Tuesday, September 26

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH... ?


Every so often, there's a trend... or phenomenon, or whatever, that makes me wonder: What am I missing? Some trends, etc., just seem to come out of nowhere. Others, like our national obsession with Deal Or No Deal (if someone could explain what's so great, please do), are just plain stupid, and cannot be explained.

But other times, I'll notice a pattern (or whatever), and wonder where it came from, and why no one else really notices it.

A while back the NY Times did a piece on all the "big name music divas" who were having a, "comeback," or at least acting as though their new album was a comeback of some-sort, or another. They cited several artists, including Beyonce, but left out another Hip Hop Sistah having a renaissance: Kelis. They've both come out with great albums this year, experiencing cross-over success in Hip Hop/R&B, and the clubs, with killer dance mix EPs and singles.

But the strange thing is they both give "shout-outs" to the Roland 808: a synth/sampler machine from way back in the day. And I mean way back, that Roland doesn't even SO make the damn thing anymore. Its mostly replicated/replaced by newer products that are based on, or inspired by the 808 series, but no one really owns one anymore. Yet both women mention it in their lyrics...

What's up with that?

Monday, September 11

HERE'S LOOKIN' AT YOU, KID...

A big congrats (and hug) goes out to my baby sister, for reaching the 100-mark on her blog.

I've talked about her alot over the past year (Aside to Asiram: You're only a couple hundred behind, now!) because she's become an even bigger part of my life.

For a new blogger, she's taken to it pretty well/quickly, and had no trouble finding her voice as a writer. I'm very proud(s) of her. (That's an inside joke, and no, I can't and/or won't explain it. Just go check her blog out, already!)

ENDINGS AND BEGINNINGS

I was utterly shocked, and saddened, to hear about the sudden (and unexplained) death of Anna Nicole "Trimspa" Smith's son. He was only 20, and died of unknown causes in the Bahamas. He was there for the birth of his baby sister, and very little is known about how he died.

Life is pretty fucker sometimes. All jokes aside, Anna Nicole's life seems to be filled with horrible twists and turns... yes, they happen to all of us. But we don't all live in the public eye the way she does, or with her obvious mental/emotional handicaps. I've been on Trimspa for a while now, and other than the occasion rash (mostly when I've had too much caffine, on top of the T'spa), and over-heating (which is actually something I've always had to deal, just like my dad, but I'm placing the blame on the Spa right now), I haven't had any of Anna's symptoms, or results. I'm losing the pounds, but at about 1/10 of the speed, uh... I mean, time, it took Anna. I don't have her plastic surgeons at my disposal, but I also don't have her problems.

Our universe is in a constant state of change, always moving, and adjusting, but trying to reach equilibrium... now matter how fucked up it may seem.

Thursday, September 7

HAVE ANOTHER PLATE OF SPAM

Here are (more) email someone had the nerve to send:


Wherever it is hiding, the spy cam is hard at work capturing shadowy voyeur pictures
Really? Cuz I’ve been hiding my fear of commitment for a while now.

Shoocking harsdcore pisctures governing frictions
What? Even if you spelled every word correctly, I still wouldn’t know what it means. But I’d alzmoist bee willink to paye two seye itk!

Shame of sex? We can change it
Not so much shame, as lack-of.

Mouton cubic rutty mcclain bookend dooley pratt exorcise map nair grocer wink be...
Ooh-ahh, willah-wallah, bing-bang… see? I can spout nonsense, too!

Fork out with Mohammed Langston
All praise Allah! (Hey, at least it wasn't "pork-out" with Mohammed!)

We are professionals at getting you laid.
Well, it’s about time! Are you hiring? Need an extra, uh... hand?

Since I’ve seen the first erection in my pants I had a crazy dream to enlarge my…
Really? I had a much different reaction.

Say yes to impeccable sex!
Yes! Now what?

Classify yourself a new man.
OK, now what?

Juan-Your check could be waiting
We have a winner!!!

GUILTY PLEASURE #345

I caught a little of that "Guiltiest Pleasures" special on the E! Network. Lame! There isn't really much of a justification for that network staying on the air anymore. Well, except Guilty Pleasure #455, "The Simple Life," but that's another post for another time.


Today, I'm singing the praises of MTV's Two-A-Days. Let me clarify a couple of things:

1. I hate (and yes, I mean, "hate") that they don't play music on the Music Television channel anymore.

2. I'm not into twinks, or underage guys, but...

There's something so hot about all these dumb, macho football players running around acting... well, acting really gay. Don't believe me? Check out those pics, or go to the MTV site, and watch a clip.

I have no idea what "Two-A-Day" refers to... maybe one in pinka, two-a-day in the twostinka, dunno... but it's hot.

FEEL THE HEAT

Kristofer Weston, and the rest of the gang over at BuckshotDVD announced their next big, new release: a double-pack of manly heat. (Those are the two covers next to this post.)

I'm looking forward to seeing this one, cuz' I love just about everything they put out. (Heh, heh... put out.) I even love the older stuff, like "Muscle Ranch," as much as I love the new Buckshot classics, like "BuckleRoos." I'm also looking forward to giving Brian Hansen a chance to redeem himself. Not sure what I'm talking about? Read here.

The last release from Buckshot featured a little something for everyone. From cutie Danny Roddick, to hottie Josh Weston. (If you've never read any of Mr. Weston's writing, you're missing out.)

If you wanna know more about these, and other hot releases from Buckshot, check out their site.

Wednesday, September 6

NIP IT IN THE...

Well, last night was the season opener for Nip/Tuck, and it rocked! Props to Brooke Shields' character for calling Christian "out" on his drama, and interior bullsh!t. (I won't share too much, but this photo should tell you something.)

Also, major props to another gay man (oops, I didn't say that), and more big-ups to Suddenly Susan star, Brooke Shields. She finally got her apology from Tom Cruise. She looked hot last night, acted the cacca out of the role, and brought a straight man to his, uh, knees... for an apology, of course.

WE BE CLUBBIN' TIL THE DAY...

Here are my September music pics (in no particular order):


Disco Inferno [Jason Nevis Club Mix] by 50 Cent

Work It For Me [Jason Nevins Radio Remix] by Nelly feat Justin Timberlake

Is It Love [Starkillers Mix] by iiO

Strict Machine [Album Version] by Goldfrapp

People Are Strange [Album Version] by The Doors

Are You Gonna Go My Way [Armand Van Helden Remix] by Lenny Kravitz

Believe In Me [Steve Lawler Remix] by Lenny Kravitz

Killing In the Name [Club Mix] by Nice Cream

Bossy [The Scumfrog Club Mix] by Kelis

Boom Boom Bah (Theme from "Dead Like Me")

I Got You, Babe [Soundtrack Version] by Cher feat Beavis & Butthead

Love Sensation [Freemasons Remix] by Loelleta Holloway


anything by Deep Dish (remixed, or otherwise)

Tuesday, September 5

DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200

I live in one of the areas affected by the recent changes to Cable TV service. (OK, if you live anywhere in SoCal, you're probably in the same boat.) There's been heavy market saturation—print, TV, online, mail—trying to convince us that changing from Adelphia to Time Warner is a step-up. They try and make us think nothing will change... which is both a lie, and not what actually need. Adelphia was a nightmare.

Even if we set aside the corrupt, illegal actives of the jerk offs who own(ed) the company, they still blew donkey d!ck. There were channels without broadcast programs, and constant service interruptions. Yet year after year, the city awarded them a closed bid contract, in which no other companies could offer competition. You have to switch to dish cable if you want something better... but that isn't regulated by city, state or national government agencies.

Why should that matter? Monopoly. No company should be able to exist in environment whey they have no incentive to improve, no reason to ever make a better product. And Time Warner now has a monopoly; much they way Getty Petrol and the Rockefeller Train Co. did, back when Anti-Trust (anti-monopoly) legislation was written. Back then the government made it priority #1 to go after these companies. Don't believe me? Drive down the 405 Fwy. in Los Angeles and check out the Getty Center, funded with money the Getty family wasn't allowed to keep because it was deemed illegal to retain that kind of profit. Or drive up to the San Joaquin valley, to see one of the many public libraries funded by the Rockefellers—libraries that are now closed, or in disrepair, due to a lack of funding.

What’s wrong with this picture?

YOU GO, SISTER-WOMAN GIRLFRIEND!

I read something interesting the other day: it was about the first female driver. When Madamme Levassor's husband died (back in the 1890s), he left her the patent rights to the Daimler gas-powered engine (in France and Belguim—at the time, a big deal in the world of autos).


Not only did M. Levassor become the first recorded female driver (photos proving this date back to 1892), but soon after, she began manufacturing cars... which she named after herself.

You go, sister!

Sunday, September 3

FRANCES, WITH AN "E"

If you've never listened to a podcast, this may be a bit much... but I think you can deal. If you're a regular fan of podcats, and/or gay (or just one of the two), you need, and yes, I mean, "need" to check out The Entertainment Beat With Frances Gumm.

I just listened to Episode #18, and it was one of the most amazing things I've ever heard (and that's sayin' something, folks!)

I made a set of icons for the show (a general icon, some folders and a few document-replacements), but due to image and software copyright laws, I can't distribute them. I can, however, make non-profit copies for friends... so if you'd like a set of iCons (sorry, Macs only, at the moment) please post a comment, and let me know.

Ciao!

Friday, September 1

CRANK THIS MOTHER UP!

Alright, so I wrote a review of Crank, but blogger crashed my browser... twice. (And yes, I'm using the latest version of Firefox, so fuck-off, all you blogger assholes. Your product, free or not, sucks. I'm ready to pay for one that works.) So here is, take three:


My cousin, Sandra and I, went to the first screening of Crank, and it rocked. It wasn't heavily screened for reviewers, which is usually a bad sign when films are released in the US. But in this case, I think the studio took the right route. Most reviewers in major American print outlets are over-40, bitter, and have more hair on their butt than their balls (or head.) Except Ken Turran over at the Times, he's my dawg. But not matter what those other turds say, this movie rocked the kooch. (Amy Smart more than earns her second-billing in this film. Even though she's only in about 1/3 of the film, she steals nearly every scene she's in.)

Crank features pulse-pounding action, breathtaking stunt sequences, a too-hot-for-TV sex scene and big, belly laughs. The jump/stutter-cuts, and other MTV editing tricks (terms the over-40 reviewer uses as an insult, but I choose to reclaim, as a compliment) are smart, effecient ways of matching the break-neck speed of the action. For once, an action film found a way to keep the pace solid, from start to finish, without overwhelming the plot, or the audience. My only beef was that the pace never let up. With just a few subtle changes here and there, this film could be a blockbuster. It may turn out that way, regardless.

One scene that stuck out in my mind, was a chase sequence, where Jason Statham (who somehow managed to turn the usual macho-acting homo-bashing into a sexy, arousing sneer—just imagine him calling another gangster and asking, "Y'feel like going' down on me? Lettin' me lick your arse?—turns from harASSment to hot) is on his cell phone. Rather than simply inter-cut the two callers, they project the image of the other guy onto the wall, behind Statham, while he runs. Little tricks like this keep the film up-and-running like... well, let's just say there's a hard-on scene (before the sex scene) that's not to be missed. There are plenty of nice shots of Statham's ass, also not to be missed included in the film. And the ending... has to be seen to be believed.

If you haven't seen a good action flick in a while (and I hadn't), go see Crank.

SO PROUD, I'M BESIDE MYSELF

OK, so I've been holding off on this post, for two reasons:

1. Historical accuracy: As far as I can tell, the pictures I combined to make this new photo were taken 29 years ago, today — the day they introduced me to my new, baby sister.

2. If I think about it too much, I'll cry... and that's just not pretty.

Anyone who reads (or has read any old posts on) my blog knows my life has been in the toity for a couple years. But my baby sister (who had her b-day a week ago) is just the opposite:

*She's about to start grad school, with a grant taking care of her fees'n'stuff (and they don't give that money to just anybody, y'know)
*She's been taking care of here body for a while now, and looks fab (aside to any straight guys out there: she's got a big set of bazoombas)
*She's smart, articulate, artistic and except for her obsession with lame-@ss Disney Chnl. shows (Hah! you've been outed), she's a rockin', kick-@ss person.

I'm so proud of her, and happy to count her amongst my friends. Yes, I said friends. If I met her now, I would still seek out her company—want to spend time with her. How many family members can you say that about?