Thursday, May 26

ONE BOY, TWO BOYS

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Wednesday, May 25

UH…

My older sister finally checked this site out. Her thoughts?

"There were a lot of words."

sigh

Tuesday, May 24

THE FINAL (CONDENSED) INSTALLMENT

Posted by: zippersparks
THE FINAL (CONDENSED) INSTALLMENT
Life's Too Short
The Final Two Installments of My Special Story

OK, so I've been advised NOT publish the final chapters of the saga (read: drama) surrounding my last job for reasons I won't go into. Instead, I'll keep it short, thus removing any (and I mean ANY) legal grey areas, and close with this:

I learned SO much. I loved the work I did, could have done without the personal politics and in the end, all of the work, drama and intrigue didn't amount to much. I was laid off because of restructuring (or so I was told) but what it boils down to is that my passion and stubborn-headed nature left me without an ally when I needed it most.

There's nothing I could ever say or do that would make that company a better place to work, or help them understand my true value/potential... I ran myself into the ground, ended up in the hospital (pneumonia, thanks) and don't have much to show for it.

Or do I?

[The record is NOT over yet.]

Monday, May 16

KYLIE or RUMMY?

(with apologies to GQ magazine)




It's easy to spot the differences between Pop Princess Kylie Minogue and Evil Overlord Donald Rumsfeld, right? I mean, one sold their soul in the quest for world domination, the other one sold their soul in the quest for world domination. I mean, they're at TOTALLY opposite ends on the spectrum of humanity, right? And no one would ever have trouble determining if a quote came from Kylie or Rummy, would they? Take this quiz and test your knowledge.

Kylie or Rummy? You decide:

1. "Look at me! I'm sweet and lovable."
2. "I'm a great napper. A terrible sleeper, but a great napper."
3. "That's a really good question, and if I could tell you, I would."
4. "You will receive only honest, direct answers from me, and they'll be either I know and I'll answer you, or I don't know, or I know, and I won't answer you."
5. "I've got to have a man. I've got to have a man!"
6. "Once in a while, I'm standing here, doing something, and I think, 'What in the world am I doing here?'"
7. "This kind of backlash didn't really seem to be coming from the people. It was more from the media, because they were bored."
8. "If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much."
9. "That's why they say, 'Have you cracked America?' They say it because it's hard. You have to crack it like a piece of rock."
10. "This is fantastic! I've got a laser pointer... Holy mackerel!"
11. "I haven't done anything terrible or punishable. I'm being attacked for just being myself."
12. "It was the first time my boyfriend had seen me perform."

ANSWERS:
1. Rumsfeld
2. Kylie
3. Kylie
4. Rumsfeld
5. Rumsfeld
6. Rumsfeld
7. Kylie
8. Rumsfeld
9. Kylie
10. Rumsfeld
11. Kylie
12. Kylie

Sunday, May 15

NOW YOU CAN SIT ON IT, TOO!


If I Can't Sell It, I'll Keep Sittin' On It!


There... I've gone and done part of the work for you, so go ahead and check out this little ditty from Bea Arthur, OK?

Saturday, May 14

THE CULT OF BEAUTY / BOOTY

"I don't feel like I'm oppressing anybody..."

When I was first offered the job (you know the job, the one in porn), the first thing I did (well, the first thing after I changed my Pampers, which had been ruined when I laughed so hard, I peed) was take my dad out to lunch. We went to the Shakey's Buffet by my old high school, partly because it was closing that week (forced out by "redevelopment" don'tcha know?), but mostly for the Mojo potatoes.

Now, pops and I can talk about anything, and I mean, ANYTHING. Yes, I'm wired like my mom, but that's why checking in with the ol' man makes so much sense: he is a solid yin to her yang, which makes him an ideal devil's advocate in situations like this.

I told him all the details: the pros, the cons, but still playing my cards close to my chest (a total departure from my normal neurosis). I have reservations about taking the job, but I'm hoping that if I don't bring them up, and then HE does, it validates my concerns.

It's fucked up, I know, but this was new for me, in a number of ways. Usually, if I have doubts or second thoughts about something, I'm secure (or maybe just stubborn) enough to bow out, stick to the plan and feel good about it. But this time, oh, this time was different. For once, I was able to fully grasp and digest the amazing new world unfolding before me (mine for the taking, it would seem), and I want it... I mean, I REALLY want it... but, again, I have those nagging doubts-doubts now snowballing into (irrational) fear because my dad... hasn't said a word. This is a VERY unusual development. My dad always speaks his mind, no matter what the consequences. But now, he's just sitting there, munching on his pizza crust.

"So. . . uh, waddayathink?" I eek out, diving for the last of the Modjos.
"About what?" he counters, calmly stealing a thick Modjo slice off my plate.
"Uh... the job," somebody with a voice like mine says.
Silence.
"Do you think I should take the job?" I ask, my emotions (finally) boiling up to the surface.
"I think," he mutters, not even trying to hide a small sigh, "if it is work you think you can do; work you think you think you would like, for an amount of money, benefits and growth opportunities justifying the investment of your time and..."
"But what do you THINK?!" I ask, cutting him off, and now painfully aware of how transparent my doubts are. He sighs. (Again.)
"I think," he says, shifting in the booth, as he starts again, "If it's work you think you can do, that you think you'll like, for that kind of money..."
He doesn't even bother to finish.

The talk eventually turns to the impact of the adult industry (hegemony, dominant beauty standards, and the usual White Opression talk) and the kind of influence I'll have if I take this job. But for the first time in my ENTIRE life, my dad doesn't urge me to rebel-doesn't incite revolution. No, he tells me not to rock the boat, just learn all that I can, and focus on the new skill sets I can pick up, for the NEXT job.

Several months later, the topic comes up at a small family gathering. Over the course of the discussion, I admit/confess/brag I'm enforcing the dominant, fascist body cult, and contributing to low self-esteem everywhere, and (only half-joking) cap it off, saying, "I don't feel like I'm oppressing anybody!"

But as the laughter died down, a thought jumped up, into focus: All those times in the past, when it felt like there was some larger force, an unseen system 'keeping me down' maybe those pricks didn't know how much they were hurting people-hurting me... but the warm glow of enlightenment dims as I realize that at some point, they knew. It was pointed out to them, or they knew all along but didn't have to face the ugly truth at the start of their oppression, whatever. The point is, they kept going, even after they KNEW the negative impact, which means they intend to inflict harm, and didn't lose any sleep over it.

But hey, when it's work you think you can do; work that you'll like... you fight the power, buck the system and speak your mind when it will be most effective, not just when its called for.

Thanks for letting me learn this one on my own, pops.

HE'S A DANCIN MACHINE

OK, so I know nobody asked, but here's my list of cock-rockin' tunes for May (in no particular order):


Lazy [Freeform Five Remix] X-Press 2 feat David Byrne - A hot little white label, no-holds barred, tower-of-power horns house mix I've been trying to track down for about two years now. Amazing.

Tipsy [Original Version] J-Kwon - Every boy needs a booty shakin' track to play as he towels off after his morning shower.

Everything's Not You [Quivver Space Mix] Quiver - Another track, from a few years back, rockin' my world even HARDER, now that I've got a copy to call my own. Decadent vocals, epic breakdown and a killer build-up... I'm in heaven.

Galvanize [Album Version] Chemical Brothers feat Q-Tip - Phat, freaky, wet, wicked and wild. This one really gets the blood pumpin. Everytime I hear it, I get so amped up, I forget that I don't know what it is REALLY about, too busy thrashin' around to listen for clues.

Give It Away [Album Version / Extended Club Mix] Deepest Blue - I first heard this one, as part of a mash-up featuring the vocals from iiO's "Rapture," which filled my head and haunted my soul until I found the original version. And it haunts me still.

and finally . . .

If I Can't Sell It, I'll Keep Sitting On It from the Broadway production of "Just Between Friends," starring the incomparable Bea Arthur. You have to hear this one to appreciate it, but trust me when I say it is delicious. (You can buy it at the iTunes music store for only 99c, so check it out!)

Thursday, May 5

NO JOKES ABOUT FLAMING, OK?





Your Element Is Fire



Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame.
You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out.

You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable.
You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go.

Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive.
Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.