KEEP ON TRUCKIN'

Well, the guys over at Buckshot have really outdone themselves this time... I'm talking about their new flick, Big Rig, of course. I'm excited to see this one, and sure it will deliver--and I've only seen the trailer! Buckshot set itself apart from the pack with the award-winning BuckleRoos last year, and everyone else has pretty much been playing catch-up ever since.

But don't take my word for it, check out the trailer:

Big Rig (Buckshot DVD)

and enjoy!

10-4 GOOD BUDDY…

OK, so that's all the CB-radio lingo I know, but it seemed appropriate.

It's been a while since I was excited about the release of an adult title. (Yes, that's a shotgun in my pocket, but I'm still happy to see you!) Buckshot Productions, the guys whom brung you my favorite film, BucklerRoos (Parts 1, 2 and 3), and Beyond Perfect are gearing up for the roll-out of their latest masturbatory masterpiece, Big Rig.

I'm pretty jazzed about this, for a number of reasons (Brad Patton being one of them, but more on that later). I'm so excited to see this one, that I actually took the time out of my lunch today to make this mock-up of what the DVD box will look like. (Apologies to Kristofer and the rest of the mens up in the bay, but I just had to.)

Fine, I'm a nerd. But I'm a porn nerd, so that makes it OK.


P.S. I know there's some witty play-on-words with the whole Buckshot - bird shot, Dick Cheney - dick (as in pen!s) thing, but the more this VP scandal drags on, the less amusing it seems to be.

WHAT WOULD CJ DO?

I think you’d agree, life ain’t easy… right? There really aren’t any situations in which there’s always a clear right, and a clear wrong. No, life operates in shades of grey—a beautiful (if one can use such a word to describe grey) spectrum of complexity, challenge and sublime irony. There are many, equally valuable, equally important schools of thought when it comes to how to best navigate life’s trials. The most common approach, it would seem, is based in religion or spiritual doctrine and / or dogma.

Remember those WWJD bracelets that were so big, a while back? You do? (Dork! You’ve most likely traded it in for one of lose Lance Armstrong, yellow rubber things you wear around your wrist. Funny, doesn’t that have something to do with testicles? I mean, I love my balls as much as the next man / dog, but c’mon… uh, wait. What was I talking about? Oh yeah.) It’s funny—well, not ha-ha funny—to see how quickie people abandoned that particular approach.

I really thought they were on to something, too. I mean, for the last 2000 years, the Judeo-Christian mentality dominated much of the world’s culture, for better or worse, and if they wanted it to, or not. The life and teachings of Jesus Christ, even if just taken at ‘face value’ (meaning you look at them as parables, or teaching examples, and not the exact will and word of God), are complex, compelling and not-so-easy to always live by. But here was an attempt (or so I thought) to bring those morals and values into the modern world.

Funny how the fading of that bracelet fad ended around the same time Bush II came into power. If the all those Bible thumpers really thought it was God’s divine will and intervention that brought a, ‘man of God’ into the White House, why then, did they put the teachings of Christ on the back-burner? Whadda ya mean, Jesus wouldn’t have gone to war in Iraq, W.M.D.? Oh, but surely, he would have been in support of locking up those Arabs, and beating / torturing them. Well, he would have at least supported the wire-tap program, right? Hmm… well, we know he would have forgiven VP Dick Cheney for accidentally shooting his friend. OK, got it now.

I’m getting pretty tired of the Bush Administration and its antics, but it has very little to do with those WWJD bracelets. As interesting as those little pieces of cr@p were, and as fascinating as a philosophical question like that can be, it just isn’t the kind of thing that sticks. Back when the whole WWJD thing exploded, I made a bracelet for myself. It said WWLKD?, which means What Would Little Kim Do? I thought that was an appropriate question, given the complexities of today’s modern life, but since turning 30, I’ve been searching for a new outlook.

If you read my blog, it’s no secret that I’m a HUGE fan of the TV show, The West Wing. (Aside to M: Wessawing!) Now that I’ve re-watched seasons 1-4 on DVD, I’m falling in love with it, all over again. But thanks to my Boob-Tube companion in this visit to the world of Aaron Sorkin, I’ve developed a new-found respect for CJ Cregg, the White House Press Secretary (played oh-so-skillfully by Allison Janney, who can be heard as the voice of the starfish in Finding Nemo). She’s elegant, has amazing grace under pressure and always knows when and how to bring the funny.

So now, if I find myself in a jam, I’ll just ask myself, What would CJ Do?


Previously

Via Con Dios

TIME GOES BY… SO SLOWLY

Well, it was interesting, for lack of a more, uh, interesting word. From the screen capture accompanying this post, you probably guessed I was talking about Madonna's much-hyped appearance on last week's Grammy Telecast.

I wondered how they were going to stage the performance, and what the song would sound like. As it turned out, there wasn't much of a cross-over -- thirty seconds, if that, and the whole thing felt a little underwhelming.

Don't get me wrong-I thought she did a pretty good job. Well, actually, when you consider the fact she's pushing 50 years-old, it was an amazing performance. A little throaty, as far as the vocals went. And when I was scanning the performance for screen shots (I've got a collage of three other shots on my flickr account), I noticed she had her eyes closed. Alot.

I didn't watch the rest of the telecast -- didn't see much point in it, what with Mariah Carey (and her enterouge of 28 prodcer / song writers) up for so many awards. This picture got me thinking, though... If right now (after nearly 50 up-and-down years), Madonna looks like Paris Hilton (stripper pole and everything), what's Paris Hilton gonna look like when she's 50?

Previously

Your Ears Won't Believe Your Eyes…

Go Back In the Day

Girl, You So Crazy Mariah Carey post

This Is Her Album, Clap For It!

THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE A GECKO…

…don't even think about hitting the brakes—just run the damn thing over!

Alright, I’m going to spare you the long version of this disaster, to protect your sanity (and what little of it I have left, too). I signed up with Geico insurance a long time ago, thinking it was a better deal than my previous carrier. I mean, hey… their commercials feature that funny, little talking Gecko, so it can’t be all that bad, right?


Flash-forward, to this past fall: My car is broken into, right in front of my house. They bang-up the doors destroy the stereo and completely demolish the ignition core while trying to boost my poor, little soy-rocket. No, they didn’t get away it with, but the might as well have.

I call Geico’s claims department, and they tell me I have two options:

-One is to have the car towed (on my dime) to a mechanic I trust. Geico says they’ll send out a claims-adjuster to any shop I choose, and once they’ve looked it over, they’ll authorize a dollar amount, which will be used to pay me back for any charges I incur. The rep tells me it will be about two or three days before they’ll be able to look at it.

-The other choice is to use the Geico Express Repairs Program, which means they’ll pay to tow my car to a repair facility (about 15 miles away), where they have an on-sight claims adjuster and authorized repair shop. They’ll cover all the costs, after I’ve paid the deductible and work is guaranteed for the life of the car. Oh, and they also guarantee repairs will start on my car within 24 hours of the inspection.

This sounds like a bit of a scam, so I choose plan A. Two days later, they inform me they don’t have any adjusters in my area, and won’t be able to send someone. Ever. They let me know that I can pay for the tow and all repairs out-of-pocket, and when I send in some photos of the damage, they’ll consider reimbursement. So, I opt-in to their program.

A tow truck arrives that day, but the guy doesn’t know where he’s going. After I get directions, I sign all the paperwork, and sit back… thinking my car is going to be fine.

For two weeks, Geico couldn’t tell me where my car was, or how they’d lost it. First, they blamed me for not telling them where I'd sent it. Next, they said I never signed the paperwork to authorize repairswhen I dropped it off... which was the story they stuck to until they tried to bill me... for the tow service.

I’ll spare you the rest of the rancid details, but let’s just say that NOTHING about Geico’s service lived up to the promises and guarantees. Call after call, after call, no one at the repair shop or Geico could tell me what was going on, and they kept saying I was at fault, and never once said they were sorry for the "mix up."

It took almost three weeks before the whole thing got straitened out... at which point I switched to AAA Insurance, and cut my bill in half.

JUST IN CASE...

I wanted to make sure and post the cover (and the title) of the Erasure DVD I mentioned in an earlier post.

Its called, The Tank, The Swan & The Balloon, and its available through Amazon.com and other fine retailers.


Previously:

Bringing The World To Its Feet

FEELIN' C*NTY? HAVE I GOT A SHOW FOR YOU!

Here’s a little pic-schmear from a new(ish) podcast I’ve subscribed to: Gay Pimpin’ With Jonny McGovern. It’s a great show, with high-quality production values, and one-of-a-kind content.

Overall, it is a bit of a throwback to the 90s (what other show talks non-stop about vogue throw-downs in the clubs, “Paris Is Burning” and constantly drops Junior Vasquez’s name?), but I love it. I just love it, I tell you! Maybe I love it because it reminds me of a time when I was fabulous and fierce… or maybe it’s the smart tranny-humor, or the parade of sexy boys (that’s Jonny on the left of the pic, and Jay* on the right—he does movie reviews, so of course we get to see his butt). Whatever the reason, I’ve fallen for this show in a big way. Those b!tches sure now how to entertain.

As always, you can listen to this program one of three ways (so pick one, hookah!):

1. Go to the Apple Music Store (requires iTunes software), and subscribe to the show, or download individual episodes. You can listen to these shows on your iPod (or other snazzy portable digi-device), or on your computer, via iTunes. This is a free service.

2. Go to the Yahoo! Podcast page, or whatever. This is an OK choice, but I find the Yahoo! service to just be so-so.

3. Go to the show’s site … but if you’re put-off by the simple iTunes way of doing things, then you can just figure out other RSS options on your own.

BRINGING THE WORLD TO ITS FEET…

My younger sister gave me a really cool Christmas present this past holiday. OK, so it was an item taken right off of my Amazon Wish-List, but it was the thought that counted. This may sound like a cliché, and it may very bell be one, but there seems to be such a lack of thought, courtesy and consideration in the world today, that this gesture truly blew me away.

Now, in the interest of disclosure, there were a number of items from my Amazon list that ended up underneath the tree this past Christmas. As the holiday season started to reach a feverish pitch, my younger sister made several comments that proved she had looked at my list—I mean, looked and actually saw how it represented the different sides of my personality. She commented on a joke that only our family would understand, commented on a couple of changes I made, but she’s the type of person who takes care of their gift-buying way before the holidays. Based on the timing of her comments, I wasn’t under the impression she was getting anything off my list.

Then, on Christmas day, when I opened my gifts, there it was: The DVD of the Erasure concert I’d attended over a decade ago. I was back in high school, and some friends from my summer job had an extra ticket, and… well, the comment from my Amazon list says it all:

“This concert changed my life… no, seriously.”

And it did change my life, do doubt about it. It was the first time I’d been around that many gay men… and it felt like home—also the title of the last song of the concert. (The title of this post is taken from the lyrics.) The image accompanying this post is a (bad) Photoshop collage of images from the concert. I'm not all that great at this sort of art/work, but I had to tackle this challenge—no single image from the concert really gives you an idea of what the show was like. Heck, even this hodge-podge of pictures only gives a small clue… but you can find that out for yourself.

You see, the concert had been filmed, but it was available only in Europe, and only in the PAL format. I know because I tracked down a bootleg copy on VHS a couple years later. It was a really poor-quality transfer—the video and audio really sucked, which totally defeats the point of having a concert on tape. But it was a special concert to me, so I held on to the tape (hidden in a box somewhere) for years. So when they finally released it on DVD last year… it went on my list the next day.

We’ve never discussed it, but somehow my sister saw through all the other items (and equally important comments) and gave me this.

So, uh… thanks.

YOUR EYES WON'T BELIEVE YOUR EARS…

Uh, or something like that.

Last week, it was announced Madonna will open this year's Grammy telecast -- an honor she's tackled before. But this time, there's a twist: she's performing with the animated band, The Gorillaz. If you've never seen or heard of them, you really should take a little time to check them out. Not only do they have a great sound, but they take this whole cartoon-thing pretty serious. I mean, they use cartoons in the video, and perform live… behind a screen, with the cartoon personas projected above the stage.

Now, I love Madonna. And I'd say that I'm a fan of the Gorillaz (as much as I'm able to make heads or tails of them). I was thrilled for Madonna, the last time she performed on the Grammys. Not because she did an amazing job or anything (she did that strange, seizure-like dance in full Geisha get-up for "Nothing Really Matters"). But she won that night, and she deserved it. "Ray of Light" was one of the best albums of her career.

But unless she's doing one of her full-on theatrical concerts, and it just her and the microphone… well, let's just say that her strongest selling point as a live performer is the look of it all. Live, Madonna is great to watch, and just OK to listen to. And The Gorillaz (live) are interesting to watch, but not much of a musical experience.

It should be interesting to see what happens when they get together. (If you haven't heard Madonna's new single, "Sorry," get your hands on a copy now -- it's great, especially the remix, with guest vocals by the Pet Shop Boys.)

[And Fausto: Shut up! She rocks, and she's been around a lot longer than anyone else -- I'll take her over Cher, anyday.]

KICK THOSE OL'SKOOL JAMS!

Here is a list (a little late) of the songs I just couldn’t get enough of for January 2006.
In alphabetical order:

A Pain That I’m Used To [Jacques Lu Cont Remix] Depeche Mode
Another winner from Mr. Lu Cont—if you haven’t heard his work yet, check him out!

Are You Gonna Go My Way [Armand van Helden Remix] Lenny Kravitz
A killer little white label that has quickly become my morning anthem.

Everything Burns [Album Version] Anastacia feat Ben Moody
Still a favorite, for a number of reasons.

Hella Good [Roger Sanchez Release Yo’self Mix] No Doubt
This one is from a few years back, but still rocks.

Hung Up Humps [Mash Up] Madonna vs Black Eyed Peas
Tacky, tasteless and delicious… need I say more?

I’m Free [Album Version] The Soup Dragons
A trip back to my days in school (I’ll let you guess if it was junior or high school).

If You But This Record (Your Life Will Be Better) The Tamperer feat Mya
A guilty pleasure, no doubt about it.

LOVE [Missy Elliott Underground Mix] Ashlee Simpson feat Missy Elliott
Finally, an Ashlee Simpson song that doesn’t make me vomit when I hear it.

My Life [Original Version] Shirley Bassey
I’m not gonna explain this one. You either get it, or you don’t.

Proud [Album Version] Heather Small
Take a listen to this one, and you’ll understand why I love it so much.

Also, I’ve been enjoying The PNSexplosion (a podcast), The Feast of Fools (another podcast) and have spent more time than I anticipated browsing the Apple Music Store’s Video/TV section.

Enjoy!

GO BACK IN THE DAY…

Remember back in the days before recordable CDs? Before ATMs or microwave… well, anything? Back then, if you wanted to give somebody a customized musical gift, you had to fart on them, or make them a mixtape.

Now, those days are back! Over at Madonna.com, you can make a mixtape of your favorite tunes from her new album, Confessions On A Dance Floor, and send it to a pal / loved-one, over the Internet.

So check it out, all you cool-cats out there!

S'WHAT I'M TALKIN' BOUT...

Not that I had any doubts (I mean, I didn't even tune in to watch, which tells you how confident and/or cheap I am), but it is nice to see the WWE championship back in John Cena's hands. His big, muscular, hunky, hot-and-heavy and ready-for-action hands…

Hold on, I need a minute to collect myself.
OK, there. I'm back.

One thing about the recent turn of events in the world of pro-wrestling (and no, I'm not talking about that lame-@ss show on the Spike! Network), is all the Cena haters. In addition to having to deal with his so-called competitors, my boo now has to deal with an imaginary backlash that some fool is trying to kick-up. Adding insult to injury, less than 24 hours after getting his title back, he had to go into the ring (on the USA Network Monday night) with the belt on the line... again!

When are those peanut-buttah, tar-tar, chowder-head haters gonna learn? There can only be ONE champ, and most of them are too fugly to even get in the ring with my boy Cena… they should just stay home, y'know?

I mean, look at him! I ganked this image from a great fan site—you should check it out.)

See? That's what I'm talkin' bout! (And what I'm lookin' fo, too.)

S'ALL RIGHT, BOO…

With or without the title (and belt with custom spinners), I still loves ya, baby...

If you missed the WWE on USA last week, then you missed John Cena telling ol' skuzzy-what's-his-name (who really needs to wash his raggedy-ass hair) that he was gon' make him his B!TCH. Well, the match is today, but there's no way I'm shelling out the dough for a pay-per-view match.

Besides, we all KNOW who is gonna win, and who is gonna end up the b!tch.

IT'S A BOY!

I'm so thrilled to announce the arrival of my newest relative… my cousin Julie, and her husband, Doug had a beautiful baby boy this morning. (I don't have a picture yet, so I've posted these two shots of the day my mom brought my baby sister home from the hospital.)

His name is Thomas Robert Staub… Robert, for Doug's family, and Thomas, after my mom's father, who passed last year. We would have just celebrated his birthday this month, so it is nice to welcome a new soul into our life. Thomas' older brother, James is very excited about the new arrival. He's two and a half, so I'm not sure he really understands how much his little world is about to change… all the family members who've been around for Christmas have been asking him if he's happy to get a new baby brother (he says yes). This is usually around the same time they handed him his Xmas gift, so I think he may have the idea that this brother is a gift, or comes with gifts… I'm not sure. All I know is that we're all really happy.

And that's enough for me.

ES UNA GANGA!

Also known as a bargain, to you gringos out there.

Well, it's been a while since I posted anything porn-tastic on my site, so I just thought I'd mention two things:

1. The blog known as Pink 4 Boys is nothing more than a front for an internet porn-scam (and a bad one, at that). So avoid both at all costs, OK?

2. COLT Studio is having a mega-amazing sale, so check them out!

More to, uh, come… later.

GIRL, YOU SO CRAZY

OK, so I'm not gonna be one of those people who bags on Mariah, but secretly has one (or more) of her albums in their personal collection… that's just lame. I mean, for all the people who say they 'hate' her, it seems three times as many people bought her albums. No, really! Her record sales are insane… uh, I mean, uh. Well, you know.

But I will say this:

1. No other artist has been sued because the sound of their voice, in its uppermost register, opens garage doors… without the clicker. No, seriously. I mean, I don't consider it a good thing, but… anyone who knows how that lawsuit resolved, please email me.

2. Exhaustion? No, c'mon, Mimi / Mariah / Echo, or whatever. What kind of crack were you ON?

3. If her latest album was SO great as to deserve the most Grammy nods of any artist this year, why did it take 18 people to write just one song? Is she THAT untalented, as to require an Olympic team of songwriters? Puh-leeeze.

Oh, and you have to check this out.

THIS IS HER ALBUM… CLAP FOR IT

On "The Isaac Mizrahi Show" last week, Madonna was the featured interview. Oddly enough, I blogged about both of these topics, right before this… I swear I didn't know, or anything. Just a couple of things I love, crossing paths.

Isaac, during the course of the interview, called Madonna, the "queen of disco" or something—he mentioned Club 54, and how the album evoked that whole era. Madonna responded by reminding Isaac that she wasn't old enough to enjoyed that time (the whole, "Bianca Jagger thing" as she called it). But she did say "Confessions on A Dance Floor" was her way of recreating the glamor / mood / sound of that time now, so as to take part.

Hey, works for me…


Previously:

This Is Isaac, Audience… Clap For Him

On the Other Hand… (Madonna, Part 2)

Things That Make You Go, Hmm… (Madonna, Part 1)

TWIRL, OPEN… COME BACK AND GRAB!

ronnie
Originally uploaded by feastoffools.

Everybody’s favorite dishing diva and Feast of Fools regular, Miss Ronnie, recently took time out of her honky-tanning, booty-building, Curves-dissing schedule to make a video-cast.

Well, maybe we should just call it what it is: a public service announcement.
Not to be confused (or outdone) by a PSA released by the gang over at PNSexplosion, Miss Ronnie breaks it down for all you fools out there and… wait.

Why the hell am I doing your homework for you? Click here to watch and learn for yourself!

Previously
Hola Senorita Cosa!

UPDATE, UPLOAD, UNLOAD…

For the handful of people who check in on my site from time to time (and there really are so few of you), I'd like to say sorry… I recently upgraded my Mac to OS X (Tiger 10.4.3), so I haven't posted in a while. I did, however, keep writing so I'll have a butt load of new entries in the next two days—stay tuned, OK?

Oh, and just for the record: I've heard so many horror stories about the upgrade to Tiger. I even paid for that lame-@ss PDF booklet about taking control of Tiger, or whatever… For all the shakes, shivers and sh!t you're meant to go through with a system-overhaul of this size and scope, it was a breeze. No, really… I had a little bit of a tense moment, the first time I booted-up (after the upgrade), but that was it. (Heh, heh, heh… booted!) My Mac now runs faster, cleaner and is so much fun to work/play with now. I'm not a big fan of Spotlight (and yes, I've customized it), and Automator is way out of my range…

But overall, I love it.

OPEN YOUR MOUTH, GIVE YOU A TASTE…

So I came across an interesting post on one of the blogs in my bookmarks folder… I think it is just beyond cool when other people share their musical interests—it's kinda like finding out who they date, or what they like to eat.

My older sister used to dip her crinkle-cut fries in her chocolate milkshake whenever we went to Del Taco, a kick-ass California fast food joint. (Think, Taco Bell… only it won't give you the runs.) I don’t remember the first time she did it. I don’t even recall her mentioning how much she liked it, or ever attempting to make me try it. What I do remember is how pissed-off she was whenever I asked her about it—or worse, when I made fun of her for it. She just liked what she liked, and it wasn’t any of my business.

Whether or not I agree with someone else’s taste in music is always overshadowed by what an honor it is when they decide to share this information.

All of this might sound pretty trivial, in the abstract. But make no mistake about it this sorta thing can be incredibly personal. Nobody likes it when they’re ridiculed, so putting your thoughts and opinions out in the open is an act of bravery. And now, I have a bunch of new music to check out…

So go ‘head now, ‘spress yo’self!


Previous, music-related posts:

It's An Honor, Just To Be Nominated

Put Your Thing Down, Flip It and Reverse It

Ten Tunes Rockin' My World Right Now