THE SOPRANOS QUIZ

Think you know HBO's most famous family? Take this quiz, from the BRI. (Answers to the quiz are available here.)

1. Creator David Chase wanted to call the show The Sopranos, but HBO originally said no. Why?
a) Executives from HBO thought Soprano sounded Greek, not Italian. Who would want to watch a show about Greek mobsters?
b) It wasn't "authentic enough." They suggested The Fratiannos, but backed away when Jimmy "The Weasel" Fratianno's family threatened to sue.
c) They were afraid the viewers would think the show was about opera singers. They suggested Family Guy, but backed away when Fox debuted a show with that name.

2. Which of the following other titles were also considered before HBO finally gave in?
a) Red Sauce
b) Made In New Jersey
c) The Tony Files
d) All of the above

3. How did James Gandolfini (a.k.a. Tony Soprano) take up acting?
a) "I was shy in high school. I thought acting would be a great way to meet girls. It was."
b) "I didn't want a job where I had to work in an office all day."
c) "I got tired of working for the phone company. It was either acting or singing, so I flipped a coin. It came up heads—acting."
d) "A friend took me to an acting class, and I was scared to death. That made me really mad, so I stayed. I don't know why."

4. Who said, "Hit them over the head with a baseball bat, and they come around," and, "I'm come come back here and carve my initials in your forehead. You better show me the respect I deserve!"
a) Jamie-Lyn Sigler (Meadow Soprano) said it to David Chase, when he refused to give her a raise.
b) Tony Sirico, the actor who plays Paulie Wlanuts, who really was a gangster in the 1970s. He made the threats during a confrontation with a discotheque owner.
c) Dominic Chianese, who plays Uncle Junior, told stories to David Chase about his uncle, who though the only way to get respect from restaurant workers was to threaten them.
d) Chase heard Nancy Marchand (Livia Soprano) say it to her husband on the phone, so he used it in episode 6, when Tony threatens Anthony Jr.'s football coach.

5. What is a goomah?
a) The same as a borgata—a crime family
b) The same as a jamook—an idiot or a loser
c) The same as a comare—a mobster's mistress
d) The same as a mannagge—a war with another clan or family.

6. What was one of the challeneges Michael Imperioli had to overcome to play Tony Soprano's nephew, Christopher Moltisanti?
a) Learning how to drive.
b) Learning how to act. He'd done a few small rolls before, but never studied the craft.
c) Overcoming his stutter.
d) The Jersey accent. He was raised in North Dakota.

7. What is an "executive game"?
a) A financial scam that cheats wealthy investors by selling them stock in fake companies.
b) An exclusive, high-stakes poker game for celebrities and rich people.
c) A code name for a sporting event that has been fixed in advance by paying key players to lose.
d) The title of episode 12, where Tony wants to join a private country club but can't because golf is an, "executive game" and he's the "wrong kind of executive."

For the answers to this quiz, click here.

WHO DAT IS?

I excited whenever people comment on my blog. I say excited because it happens so rarely. But when people do comment, it is nice to know who they are. I've allowed anonymous comments to be posted, but you can also post comments via Google accounts and Blogger accounts. (If you don't know how to get one of those accounts, go to Google, and sign up for a free email account.)

I welcome all forms of feedback. But I also like to read other people's blogs, and see their personal websites. So if you're gonna comment, let me know who you ams.

NERD ALERT: iPHONE

I made the mistake of going to the Old Navy at the Northridge mall this afternoon. (What can I say, I needed some cute, cheap summer T's, and Old Navy is usually the best bet for this.) I say it was a mistake because it is right next to the Apple Store...

Today was also the day Apple's new iPhone was released. There was a line down the length of the mall, out the door, and down the side. And while it didn't get in my way, I couldn't help but wonder what all the fuss was about. I mean, I have an iPod, and a web-ready phone. Does anyone really need an iPod, that web browses and makes calls... and costs $650 before service fees and charges. I especially wonder about the wisdom of purchasing this item, when Apple has already announced an "upgrade" to the phone... but announced it before it came out. There's no doubt in my mind that a cheaper, better version of this product will be released in the next year... so I guess these people were waiting in line just to have it first. Which kind of makes me wonder if this product is really worth having at all.

[These images are taken from various web sites, featuring the lines outside the NYC store.]

THERE ARE NO WORDS...

Sorry for all the video posts this week. But it's hot, and I don't feel like sitting in front of the computer for very long. (This one is pretty taste-free, though... you gotta admit it.)

I HAVE TO SIDE WITH FOX NEWS ON THIS ONE

Yes, I know those are words no one thought I'd ever say... especially me. But here goes:

The Los Angeles Times this morning had an entertainment op-ed piece about the upcoming Democratic Presidential Debate (sponsored by the Black Congressional Caucus and Fox News). More to the point, the article was about how the three leading Democratic Party candidates are boycotting the event. They claim — and with good cause — that the channel presenting is unfairly bashes them, and is largely a tool or mouthpiece for their opponents.

No one can deny that Fox News gives the Dems are hard time. (And they deserve it, sometimes.) Hillary, Obama and Edwards all have a point: Fox news is anything but fair and balanced. But I wonder if the boycott accomplishes the things they think it will. Of all the demographics out there, I would think the Fox folks are the ones most in need of a little information on the Democratic candidates. And as for the candidates, what better way to get their message out to the people — all people — than a debate on a channel they wouldn't otherwise have open access to?

(On a side note, I find it laughable that Obama's African American supporters are backing him up on this one. I mean, it's co-sponsored by the Black caucus, and he bailed on them, the moment things got tough. What's he gonna be like in, oh I don't know... an international incident?!)

The bottom line: I can't support the boycott of the Fox News debate for one simple reason. Our country needs someone who can rise above the petty fights in the political realm, and really get down to problem solving: the environment, the war, the state of education and a long list of other issues all go way up on the list; they go way above the "problem" of bias in media.

FOX NEWS: FAIR, BALANCED AND GAY?

This video is from Fox News, and is work-safe.

I'M A LITTLE LAD...

If you'd like to learn how to do this dance, simply click here for a lesson from the Berries & Cream boy himself.

BLUE ESTA AQUI!

Look why I made, over at BecomeAnM&M.com! It's a pretty cool site. You'd never guess by the commercial, but there are a ton of options, when designing your own M&M character. And your M&M can star in its own movie, take pictures at the photo studio, you can make it into a wallpaper for your computer or mobile phone and even download the art (as a png file) for anything else you want.

And I mean anything! There are some unusual options for clothing an accessories. I'm guessing it is only a matter of time before someone does something dirty with these things. (Hint to any dirty birdies out there: download the file as a png, convert it to a PSD with layers, and you can make many different file forms from there.) But even if you are not a dirty birdie, it is a ton of fun, playing with the options on the site, and hitting, "randomize" to see what comes up.

Now as for eating M&Ms, I'm more of a peanut kind of guy. Although, I've always wanted to try the peanut butter ones...

MILLION DOLLAR LESSON

In a previous post, I wrote about my disgust for Bravo's Million Dollar Listing. The show was a celebration of the worst of Los Angeles: greed, self-indulgence and overweight, ugly people overcompensating for their shortcomings with conspicuous consumption. (Not that I have anything against overweight, ugly people... but I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly!)

I remember that VH1 had a real estate reality program airing just after Bravo's, but I didn't watch. I figured one lame show was as good as another. But, as it turns out, I wasn't correct in my assumption. I watched an episode of Really Rich Real Estate recently, and it was great!

It had everything Million Dollar Listing lacked: hot real estate, celebrities, diva home owners and plenty of down-and-dirty deals. It was actually fun to watch, unlike Bravo's lame attempt. Now, I'm not saying I'm into real estate, or that I'm going to waste any more time watching either of these shows. There are plenty of other great shows I want to see, and real estate really isn't on the top of my list of personal interest. (I mean, did you see the last episode of My Life On the D-List?)

I'm glad I gave VH1's show a chance, despite the prejudices formed by Million Dollar Listings. It's an important reminder about assumptions and junk.

Happy watching!

UH, SELL OUT MUCH?

I used to work for the Los Angeles Independent Film Festival, now, the Los Angeles Film Festival. At first, the name change didn't really mean much. Then, year by year, they began killing the very spirit of the festival — partly out of a desire to go "international," but mostly out of a desire to get bigger sponsors and thus, turn a profit.

Now, don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with being profit-minded; nothing at all. The Sundance Film Festival, also another festival I was associated with (for three years) took nearly two decades before it saw a profit. And that's a pretty major festival, when it comes to indie films. The joke used to be: The L.A. Independent Film Festival is the third most important festival in North America - just ask anyone who works there. My point is that no matter how enthusiastic we were, or how great our films were, there was no way we'd ever be as important (or rich) as the folks over at Sundance.

Over the past seven years, the LA Film Fest has gone from showing amazing films like George Washington, Queen of the Whole Wide World, Attraction and Keep the River On Your Right: A Modern Cannibal Tale. All of these are modern, indie classics. From shorts to docs, the LA Film Fest used to have it all. On year, the special series of films focused on new horror films, like this one about a girl who is bitten by a werewolf on the same day she gets her first period. (It was an awesome, scary and even funny flick.) This year's special programs include "audience favorites" like Shall We Dance and A Christmas Story. (The festival is in on now, by the way.)

But the biggest, most upsetting change is that the festival, this year, opened with Transformers. A far cry from it's days as the third most important film festival in North America.

ARE YOU THERE VODKA? IT'S ME, CHELSEA

If you've read my blog in the past, you know I have issues with gender inequality in stand-up comedy... especially when it comes to online and prime-time content on Comedy Central. It isn't often that I get to highlight female comedians — not for lack of women doing stand-up, but because men seem to get all the exposure, and thus, all the good jobs. Look at at poor ol' Wanda Sykes: funny as hell, but still playing second fiddle to white male comedians. (But that won't stop me from seeing Evan Almighty.)

But today is one of those lucky days when I have some great news about a great female comedian: Chelsea Handler. (The title of this post is also the title of her new book, out next Spring. Her first book is called My Horizontal Life.) She's a regular on the E! Network, and last year, they even gave her a sketch show, The Chelsea Handler Show. The show did pretty well (without the dumb antics of newer E! shows like Sunset Tan), but has yet to return. Until now.

It's been announced that Chelsea will return to TV next month, with a daily, late-night show. It's going to be part sketch comedy, part stand-up and all Chelsea. A warning to the faint-of-heart: her comedy is rough and tumble, no-holds fighting dirty. A recent sketch she taped for her new show had her following around a paparazzi all day, heckling stars. The "star" she ended up with? Paris Hilton's fatty, greasy friend, the one who called Lindsay Lohan a "fire crotch." (It's not important to know his name, he's a nobody.) Chelsea followed him to the Ivy, a Hollywood hot-spot, chanting, "fire crotch!"

It's funnier than it sounds... just wait 'til next month when it airs.

HOMOPHOBIA: The Movie!

There are several movies I'm looking forward to seeing this summer. Movies like Waitress, or Evan Almighty. Movies that appeal to me, for one reason or another.

And every so often, a movie comes along that disturbs me on a deeply profound level. This time, the movie is I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry — it's a movie that will have straight men everywhere laughing at stereotypes of homosexual men. I don't have to see more than a few minutes of the trailer footage to know that this movie isn't the progressive men's movie it is pretending to be. I'm sure the lead characters will learn some "lesson" at the end — but I cannot imagine what that lesson will be.

You see, the premise of the movie is that a single father needs better health benefits... or 401k, or something. I don't know for sure. I mean, I went to the movie's website, but while the more complex elements of the site (flash movie animation, etc.) were loading, they make you watch a little cartoon of Adam Sandler and the fat guy from King of Queens skipping in circles, arm in arm. Bitches, please.

Anyway, the movie centers around a couple of straight guys who pretend to be gay, and get married for the benefits. Or 401k, or whatever. And hilarity ensues. Or not. I have no idea. I have no intention of encouraging @sshole movie makers like the bungholes who thunk this one.

(JUST A) LITTLE BIT MORE

If you've seen the last round of TV ads for Target, you've heard (Just A) Little Bit More by Jamie Lidell. It's a pretty funky jam (not really running music, for those of you who jog). And when I say funky, I mean toe-jam, old gym sock, crusty undies funky. (Attention white people: those are all positive descriptors when it comes to the level of funk in one's music.)

I felt the need to single out Mr. Lidell (who you can learn more about here, at his website) because he's white. And I mean, nerdy white (see photos above). I'm not saying white people can't be funky... they can. I just think we make such a big deal about white artists like Eminem and Robin Thicke (who was on Oprah, not once, but twice) and elevate them to levels of amazing success and power, when all they've done is re appropriate cultural elements usually associated with people of color. But not Jamie Lidell. He's funky in his own special way, and that derserves a little bit more: more attention, more praise and more fans.

You can get his music on iTunes, so get on, people!

HOW ABOUT SOME SPAM?

The following are actual email subjects sent to my Yahoo! inbox:

1. Financing Approved For Women – Ladies: Get approved with bad credit!
Am I right, ladies? (You have to listen to the PNSexplosion podcast to get this one).

2. Insane Rich Guy, “I honestly was dared to do this today”
Fascinating... but insane people (and rich people it seems), cannot be believed, so adding the word, "honestly" doesn't bode well. And if you're insane, it probably wasn't hard to get you to take on a dare

3. Smoking pornstar flower tucci butt poked by a large hard shaft
I have no idea what that means, but if Flower Tucci looks anything like Stanley Tucci, I'm not interested.
4. Zippersparks turn dreams into dollars
Will I get more money for lucid dreams?

5. All-expenses-paid trip: Here are your 2 Oprah Winfrey show tickets!
Yeah, right. (But I was tempted to open this one.)

6. Beef only from cattle younger than 21 months old if Japan lifts its ban.
Beef by email? No, really?

7. A question for you - Anna Nicole or Marilyn?
Neither? I mean, they're both pushing up daisies now...

8. Don't be a loser. Be a real man. Use Soft Cialis.
I don't know much about ED-drugs, by wouldn't you want to avoid naming one "soft"?

9. Best whores in your city, Zippersparks
Dude, if you saw the general population here, you'd think twice about that offer.

10. arnuad tam glass tiny titty te- ens getting *fzCked and jizzed on bed
I couldn't have set it better myself!

P'ASS ME A P'IECE

I've become more sensitive and aware of the media's effects on appearance as I grow older, and I've noticed a few things:

1. Yes, the media is sending us, the public at large, mixed messages. One side tells us to conform to an unrealistic image/body standard. The other side tells us to buy whatever they put before us, no questions asked.

2. We're quick to blame the mass media sources when this double standards weigh us down... literally. There's no doubt the obesity epidemic can be pinned on the fast food industry. But we're the ones eating all that crap. Take Pizza Hut's P'zone: just half of a cheese P'zone is 610 calories, with 23 grams of fat. A pepperoni, 840 calories, with 43 grams of fat. And that's only if you eat half! (I picked this item because of the half a dozen fast food items on TV this evening, this was this nutritional info was the easiest to find.)

But that P'zone does look tasty...

IT'S RAINING 300 MEN

HOMOS FOR HILLARY

For now, I'm behind Senator Clinton... I'll overlook the fact that her official campaign song is a Celine Dion song (I can't stand the woman). I don't think Bareback-O-rama is right choice, for the same reasons Bush was a bad choice: he's too green. Like it or not, Mrs. Clinton has experience on the international stage, thanks to her time in the White House. And thanks to our current president, we're going to need a leader willing and able to repair our nation's poor standing in the international community. Hillary Clinton proves that in this case, the best man for the job is a woman.

THE DIET COKE GUY

Remember, a few years back, when Diet Coke ran that commercial, where a bunch of women in an office all ran to the window to watch a construction worker on his break?

The commercial was called "Diet Coke Break" and featured greased-up beauhunk Lucky Vanos taking off his shirt, and enjoying a cola. (Which is kinda hard to believe considering he's drinking a Dieto Coke, which I think tastes like aluminum foil.) Don't remember the commercial? You can check it out here, on You Tube.

While Lucky (yes, that's his real name) wasn't that hunky (compared to newer commercial hunks like Rusty Joiner), he had a warm, charming way about him that made him a flash-in-the-pan success. He was an instant sex-object... and then, was quietly tossed into the dustbin of pop culture history.

Until recently, that is. I've been sick this past week or so, which has allowed for more TV viewing than I would watch in a month. And I caught a "special report" on Hard Copy. (Yes, Hard Copy. I was that sick, and desperate.) The report was a "Where Are They Now" sort of deal, and as it turns out, Lucky is more than just his name.

Lucky Vanos used the money he made from the Diet Coke ads (after investing and saving) to open his own restaurant in the heart of Hollywood, California. It's called Lucky Devils, and it seems to be getting good reviews. You can read a blogger review (with pictures) here, and here. It seems like the Kobe Burger is a little bit underwhelming, but the rest of the food got great marks. (And check out those cupcakes!)

What I like most about this story is that it is yet another sign that my birthplace, Hollywood, is experiencing a revival: new businesses, many of them locally-owned, a springing up all over Hollywood. Gone are the empty store-fronts and cheap souvenir shops, and it their place is a thriving community.

JUNE TUNES

Alright... I'm still a little under the weather, but this post had to happen, as June is almost over. The art for this post is from Dashboard Confessional's Dusk & Summer, the album which contains one of this month's tunes. Aside from being a great album, the front-man for the group is a great guy (it's kind of like Nine Inch Nails, in that the "band" is made up of one guy and session players, depending on the needs of the song). Before becoming a rock star, he worked with special needs children. The fact that he's kind of a hottie doesn't hurt either.

The tune from this album that's making waves, and making my must-have list this month is Stolen. It's a sweet, heartfelt, passion-filled ballad, perfect for a dreamy sunset, or end of the night beach-bonfire. It's a little like Wicked Game by Chris Isaac, but without the whining. It's beautiful and haunting without being overly depressing.

Girlfriend [Remix] Avril Lavigne feat Lil' Mama - when I put Lil' Mama, and the original version of this song on my music list last month, I never imagine these two artists would team up for a remix, but they did... and it kicks @ss. If you don't already own this song, go for it

Glamorous [Album Version] Fergie - I love this song, although the guest rap by Ludacris doesn't really do it for me. I live for the verse where she talks about how she still goes to the Taco Bell drive-thru

Here I Come [Album Version] Fergie & Will.i.am - Not really a remake of the Motown classic, so much as a major overhaul, I've been looking for this song for over a year now. And with good reason... it was originally recorded as a promo-only for the launch of the CW Network, and the re-recorded for Fergie's album, The Dutchess. This new version was featured on Ugly Betty this season, and I knew right then, I had to have it.

Back To Black [Album Version] Amy Winehouse - yes, this song is on the list (again), but it's that good.

Beautiful Liar [Freemasons Club Edit] Beyonce & Shakira - I liked this one when it first came out, but I really freaked out over it when I heard this kick-@ss remix. But then again, I love anything the Freemasons remix. (I'll blog more about them, and their new album later.)

This Love and Time Of the Season [Album Versions] Blake Lewis - from the new American Idol CDs, also available on iTunes for downloading as an album, or as singles. I'm not very impressed with the rest of the tracks, as they are studio versions of the TV performances, especially when it comes to You Give Love A Bad Name--I didn't care for it then, and I'm even less impressed now.

Earth Intruders [Album Version] Björk - Never for the faint-of-heart, and always a layered listening experience, Björk has delivered another stand-out album, and this first track is no exception.

Tambourine [Album Version] Eve - The Rough Riders diva is back, and badder than ever. Although the single dropped in April, a recent episode of So You Think You Can Dance featured the song, and the video is getting heavier rotation; both are good signs for Eve's new (yet to be released) album.

THORRY...

Sorry I haven't been posting much these past few days. After Earthlink "fixed" the problem with their DSL servers, I got sick. I've spent the past couple of days in bed, sicker than I've been a long time.

A special shout-out to the person who got me sick. You know who you ams...

Hopefully, I'll be back up to my normal steam soon.

BOSTON-BAKED CAST

I was bummed to read in this morning's LA Times that David E. Kelly had decided to shuffle the cast of Boston Legal for this coming fall season. The article said that fans shouldn't panic, because series regulars Candice Bergman, William Shatner and James Spader would still be around. But pretty much everyone else (including the pretty Mark Valley, who plays a Marine-turned-Lawyer; pictured here, on the far left) will be gone. I thought that maybe I had misread the article... so I wiped the sleepy from my eyes, and read it again. But no, I read it right. All but three of the cast members' options were not "picked up." The spokesperson for ABC said they wanted to keep the show fresh... as if the wild antics of the craziest group of lawyers on TV was getting stale.

The show is anything but stale. I'm not sure what the production schedule for this show is, the episodes always have that ripped-from-the-headlines feel. The cases the lawyers argue are topical, as well as well-written and acted with superb attention to detail and character development. Every episode was like a guessing game, an adventure in comedy, with a dose of social-awareness and political retrospective thrown in... well, just because they can.

For now, I'll trust that David E. Kelly knows what he's doing. But there had better be some great new eye-candy on this show, or I'm out!

EARTHLINK BLOWS (AGAIN)

Sorry for the lack of posts as of late... for some reason, Earthlink and Google's servers are not getting along at the moment. While Google offered several fixes (on their end), Earthlink is pretending nothing is wrong, which means I'll be taking a little break until the problem is fixed.


Until then...

WHO IS THE TARGET MARKET FOR THIS AD?

MYTHBUSTERS CAN SUCK IT!

I recently caught the first few minutes of an episode of the Discovery Channel's Mythbusters and nearly tossed my cookies. Now, let me back up and say that I've never really cared for this gawd-awful show: it seems to be a bunch of nerds that somehow managed to score a TV show. I'm not against nerds having TV shows — I'm a dork, myself, so far be it from me to knock a bunch of people gettin' their nerd on.

But I do take issue with the show for the following reason: they stole someone else's research and claimed it as their own. They did a show, "exploring" the "real" reason the Hindenburg blew up. When I heard this, a little bell went off in my head. Where had I heard this before?, I thought. Why do I know the outcome of this research already?

Then, later in the day, I remembered something I'd read: the research that proved the Hindenburg didn't blow up the way people thought it did (a hydrogen leak) had been performed earlier at UCLA. Yes, years after the tragedy, UCLA researchers figured out that the final report on the crash of the Hindenburg had it all wrong. And now, the Mythbusters were out to "investigate" the "truth" behind this famous zeppelin crash... research someone else had already done.

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

MTV News just reported on an amazing organization with roots in Florida, that is now spreading across the nation. Becca's Closet is a non-profit organization that collects prom dresses, shoes and other accessories to distribute to high school students who cannot afford to purchase their own. There are no extensive background checks, no need to provide copies of bills. As one volunteer stated in the report, "If you've come to us, you're in need. We don't ask questions, we just want to help."

This may sound like a trivial, less than important cause, but it's not, for two really great reasons. First, and the most universal of the two, is that no matte who insignificant senior prom may seem (later in life), for high school seniors, this is a major social event. And social exclusion, because of financial hardship, or otherwise, can be emotionally damaging for teens. Everyone just wants to belong, and for many students attending prom offers a sense of belonging. And rather than just handing out old hand-me-downs, Becca's closet asks that donations be recent styles, and includes shoes, make-up and certificates for hair-styling, thanks to local merchants. In short, they offer the total transformation package for those in need.

The second reason is that the young woman who founded the organization was killed in car crash shortly after starting Becca's Closet. Her unfortunate death brought her community together (a rarity these days), and her generosity has begun to spread beyond the Miami-Dade area.

If you'd like to know more about Becca's closet, or would like to make a donation, click here.

NOW REPORTING FOR DUTY

I'm not quite sure what to make of a recent NPR news bulletin, except to say wow. I think this is the definition of mixed-news: According to several news outlets, the doctors at Fort Campbell (in Tennessee) is seeing a major, uh, surge in population.

In a normal month, the hospital at Fort Campbell delivers about 100 babies a month. This month, they're scheduled to deliver 250... nine months after the 101st Airborne Division came back from active duty. The birth rate at Fort Campbell is expected to grow over the next few months, bringing the tally for 2007 to a new record: over 1000 babies.

The department of defense's birth records report that the last time the Army saw a baby boom like this was in 1992, then dubbed, Operation Baby Storm. This time around, it has been given the (unfortunate Bush-inherited) name of Operation Baby Freedom. (The name of the current war in Iraq, Operation Enduring Freedom, is a topic for another day.)

The reason I call this baby boom mixed news is that the 1000 new lives brought into this world will only put a small dent in the death toll, now almost three times larger...

TV REPORT (The Kickoff)

Well, the first full week of summer TV programming is winding down, and things are shaping-up to be pretty interesting. Yes, I know interesting isn't a very descriptive words; it is almost non-committal in nature... but that's what I'm after. This week in TV viewing served up some major disappoints (like CBS' Creature Comforts) and some major laughs (like Bravo's Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D-List).

But what has taken me by surprise is how quickly I became totally, head-over-heels addicted to Fox's So You Think You Can Dance. Its rare to see a reality show that is both compelling and entertaining, without resorting to the bag of cheap tricks most shows use. (Think Survivor, The Apprentice or The Amazing Race, or other shows that have overly-dramatic back-story videos, or special "all-star" versions and other stunt casting.) No, SYTYCD relies on a talented group of contestants, some of the best judges around (love Mary's laugh, can't get enough) and to top it all off... the music.

Ah, yes, the music. It makes sense that a dance show would have good music, but the producers of SYTYCD go out of their way to feature the hottest, newest jams, night after night. (And I'm not just saying this because the music on this week's show also appears on my personal music must-have list for May.) Its no secret that I'm a music junkie, so a show like this is like a double-whammy.

Or possibly a triple-whammy: TV, music and (sorta) cute guys. I think the cast of previous seasons had more eye candy, but this season is shaping up to be pretty watchable. As I sit here watching the Top 20 slowly coming into focus, I find myself caring more and more about the dancer; rooting for favorites, and actually making a personal connection with the show. I wouldn't have thought a fluffy summer show could have this kind of impact, but... well, here we are.

And here we go...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO...

Uh, me! I stayed up until midnight (a major undertaking at my age), just so I could post this picture. This was taken, back when I was a lil' ol' baby... insert random fatty-boom-batty joke here.

RATINGS DON'T LIE... DO THEY?

I've made it clear that I'm not rooting for USA Network's The Starter Wife in the weekly ratings. So you can imagine my disappointment when I saw that the first installment did pretty well in the ratings... at least according to the folks over at Nielson ratings group (as reported by USA Today).

Then I did a web search for other reporting mechanisms, and found something, well... odd. When I compared the Nielson cable numbers (for prime-time cable) with the total (overall, all day-long) cable ratings, The Starter Wife doesn't even come into play. In fact, some of the numbers (for the same events, like the NBA playoffs) don't add up.

Much like the Billboard music tracking system, the TV ratings system has come under fire for problems with accuracy, and the perception of unfair business practices. But unlike Billboard, which now includes downloads and other forms of new-media influences, the Nielsens have only made minor changes, adding a couple of hundred new boxes (in college markets).

Either way, I'm not predicting good things for The Starter Wife, and not just because I don't like it. I spoke with a couple of people who watched the first installment, and neither one had anything good to say about it. One person even said they had no intention of watching the show again... I hate to say I told you so, but...

NOW THAT'S BEEF

I just read (in the L.A. Daliy Snooze) that Donald Trump launched a new business venture: meat. Yes, the man best known for buying old properties and drowning them in gaudy marble and gold leaf (and then overcharging for said property), is now entering the beef industry.

And in his typical business pattern, he's overcharging. There are several packages available, the top-one retailing for $999. Yes, four to six cuts of beef (I assume it is high-grade beef), for one thousand dollars.

I don't think he'll fail in his new venture. Somehow, against all odds, against all proper forms of reason and boundaries of good taste, he manages to succeed. What surprises me is how poorly-timed this venture is: the low-carb (and thus, higher beef consumption) fad is long-gone; the number of suspected cases of mad cow disease in the US are still on the rise; and with the economy on the slide... high-priced products are a risky gamble.

But it doesn't matter... Trump has a way of declaring victory, whether he's won or not. Like with the whole Rosie O'Donnell thing: she quit, not fired, like Trump wanted. But that's another story for another day. I will say this: Rosie is a real trooper, and a true patriot. I have yet to see Donald Trump add anything of value to American culture, whereas Rosie has been a philanthropist and cultural icon, to gays and straights alike.

POINT: PARIS; MATCH: SOCIETY

There's been a great deal of hoopla surrounding Paris Hilton's arrival at jail this week — much as there should be. She's always flaunted her, "whatever" attitude, but this time, her devil-may-care ways have landed her in a heap of trouble.

While it seems like tearing down famous people is an American sport, I think (in this case) it is well-deserved. Paris is famous for being famous... and little else. (And yes, I've had tons of those email advertising her sex tapes sent to my various in-box.)

And while I don't feel anything even resembling pity, I am proud of her... for more than the obvious reasons. First, and foremost, she's taking the punishment. Many celebs manage to avoid paying for their crimes (remember the whole Mel Gibson fiasco?), but not Paris.

And even though her sentence was reduced, I'm proud of her for serving it. And to be totally honest, her sentence was reduced by no fault of her own... it seems we have a problem with prison over-crowding here in California. Basically, Paris had her sentence reduced because our celeb-turned-politico state leader can't manage our prison system properly.

But I digress... the real reason I'm proud of her is because of a story making the rounds in the media right now. Prior to turning herself into prison, Paris attended the MTV Movie Awards. On the red carpet, Paris mentioned that she had been offered a spot in a, "pay prison," or one of the secluded, and more comfortable prison assignments... and she turned it down.

She said she wanted to be treated just like everyone else, and serve her sentence. I've never been a big fan of Ms. Hilton's, but in this instance, I'm in her corner.

WATCHING TOO MUCH TV...

... can kill you, it seems. (I'm only concerned with this, because I wrote so much about television last week.) According to the BRI:

A woman died (age 86), after her TV died. She kept the set on 24 hours a day, for nearly two years. When a component fried (inside the set), the fumes killed her.

A man in Florida was shot in his bed — after being poisoned by has family, to no avail — after his family decided his constant TV watching was annoying them. They tried putting LSD in his chicken, and cocaine in his wine, but resorted to a more, uh, traditional method.

IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?

I recently saw an ad... for Applebees, I think. I'm not quite sure what they hell it was advertising. It featured a woman pleading for help, saying she needed help finding her kidnapped husband. A "famous" scientist, last seen at Applebees, then he was thrown in a van by "men in hoods." And then she offers a reward for any information leading to his return.

They even have a website (which I won't link to), where they somehow (it doesn't fit it to the time line of the story she tells in the commercial) have footage of his kidnapping (shown here, on the left).

I think what upsets me most, is that this is obviously meant to offer some form of diversion; intended to entertain. Which wouldn't be such a problem, if there wasn't a national news freak-out every time a white girl disappeared. (Think Chondra Levy, Lacy Peterson, or that girl in the Bahamas.) There's round-the-clock coverage, tons of articles, candle light vigils... yet hundreds of African American, Latina and Asian women go missing, get raped or are the targets of other violent crimes, and go completely unnoticed.

It's offensive enough when our country freaks out when a white person disappears (like mountain climbing, or something), and ignores other ethnicities and races... but to turn it into a joke? A pastime? A contest? C'mon... grow up, already.