YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, CELINE

This is a photo of Celine Dion, from her "new look and album," from Newsweek. But she's not fooling me - she still sings like a drowning rabbit. (Think I'm lying? Check out clips on YouTube here, here or here.) Her glottal stops and diphthongs would make even the most inexperienced voice student stop dead in their tracks, and her over the top vocal acrobatics only serve to further expose her shortcomings.

HOPE YOU KEPT THE RECEIPT FOR THIS GIFT

I mean, yikes... how mad at you was the jerk who gave you this gift for X-mas?

SPEAKING OF BITCHES...

Another guilty TV pleasure of mine (as you may know, from an earlier post) is watching the Food Network. But I've noticed a disturbing trend in the past year or so:

SKINNY BITCHES WITH COOKING SHOWS!

Uggh. I can't stand it! Not only are these knock-kneed, buck-toothed, vomit-after-every-meal, skinny-ass ho's dominating the airwaves, but they have the nerve to host shows featuring sweets, cookies, cakes, etc.

C'mon, people! When your elbows are the biggest part of your upper-body, your 'rexic @ss doesn't deserve a cooking show, let alone a show about sugar-sweets!

Puh-lease!