SORRY...

No time or energy to post today, I've got to make a run to LAX.

DR WHO SEASON 4 TRAILER

From BBC, via You Tube, here is the Season 4 official trailer:

CLAY AIKEN IS AT IT AGAIN

And by it, I mean sh!t, of course. Clay Aiken is offering a new "service" on his web site: send your mother a Mother's Day greeting from the Fat & Dyed One Himself. But it isn't a personal message - the technology is available, just check out the site from Nip/Tuck. Clay is just phoning it in, again.

P.S. Nice pea-soup/diarrhea background color on the web page.

ROSE TYLER RETURNS TO DR. WHO!

Sci Fi nerds everywhere rejoiced Friday night, during the last 30 seconds of Dr.Who. It would seem, Rose Tyler, Dr. Who's sidekick for seasons one and two, somehow came back from the dead. Adding to the emotional drama of the moment, playing in the background, was the song that played when she "died." (Only true Who fans will know what I mean.) I listed the song as one of my tunes back in January (post here). Here is the clip (via You Tube):



Yes, somehow, she's back. And I can't wait to find out what comes next.

APRIL SPAM

Here are some real SPAM email from my Yahoo! account:

Can I take Viagra if I suffer from diabetes? Yes, you can.
Uh, did you need me for this conversation?

Classsy Naked Chick With Huge T!ts
Classy and naked are two words I don't usually associate with each other... and if I did, I would at least spell them correctly.

Ever wanted to ejaculate 5 times more?
Good lord, no.

FW : my Pen1s is bigger than rekgcfdh
First of all, I never read forwards. Secondly, I would be more concerned if I knew what rekgcfdh was, and whether youre Pen1s should be bigger or smaller than one.

How BIG can I get?
Depends on how much fast food you eat, versus how much exercise you get.

Juan we have great plans for Memorial Day on the 28th
That's nice, but Memorial Day is on the 26th this year.

Redhead tranny shows her c*ck
Eww... a ginger?

Vegetarians not welcome. Choke a bitch with my big black c*ck.
Why no vegetarians? Don't they deserve access to porn too? And do you get to choose the bitch choked with your big black c*ck, or do I get to choose?

Two best of friend babes sharing a hard d!ck
Well... at least they're sharing!

I can have sex all night long, from Ronda Scruggs
Well, good for you and Ronda!

I (HEART) NEW BLOGS

I've found a bunch of new music blogs to troll (thanks, Donnie). Among my favorites are:

The Remix Archive (site here)
Geared more towards Top 40, Pop Remixes and a little heavy on the Britney Spears

Digital Eargasm (site here)
Strictly for the hardcore, great for the ol'skool stuff

Remix Land (site here)
A little more random mix of material, but worth browsing

Be warned: both Digital Eargasm and Remix Land have tracks that start playing, all on their own, once you navigate to the site. I absolutely hate it when sites do this, but I'm willing to overlook it these cases... for now. (The least they could do is switch the tracks up once in a while, no?)

ONE ROCK&ROLL TOO MANY

SAY WHAT?

While posting a comment about the latest Fox & The City podcast (site here), the secure word generator spit this out:

ON SECOND THOUGHT...

After listening to Hard Candy a few more times (and "Heartbeat" a bunch more), I have to refine my review of the album just slightly: After hearing several references to dance floors, like, "on any given night, catch me on the floor, working up a sweat..."

Really, Madonna? At nearly 50, with two children, you're still out in the club, working up a sweat?

First of all, the amount of Human Growth Hormone you've taken to rock your body (leaving your face with that hard look) would directly affect how easily you sweat, and the amount you sweat.

Secondly... I've been out dancing in the past year... didn't see you.

(But I still like the song.)

ALBUM REVIEW: "Hard Candy"

Unlike listening to Björk, which is a layered experience, requiring multiple listens to enjoy and understand the music, listening to Madonna has always been an immediately emotional, gut reaction experience: I either love it, or I can live without it.

My initial response to Madonna's 11th studio album, Hard Candy was to move the majority of the tracks to my USB back-up drive, where I store digital tracks I don't want to lose, but won't be listening to any time soon.

As a whole, this album reminds me of earlier work like Bedtime Stories and Erotica. There are plenty of gems, for the die-hard Madonna fans, but few radio-friendly tunes. More an exploration of layers, textures and lyrical wit than a traditional pop album, Hard Candy exposes Madonna at her weakest: strip away the ABBA samples, clever hooks and controversial videos, and there isn't much art at the center of her work.

Hard Candy, like Bedtime Stories and Erotica, are thematic departures, where Madonna depends on technology and slick production to carry the theme(s) and original thoughts (of which there are very few). Unlike Ray of Light, where she used the medium to explore a deeper, more personal level of artistic expression, Candy stays teaspoon-deep...

Which is not to say Hard Candy isn't a tasty little gem. But like any treat, it is better to partake of Madonna's sweets in small doses. Standout tracks (aside from the infectious 4 Minutes), include:

Devil Wouldn't Recognize You - A mid-tempo, break(ish) romp with an easy melody, Madonna stays in her vocal comfort zone for this one, but manages to show a little depth and range with the lyrics and arrangement

Miles Away - This one would have been more at home on Music, with its disco cowboy groove, but serves to brighten up this otherwise dull album with its solid, sing-a-long chorus

Heartbeat - Probably my favorite track on the album (after 4 Minutes, but a close second, and that may change, with repeated listening), this one has the type of solid pop hooks we've all come to love from Madonna

Voices - A Justin Timberlake track, but still manages to be enjoyable. It seems to bridge the mood and sound of her last album (Confessions On A Dance Floor) with the new one. I could have done without JT's vocals on this one, but something needed to break up the monotony of the vocals on this album, so why not?

Overall: Only but the whole album if you're a die-hard fan. (The iTunes Deluxe package of this album offers a bonus track if you pre-order, I wasn't able to get my hands on this one.) If you're an on-again, off-again Madge fan, wait until the album comes out next week, go on to iTunes, and sample each track before downloading. While Hard Candy is unlikely to dethrone Mariah Carey's new E=MC2, it is an album worth checking out.

IT'S AN HONOR JUST TO BE NOMINATED

I've been nominated for inclusion in the Biltmore Who's Who Directory (site here) for my, "current standing as well as criteria from executive and professional backgrounds," and my, "background." I was selected to represent my local community...

Now there are a few problems with this. Number one: I haven't worked at the executive levels of any business in three or four years. Secondly: I've been a commuter for the last seven years - I haven't been employed in the community I live in since the turn of the decade.

So how was I nominated for this award? What (employer) is still listing me as a minority executive employee to tout their own "diversity" in employment?

I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet - I have until May 21 to respond to this "honor."

YOU GO, GIRL!

Everyone said she was done-for, but (once again) she proved them wrong: Hillary trounced Obama in Penn. by a comfortable margin. When Obama beat Hillary, in previous contests, by this same exact margin, the pundits declared the race to be over; they said Hillary was done for, after such a sound defeat.

But turn on the TV today, open a newspaper or go on the web, and the majority of news sources are playing down Hillary's clear victory, and saying she should drop out, or how she still can't win. Obama apologists on TV are saying this is not a mandate; that this loss is no big deal, that "overall" he's still ahead. Pro-Obama bloggers tout his ability to "transcend" race when he speaks about race, but when she talks about race, she's "racist." What's with the double standard, America?

The only balanced coverage so far was MSNBC (quoting a newspaper article), saying, "Hillary won't lose, and Obama can't win... why can't he close the deal?" Other than that, Hillary's win is greeted with gloom and doom stories about her campaign.

I know better than to listen to pundits, or take what I read in the paper too seriously. I mean, they've got me all wrong: I'm a Latino male, under 40, with a college degree (working towards a second, thank you very much), and I support Hillary. According to the polls, I don't exist. All the others in my group are "die-hard" Obama fans...

But hey, it ain't over 'till it's over.

For a less serious picture of Hillary, click here.

GEE, THANKS, JOE

There is a sign outside my local Trader Joe's. It says, "Stop! Did you remember your Trader Joe's shopping bags?" It is another one of those goofy, hand-painted signs Trader Joe's seems to slap up everywhere. But this one is supposed to be a reminder saving Mother Earth. The problem is, what the sign implies isn't very eco-friendly. I never remember my Trader Joe's bag. (I have no idea where it is. I think I gave mine to my dad.) But if I did know where it was, the sign almost implores me to turn around, drive home (wasting gas and releasing more carbon and pollution) and get my bags.

Trader Joe's has a great public image. I personally can't stand the place, or most of the morons who shop there. But they have some wicked awesome Indian sauces and easy-prep ethnic foods. The crowds are always a little hippy-dippy, meats yuppie wannabes, and they have no sense of personal space. I actually became stuck, during my last visit, because someone abandoned their shopping cart in the middle of the isle, and two other customers planted their carts on either side of that cart... and then the stock boy started stocking the other end of the aisle, leaving huge boxes blocking the way out.

So, no, Joe... I didn't remember my bag. But your customers obviously forgot their heads, and anything resembling common sense or respect for those shopping around them.

HILLARY vs BARRACK: RAW

Last night on WWE (the highest rated show on cable), the three candidates for president made their cases to the WWE Fan Nation. (And yes, I watched.) They were all embarrassing. But the most shame-free part was the Hillary and Barrack look-a-likes wrestling match:



I won't tell you how it ends. But it is worth watching. But do it quick, before someone takes the clip down.

HERE COMES LORRAINE AGAIN...

One of the tracks I stumbled across recently is a bootleg remix of the Eurythmics' Here Comes The Rain Again. (It is credited to the Freemasons, but I cannot confirm it.) Listening to this souped-up version of the track, all I can think about is what a great song the original is, and how well it is standing the test of time.

OMG! I'M THURROUNDED!

I had to run a couple of errands after lunch today, one of which involved a trip to my local hardware store. Faced with the choice between Lowe's and Home Depot, I chose Lowe's. I'm not a fan of big box stores, and the crowd at Home Depot is a little more homemade meth - and although a little pricier, I like Lowe's because the staff is friendly and knowledgeable, and the environment just feels a little nicer (but not by much).

I don't live in boystown (WeHo) anymore, so when my gaydar starts tingling these days, it means something. It was just a couple of the register jockeys (in the return department, no less), but we exchanged knowing glances, and went about our separate ways. I've run into queens around town - that cute couple at Target, that tragic, flaming queen with the horrible dye-job in customer service (also at Target), and tons of lesbians. In fact, every time I see a gay pride, or Human Rights sticker on a car around town, I don't get excited anymore, mostly cause it always turns out to be a lesbian.

But today, when I left Lowe's, turning on to the main drag outside the mall, I heard a familiar thumpa-thumpa from the car next to me. No, not just the car next to me: the black, convertible roadster next to me. The driver, although cute, was right out of an old, gay movie stereotype: bleach blond hair, polo shirt (collar up) and white-rimmed sunglasses. No, I'm not making this up. I laughed, drove on, and felt just a little bit more at home, in my home town.

OK, NOW YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR

I must admit, I'm one of those people slowly losing faith in Hillary. She's trying to hard, and it isn't working. I'm not pleased with the way the media crowned Obama as the Messiah, and are so tough on Hillary... but this photo (from Boomtacular) sums up the way I feel about Hillary's efforts as of late.

DEADLIEST CATCH

I love Discovery Channel's Deadliest Catch. I don't know what it is that makes this show so compelling, but it rocks. (I have to admit a sort of sick sort of fascination with the episodes with a man overboard. Not the ones where people die, but the ones where the guy falls over and gets rescued.) As a number of major TV shows return from the writers strike, I find I'm less and less enchanted with big network television, and more and more interested in what would be considered niche programming, like Deadliest Catch. This is not to be confused with America's Deadliest Season; another version of the same sort of show.

There's something to be said for Mike Rowe's narration of Catch (I've got a dirty job for you, Mike... hee hee hee), and Catch just has that edge. I have no idea what the relationship of these two, similarly themed shows is... they seem identical in many ways, and a simple Google search of both terms turns up the same set of results. And that horrible Wikipedia (democratic, open, free, my ass!) doesn't shed much light on the subject either.

The one thought running through my head, every time I watch Deadliest Catch: Do we, as a society, really eat that much crab? I guess so.

THE LAST BATTLESTAR SUPPER

Hidden in this recreation of The Last Supper are clues to the final season of Battlestar Galactica.
(Click to enlarge photo.)

VIVA STEREOTYPES!

I have to admit, I love BH1's new show, Viva Hollywood: The Search For El Numero Uno Novella Star. (No, that's not a typo, I wrote BH1, since this is a post all about Latinos, and you know how they e-switch Bs for Vs.) I caught the first episode of this show, and i fell in love. And I mean, love.

Never mind the presence of over the hill star, Maria Conchita Gordita Taco Bell. Never mind the fact that not a single one of these people can act, and not one of them deserves to be on a tela novella (sp?). No, I love this show, in all its tacky, stereotyping glory.

I LOVE...

wii Golf. No, I'm not a Johnny-Come-Lately. I'm just not big on video games. My cousin recently picked one of those wii things up, and I fell in love with the golf game. I wish there was a way to have more of a variety of courses, but I love it, nonetheless.

ALWAYS GOOD ADVICE...

'RUNWAY' ON THE RUN?

Several media sources report Lifetime Networks - the network for women (and their gay male friends) - scored a major coup over NBC/Universal this week. Bravo's hit TV show... no, make that cable's highest rated reality show, Project Runway, will no longer air on Bravo, starting this fall.

Now, these reports are mildly misleading, in that Bravo will air the fifth incarnation of the runway show during the summer, starting in mid-July. So, for now, Project Runway will remain on Bravo. But the next, sixth "season" is slate to go into production for Lifetime, in the fall.

Usually (and I stress the usually part), a season runs for anywhere from 18-22 episodes (less for reality), and run once a year. Some shows, like major network shows, straddle two calendar years, but shows like Project Runway tend to have shortened runs, only appearing once a year.

The changing of the guards, or stations, as it were, means Runway will have multiple seasons in one year. Thus far, the change of networks is under fire, with a lawsuit from NBC/Universal. No word on what the grounds of lawsuit are, but given the volatile nature of the TV world, combined with NBC/U's loosing streak since the 1990s, this fight will be ugly. And I mean ugly.

We'll just have to watch what happens...

500th POST

Thanks to the small, yet faithful crowd reading and commenting on this blog.

I'M ALL FOR LISTS, BUT...

Some lists are just, well... mean. A while back, Maxim magazine listed The Five Ugliest Women on its web site. Usually, men's magazines put together lists like, "The 40 Hottest Women Under 40," or the like. But in this instance, Maxim (which has always been a little iffy, in my book) went over the line of good taste...

Which is what makes it so sinfully, delicious, I think. When I worked at Men and Freshmen we were always putting together lists. Not like the lists at our sister magazine, Unzipped, or our parent' company's "flagship" magazines, Out or the Advocate... no, our lists were geared at our readers. Lists included things like, "Seven New Year's Resolutions We've Already Broken," and "Courses We Wish They Offered In College," - which included 'How To Top (Or Just Act Like One)' - none of these lists I wrote and edited were anywhere near what I would call good taste... so, in that spirit, here are Maxim magazine's Five Ugliest Women:

Sarah Jessica Parker

I'm not a huge fan of Sex & The City - Carrie is too whiny, and too much of a self-destructive victim for my tastes, I have to admit to watching a bunch of episodes on TBS. And while I think SJP isn't ugly, I've pretty much never seen her in an outfit I liked, so she's earned a spot on this list, if you ask me.

Amy Winehouse
I love me some Amy Wino... but she is pretty toe-up. 'Nuff said.

Sandra Oh
I first saw Miss Oh when she made a cameo on Popular (I own both season box sets, bitches), and I loved her as a lesbian in that Tuscan movie... but since ascending to the heights of Hollywood, she gave into the anorexic look most actresses on that show have. She makes the list just for being on that lame show, as far as I'm concerned.

Madonna
This one is debatable. She's never been a looker, but managed to really work with what she's got. (See previous post about here image here.) But as she ages, she's looking rougher and rougher. I understand why the unimaginative, immature editors at Maxim would be afraid of an older, powerful woman like her, so we'll give them this one.

Britney Spears
I know there have been tons of stories about her mental health, but there's only one reason why a cute, all-American girl turns into a bag lady... drugs. Which would explain the way she's been looking for the past few years.

WAY TO BE ORIGINAL, BRAVO

I'll admit I've enjoyed Make Me A Supermodel, on Bravo, from time to time. I found the format fresh, and the weekly voting sessions a nice change from other reality shows. Instead of recording all the episodes at once, and airing them months later, this show held its vote on Thursday, kicked someone off on Friday, and started filming the next week's episode that same day. (American Idol does something similar, recording "live" episodes, but the format of the show - performances recorded all at once - lends itself to this weekly, live(ish) format. Model, on the other hand required several days of filming and editing before an episode was ready to air.)

I thought Bravo was finally on to something: reality programming, in near-real time. Wow, I thought, Bravo really stepped it up a notch with this show.

Boy, was I wrong.

It turns out, a show with the same exact name and format already ran in the U.K. In fact, once the American version concluded, Bravo ran a marathon of the British version. So much for original. Much like its parent network's new fall schedule (NBC, which is running not one, but four "adaptations" of previously produced shows), Bravo is suffering from a complete lack of originality.

Bravo: watch what happens, if you haven't seen the original version of the program they are ripping off.

EVERYDAY IS LIKE...

This morning, I woke up, and clicked a random tune on iTunes... Everyday Is Like Sunday by Morrissey came up, setting the tone for another beautiful Sunday morning; hit the treadmill, down some b'fast and just lounge, soaking life up.

FOUR SHOTS OF FOUR MINUTES

Here are four screencaps from the new Madonna video, 4 Minutes featuring Justin Timberlake and Timbaland.

NONE OF THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE...

and it will never happen again. After a year of waiting, and three years of watching, Battlestar Galactica begins the long road home... tonight.

RANDOM QUESTION:

Do you sniff your clothes before you sort them, when doing laundry?

To see another set of hilarious images I almost used for this post, click here.

CRUSH OF THE MONTH: April

My crush of the month for April are the men of Battlestar Galactica. No matter what kind of guy you're in to, BSG has some sort of tasty man candy for you to enjoy... and most of them can act, too. (Actually, they all can. It is a shame many of these actors haven't seen much work outside this show, as they are so talented.) I've singled three men out for extra attention: the actors portraying Lee "Apollo" Adama, Karl "Heilo" Agathon and Sam Anders (shown in order, below).

For additional pictures of the cast of BSG, including an extra yummy one of Anders, click here.

NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE MORE TOWELS...

STEP WHAT UP, BRAVO?

If you watch TV - even only a handful of select shows, here and there - you're probably aware of Bravo TV. The Bravo TV network is one of the cable networks in the NBC - Universal family. It started out, before the shows about housewives and haircuts, as a network devoted to the performing arts... but now, it is the "high end," or, "high concept," reality show network.

Along with shows like Project Runway, Top Chef and The Real Housewives of Orange County, there are a number of new, largely contest-based reality shows. The newest, is a dance competition called, Step It Up And Dance, hosted by Elizabeth Berkley.

Bravo heavily promos the show on all of the NBC - Universal networks, in the hopes of driving up viewer interest. But two main thoughts creep in to my head when I see the commercials for SIU&D:

1. Another dance show? Really??? Is this the best you could come up with? Maybe you should step your game up, Bravo, and try and come up with something original. At least Fox, when they steal an idea, offers a twist: when ABC found viewer ratings gold with Dancing With The Stars, Fox rolled out Skating With The Stars. While neither show boasts actual "stars" on its cast, at least the second, ripoff show tried to aim for something new and interesting. What, exactly, is Bravo aiming for in rolling this show out?

2. Would it kill you to cast some good looking contestants, Bravo? I mean, this isn't Project Runway, where personal appearance doesn't factor in to the actual content of the contest. Dancers are cast for their talent and their looks. What's with the uggos? Have you seen Manuel, the weirdo? And while we're on this subject, what's with casting the guys who just have to brag about how they are straight in an all-gay field? Internalize your homophobia much, Bravo programmers? I guess not, as your self-hating homo tendencies now rise to the surface of casting.

I know which of these two concerns is the more serious... but if you're going to stuff bland, seen-it-before programs down our throats, how about a little eye candy to go with it?

EXCLUSIVE SNEEK AT NEW "STAR TREK"

These photos were sent to me, from one of the shoots for JJ Abrams' new movie, Star Trek. It appears to be the set for Starfleet Academy, with tons of blue screen special effects (on campus at CSUN). I must admit, I'm not a fan of Abrams' work, but I'm more and more curious to see this film.