting up the shower cleaner unit (hee hee hee), today, and I'm sad to report, it is quickly turning into the highlight of my day. I'm not going to go so far as to post pictures of the progress of the shower cleaner... but I felt the need to mention the fact I was going to start using it.

Who knows, maybe I'll end up giving updates - it is supposed to have your shower spotless in only 14 days - or maybe I'll just give an overall review of the product, later on. Either way, installation seems a little complicated, and I'm not sure where I'm going to store the extra bottles of cleaner they give you, but nonetheless, I'm thrilled.

What can I say? I'm old, and the big thrill of the weekend has shifted gears: from going out to the newest bar, hitting the clubs, or some Hollywood Hills house party, to new cleaning products. Such is life, no?

BUT WHO'S COUNTING?

There's an option, in iTunes, where you can calculate how long it would take to play all your music, from one end to the other.

When I clicked on mine, it read: 8 days, 8 hours, 2 minutes and 50 seconds.

I MAY HAVE RUSHED TO JUDGEMENT...

I have to admit, I wasn't the biggest Blake Lewis fan during American Idol. Don't get me wrong: I didn't want what's her name to win, either. But there was always something just a little off about his performing... I couldn't ever really express what bothered me about his run on Idol, but I was (as always), underwhelmed,

But now that his CD came out, and I've had a chance to sample the tracks, I have to admit: it is a pretty solid album. Yes, there are some train-wreck moments, and a couple of, what were you thinking? moments, too. And some of the lyrics read more like an entry from an angst-ridden teenager's diary... but overall, it turned out to be a toe-tapper.

It is a little heavy on the "concept" - there is a great deal of artistic framing and structure around what turns out to be a rather generic personal endeavor. Lewis goes out of his way to express himself, with layer upon layer... upon layer of vocal filters, effects and backing vocals. and while the manner in which he delivers his art is unique, he isn't saying anything deep, or original. I'm conflicted about whether this bodes well for his future as an artist, but for now, I'll be indulging in this Audio Daydream.

FORBIDDEN BROADWAY!

Finding this clip on YouTube got me thinking about musicals, and my life...

I'm not shy about my love of musical theater - I grew up listening to my mom's vinyl collection: Evita, Two Gentleman of Verona and Funny Girl. (Was there ever a doubt about my sexuality?) When we were younger, we would go to a major musical, as a family, each year. From Les Miserables, to clunkers like Starlight Express, my parents made sure we were exposed to the theater - even though my dad fell asleep during Les Miz (with a running time of over three hours, who can blame him?), and fell asleep before the show started when we saw Phantom Of the Opera.

Over the years, I took up performing - music, then voice and an attempt at jazz, contemporary and tap - even starring in shows at UCLA, I won a Carol Burnett Musical Comedy Award, and had the chance to work with some amazing people, and see, and star in a slew of shows. I even directed a production of Little Shop of Horrors.

But the thing about non-Equity musicals... you don't usually get to do the newest, blockbuster shows. You end up doing re-imagined, post-modern "high art," or you do "legit" shows. The term "legit" started coming up, in the world of musical theater in the post-Cameron Mackintosh era. Mackintosh was behind the British invasion of mega-shows, like Phantom, Les Miz, Miss Saigon and a ton of other money-makers that were all spectacle, all flash. I mean, what show needs a helicopter landing in the second act? Not Carousel, or Godspell, that's for sure.

But I also had the opportunity - well, OK, it was a regular assignment in the UCLA Musical Theater Workshop, to see shows, dance and other enriching fare. And I saw some amazing, off the beaten path stuff. I also saw some crap. And even though I'm not performing anymore, I carry with me the depth of that journey, with a song in my heart.

MORE THAN A LITTLE SCARY

There's been a story making the rounds, on the internet and TV, about Donald Trump leaving a $10,000 tip at after a recent meal. The anecdote spread like wildfire, making it onto the home page, and broadcast for Fox News.

The only problem? As reported in today's Los Angeles Times, the story is a complete fake. The web site responsible for the fake story, when contacted, posed an interesting question: just how many other fake, or completely inaccurate stories make their way on to Fox's news page and broadcasts?

THAT'S SAYING A MOUTHFULL

Here's to the occasional bout of truth in advertising.

TLC WINTER PROGRAMMING: Hit & Miss

TLC (a.k.a. The Learning Channel), a cable network devoted to... uh, well... I'm not really sure what they're dedicated to, but they're dedicated to it - is launching a couple of new programs to fill the winter void. At the end of each calendar year, most major networks take a prolonged (4 to 6 weeks) break from original programming. And no, I don't count holiday specials as new, or original programming. TLC has decided on two different programs to fill this program gap.

The first, is a tired attempt at a tired format: the talk-show. Fashionably Late With Stacy London features What Not To Wear co-host, Stacy London - a barely tolerable presenter with a less-than original take on one of the deadliest genres. Yes, many people — from sports greats, to radio personalities — have taken on the talk show, only to find their careers in tatters. From Megan Mullaly (from Will & Grace), to Joan Rivers to Magic Johnson, the field of talk shows is strewn with bodies of talented, or at least notable, people. So what makes TLC think Stacy London, with her tired, "this is a party! does everybody need a cocktail?" intros can hold a show on her own? I guess you have to measure the success of the show in relative terms: TLC isn't the most-watched network on basic cable (that goes to USA), so if only a few thousand people turn in, I guess it could be considered a hit.

The other show seems like a breath of fresh air, delivered into two tired genres: reality TV and beauty pageants. Yes, Miss America: Reality Check, with host Michael Urie (one of the only watchable parts of Ugly Betty), TLC will guide us through the run-up to the Miss America Pageant (MAP). The MAP has a trouble past, having once been a major ratings getter, to ending up on the Country Music Channel. But TLC picked up this would-be cultural relic, and with a single move, thrusts it back into the forefront of cultural relevance... maybe. It remains to be seen if this move (and re-shape) will serve only to solidify MAP's cult following, or doom it into further obscurity. I'm hoping Urie, in his hosting duties, will manage to bring both levity and fabulous humor to the fold: something this tired ol' pageant desperately needs.

No need to guess which show I'll be watching, and which one I'll avoid like an STD.

WELL, AT LEAST SHE'S WORKING...

This photo (via Yahoo!) was snapped at a recent TV commercial shoot, starring Lindsay Lohan. She was also seen walking around with an Incredible Hulk, among others.

IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT TO WIN...

Much is being made - in the print and broadcast media - about Oprah's touring with Obama in recent political campaign stops. Obama enjoyed several bumps in the polls lately, and you can either credit them to his "message" getting through, the stumbling of the race leader or the addition of the world's most powerful, famous woman. (I personally don't understand the draw of Obama, and agree with Hillary's questioning: since when did running for president become qualification for being president?)

An upcoming campaign stop featuring Obama and Oprah had to be moved to a stadium, due to, "ticket demand," which has the pundits all clucking. But I wonder how much of the desire to attend the rally actually has to do with the candidate, and his "message". I mean sure, Oprah gets the butts in the seats, and at that point, they can hear the candidate's "message." But is that really how we want to select our next leader? Really?

In the wake of an unjust, illegal war, the trampling of our sacred legal doctrines (wire tapping, anyone) and the recent legal bungling of current president, do we really want to pick our next executive officer via daytime television? I for one, think the doctrine of equal time should apply in this case. If Oprah nets Obama 30 more hours of on-air coverage, then the other candidates should get similar, if not exactly the same amount of coverage.

Or we could just let the woman duped by James Frey tell us who to vote for.

Or not...

TIME FOR YOU TO GO

As much as the current campaigning bores me, I think the United States, no the world, is ready for Bush and company to move on. I can't even muster the energy required to vent my anger over his latest, obvious immoral, unethical and illegal behavior. Another game of, "what did he know, and when did he know it?" for the world to play. And it isn't even a matter of what side of the political idealogical spectrum you fall on - he's screwed up, again... and with world-wide, deadly and long-lasting implications, no less.

Or maybe I'm going about it the wrong way. Maybe I should be singing his praises, as the first mentally retarded person to be a world leader.

WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT?

Like many fans of Sci-Fi Network's Battlestar Galactica, I was excited to see the, "special television event," last week. I'm a big fan of the show, and I don't care who knows it! Call me a geek, a nerd, a loser... whatever, I don't care - I'll stand by my show. (Stephen King listed it as one of his top 10 favorite shows, and it won a Peabody Award, so it can't be all that bad.)

But Battlestar Galactica: Razor turned out to be a colossal disappointment, from start to finish. I don't usually get suckered into believing the hype about anything, but given the ramp-up to this event, I was expecting... well, a little more.

For starters, I don't understand when the story took place - not because I'm dense, or don't understand the time line of events in this imaginary world. No, I was thrown by plot inconsistencies, redundancies and recycled ideas. The "new" elements thrown in - for whatever reason - raised more questions than they answered!

In some cases, the action only served to flush out and expand events from prior seasons. But most of the time, these "flashbacks" only served to complicate the plot, unnecessarily. There isn't much point in going back in time, and beefing up the back-story when the current story (at the end of two hours) doesn't evolve. At all.

I guess I'm just spoiled by shows like The West Wing. Nobody tells a story within a story, within a flashback like Aaron Sorkin and Tommy Schlamme. They knew how to frame a story arch, with opposing physical and emotional landscapes, so that you always knew where you were. But the trouble with Razor is, I just don't understand the point in making a special show like this. It didn't advance the plot in any significant way, and only served to frustrate me. I hope this isn't an indication of how the coming (final) season will unfold.

BAM! ... CANCELED!

According to The Los Angeles Times, The Food Network canceled Emeril's live show Emeril Live (what an original title, no?) after 10 years on the air. The network will continue to carry his prerecorded show, Essence of Emeril, but otherwise, it's curtains for his live act.

I was surprised - but happy - to hear of the demise of this boring food show. I've never cared much for Emeril: his style, presentation and overall approach fail to impress me. Give me Paula's Home Cooking any day... she has a real way about her; a warmth and charm making every meal, and every show, feel like it was made just for you. Granted, she goes a little heavy on the butter, and tends to cook foods I don't eat (ox tail, seafood specialty items), but I could watch her cook for hours.

Additionally, Emeril just doesn't seem that approachable, if you ask me. He mumbles, as he shuffles around the kitchen, and the, suddenly, yells, "BAM!" I would believe he was actually, "taking things up a notch," if his presentation wasn't so rough around the edges, so unimaginative. Even that alcoholic, anorexic, half-baked mess of a host, Sandra Lee (Semi-Homemade With Sandra Lee), seems more human than Emeril.

Don't get me wrong: I'm sure he's a nice guy, or whatever. I'm just happy to see a boring show getting the axe. But knowing my luck, they just fill that time slot with another episode of The Barefoot Contessa (Ina, you're no Sophia Loren), or worse... like that Alton Brown character. I swear, sometimes, he seems mildly retarded.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, Y'ALL

Check out JibJab.com to make your own movies!

MAYBE I WAS ON TO SOMETHING

It isn't a secret that I'm unhappy with Apple Computers at the moment... their recent decision to force all Tiger users to upgrade to Safari 3 was a poor business decision, and a PR stumble.

But, since I was forced, I decided to make the best of a bad situation. I went on the Apple's "support" pages, looking for help from other Mac users. While browsing the pages - and by, "browsing," I mean scouring them for 6 or 7 hours - I noticed that certain "users" were in every forum.

I also noticed that they started each posting in the same manner: "Howdy (user name), and welcome to the forums." They never had anything bad to say about Apple, or its products, and they spent a great deal of energy contradicting those who do. They would claim other people were, "the minority," or say that they weren't having the problems everyone else was.

I thought this last bit would marginalize the person with the problem, and rather dismissive of the postings... so, I "accused" a "user" of being an employee of Apple, Inc. And what do you know, that comment was "edited by (the) host."

So it's come to this? Apple is squashing all forms of dissent and disagreement via stealth activity and dictatorship? I've been a Mac user since the 80s (yes, really), and I never thought I would have anything bad to say about Apple, or its products... but, here we are.

HEY, MISTER DJ

One of my favorite music software companies, Native Instruments, launched a new product this week... BeatportSync, an MP3-based DJ mixing program. The program allows drag and drop, auto beat-match syncing and web-loading... bottom line? Now anyone can be a DJ. (That may or may not be a good thing.)

The best news about this product? Native instruments is offering it for free. For more information, click here.

CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET...

According to the New York Times (article here), the release of the original first two seasons of PBS's landmark series, Sesame Street on DVD is issued with a warning to parents - the show is not suitable for toddlers.

I had to read the headline a second time, out of disbelief. What? I thought. The show designed for preschool kids, the show I grew up on, not suitable for toddlers? Why the hell not?

The cynical New York paper listed many snarky reasons why the show might not fly with youth of today. New York and cynical are redundant, I realize but this article turned jaded sarcasm into a new art form... suggesting the new, squeaky clean world of "Prozac Elmo" was a different world from the original show.

But the article also (thankfully) interviewed producers from the show, who gave more reasonable (but not that reasonable) examples. In one scene, Cookie Monster smokes, the eats a pipe. The producers were afraid they were promoting smoking. A little paranoid, but not the kind of paranoia that leads to unreasonable artistic censorship.

And finally, we move into over-protective parent land: objections to Cookie Monster's cookie-only diet, Oscar the Grouch is too grouchy and the matter of Big Bird hallucinations. Yes, that's what I said: hallucinations. Prior to 1985, Big Bird was the only one on Sesame Street able to see Snuffalupagus, but that was later changed.

I admire the PBS producers attempt to protect children, but wonder if we've crossed into dangerous territory. The issues under debate here are questionable: there are far more important issues impacting our children today. But easy fights like this allow lazy parenting - the responsiblity transfers from parents to the media, yet the decline continues.

I haven't seen those old 1970s episodes since I was in diapers, so I can't really pass judgment. But I will say this strikes me as the first step down a slippery slope.

400th POST

Thanks to the small, handful of people faithfully reading my blog. Here's a little photo collage to celebrate post number 400!

THANKS, BUT NO THANKS

If you own an Apple computer, then you know how easy they make it to keep your security and software up to date. A simple one-click process allows you to assure you're using the most recent, safest software.

It isn't uncommon for Apple to release updates: security, iTunes, Quicktime and other Apple packets are available for download regularly. (Around the release of a new iPod, or the newer iPhones, new versions of iTunes are a weekly event.) So you think, as a life-long Apple customer, I wouldn't have any complaints.

But I do.

In the most recent update, which was labeled as an OS (operating system) update, there was a Trojan horse of sorts. Now, don't get me wrong... there wasn't a virus, but rather a software update (they call it an upgrade but we'll see about that). I call it a Trojan horse because it was buried in the OS download: you have to go to Apple's site, click on "downloads" and search for the exact download title - it shouldn't be this hard to find out what I'm downloading to my computer.

And without asking me if I wanted to migrate from Safari 2 to Version 3, they loaded the newer application for me. Now don't get me wrong... I like Safari. I wish more sites supported it, especially Blogger (bastards). But when Version 3 was released (as a Beta release), I researched the differences, and decided I didn't want to upgrade.

I'm guessing the Beta release of Safari 3 was a dud (based on media reaction, and other Mac users I know), so Apple hoisted - no make that, forced - the release on its faithful users. I'm sure I'll get used to the new bells and whistles at some point. I'm just dispointed with Apple - the Mac platform has always been about personal, unique expression; the computer for the people who don't want a beige box as their personal computer. And now, they're behaving like a big-box tech giant we know and hate (no names, Microsoft).

This definitely affects my willingness to upgrade to Leopard - I don't think I'll upgrade until I absolutely have to.

A SHOW TO DIE FOR

I recently viewed the first four episodes of Showtime's Dexter, the show about a serial killer working as a forensics specialist in Miami. At first glance, this might seem like another attempt to tap into the American fascination with crime-scene dramas... there are so many (and too few are done well).

But the truth about Dexter is far more complex than a simple synopsis paragraph on the Netflix envelope. While not as groundbreaking as HBO's OZ, or as critically acclaimed as The Sopranos (a show I don't really like, or get), Dexter manages to bring a fresh, entertaining take on the world of crime, human instinct and depravity. Brilliantly brought to life by Michael C. Hall (IMDB here), Dexter is a complex, and yet somehow, still sympathetic main character. Despite the obvious character flaws (he kidnaps and then butchers his victims), Dexter manages to be easy to root for.

Michael C. Hall deftly brings layers and dimensions to the character making the ups and downs of the grisly (and sometimes sweet) storyline all that more believable. The supporting cast is outstanding, although not creatively cast - the cast of Dexteri is essentially the cast of HBO's OZ, reassembled. Hall devours every emotional morsel the script and situation call for, and is a little too believable as the serial killer next door. (And he looks great, finally free of the button-down, repressed look he sported on Six Feet Under.) I believe it says something about Hall's abilities and prowess as an actor, seeing the daring, deep roles he tackles.

The show features a voice-over narrative, which I'm not a big fan of - but it isn't the kind that makes the show unwatchable, like many episodes of Sex & The City. The show skillfully goes behind the masks we all wear in our day to day lives, and beneath the cool, calm exteriors protecting us and offering us the appearance of civility. I also feel the need to applaud the tasteful manner in which the guts and gore appear in the show. In the world of movies like Hostel and the Saw franchise, it would be easy (an unimaginative) to simply present a feast of blood and destruction. Instead, Dexter delicately and tastefully frames the violence and gore in a realistic, but never dry manner.

PROJECT JACK

If you missed this week's premiere of Project Runway, Season Four... first of all, what's wrong with you? Secondly, you missed out on TV's newest, hottest hunk, Jack Mackenroth. This 38 year old New Yorker has the looks, the bod (did you see him in his undies? those abs?), the smile and most of all, the talent. You can watch his first Bravo interview video here. But a simple scan of the net turned up some pretty interesting factoids about this hot hunk...

*he's a competitive swimmer (in the gay games - he was reported to be a late bloomer, and late to athleticism)

*he's allergic to bananas, avocado and latex (although I've heard a number of gay men claim to be allergic to laytex)

*his sister say Jack used to steal her Barbie dolls when they were younger (no shocker in that confession)

*his MySpace profile lists supermodel Janice Dickinson as one of his role models... but he later claims he was only joking when he said that (the rest of the season will determine just how much of a joke that was)

*he loves 80s music and style (no big surprise here, considering his age)


I'm looking forward to the rest of the season... and not just on the off chance they'll show Jack in his chonnies again. I never thought there would be any part of Project Runway I like more than Tim Gunn, but then along cam Jack.