Tuesday, November 29

THE GODDAMN ROCK-SOLID GHETTO SHIZNIT NAME-GENERATOR

OK, so I posted this (a long time ago), but I think it might be time to break it out again. The upcoming holiday seasons can be a stressful time, so if you need a good laugh, check this out:

The Goddamn Rock-Solid Ghetto Shiznit Name-Generator

And if you're feeling brave, go ahead and post your name here, on my site. (I've turned off the sign-on protection, so you don't need a password to post.) I'll post mine at the end of the week.

So try it… mine was pretty funny.

Oh, I know, I know… you’re just so experienced—you’ve been everywhere (and I mean everywhere, you sick, horse-sex video watchers), seen it all and taken every last damn internet quiz and used every single name-generator… if you’re that jaded, then I’m suggesting you get a personality for Christmas, OK?

One love!

Monday, November 28

SURE, YOU'RE STRAIGHT…

OK, so I'm not usually into the whole gay-for-pay thing—I just don't buy it. I mean, everyone has the right (and the obligation, sometimes) to self-identify with the term that best suits them. I'm not going to deny anyone the right to call themselves straight, and then turn around and have gay butt sex.

Most of the online sex sites that feature original amateur content specialize in straight guys having gay sex—for the first time. Sean Cody is one of those sites (and one of the better ones, at that.) A couple of different sites regularly read had mentioned this new Sean Cody film, Bailey's Fuck Buddy, so I checked it out.

Hot. I mean, really hot. And not just cause they're a couple of greased-up beau-hunks who enjoy a good a banging (the oral lasted about, oh, all of 5 seconds, and then it was, anchors away!). No, what really, uh, blew me away, was how hard these two guys were trying to contain their enthusiasm. It seemed to take enormous amounts of restraint to keep the whole, straight-acting AberZombie thing going.

They both claim to be straight. OK, sure. One of them even says he has a, "serious girlfriend." But the, they mention that they're going to have sex with the same girl, later in the week (after a good ass-pounding, of course). Oh, and the girl making up the middle of this manwich is not his, "serious" girlfriend.

Now, again, I'm not saying they're gay. They can be whatever they want. Hell, they can call themselves watermelons for all I care. I'm just saying that I didn't really buy into it. I usually need some level chemistry between guys if I'm watching a skin-flick—which is why I usually avoid the whole gay-for-pay genre. (And most Eastern European stuff, too.) But these guys had real, barn-burning, wrist-chaffing sexual energy. There was something in their eyes that said they were really, really into this.

Again: I'm not saying they're gay. I didn't think they were gay during the whole naked work-out. And when they said they'd seen each other naked a few times, "in the shower" (at the gym, of course!), I still didn't think they were gay. No, that wasn't it. And I didn't start thinking they were 'mos when they kissed, gave each other spankings, or when Bailey called the other guy, "bitch," over and over again… I didn't think it when they got visibly excited (a little too excited, if you ask me), when the off-screen voice told them he'd brought a ton of toys for them to play with. ("We love toys," they both giggled, before expertly ramming dildos of various shapes and sizes up their holes.)

No, the moment I stopped believing they were straight was when Bailey told his "gym" partner to suck his, testicles. Testicles. I mean, I'm a big ol' mo—I flame like a charcoal briquette, and even I say balls.

Sheesh.

Saturday, November 19

GOODBYE, AARON… I'LL MISS YOU

After 40 years, a Los Angeles landmark is closing its doors forever. Aaron's records, located on Highland Blvd., in the heart of Hollywood will be missed.

JUST HAPPY TO BE THERE

I'm not sure when this picture was taken—I think sometime in early 1978, I'll have to check with the parents on that.

That's my older sister (Laura) on the left, my baby sister (Marisa) in the middle, and that dork with the gap-toothed smile is me!

Friday, November 18

OK, NOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET A NEW iPOD

It was only a matter of time, I guess… the iPod revolution continues, as companies like COLT studios and Hot House announced plans to roll out their content in pod-friendly format.

Well, at least now I'll be able to take Jason Kingsley with me wherever I want. (Hey, I can dream, can't I?)

Monday, November 14

A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Saturday, November 12

YOU GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS, Part 3

What can I say about MM2x4? (That's Matty, Matty, 2-by-4, to the rest of you.) We've known each other for the past six years or so, and he's one of the few people in my life who has been there for me, no matter what—like family.

Matt, and his amazing partner, Rick, have been there through all the ups and downs I've seen in my life:

When I wanna go out, grab a drink, dance all night or just catch a flick, they're always good company.
When work, life and love kicked my ass, they were there with a friendly hug and a word of advice… all without ever making me feel like I was being judged.

The last year of my life hasn't really been a picnic, and while I never doubted Matt's devotion, loyalty or love as a friend, I have to admit: I don't know where I'd be without him. He was there, every step of the way, offering a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, willing to laugh at my stupid jokes.

Any time I feel overwhelmed by life, I just think about what a good friend Matt is, and keep working—working towards becoming the kind of person he treats me like.

Previously:
You Gotta Have Friends, Part 2 (click here)
You Gotta Have Friends, Part 1 (click here)

JESUS RAVES!

A day-party, back in 1999, in what used to be the Venice graffiti pit. Those were the days…

Monday, November 7

IT'S EASY… JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE IT!

If you scroll down a bit, you'll see a new post detailing the many ways to check out the Feast Of Fools podcast... but for any of you blessed/cursed with a short attention-span, the host of the show has provided a screen-shot of where to look on the iTunes store. (Thanks, Fausto!)

Now, go get your Feast of Fools freak on! And tell 'em I sent ya!

Sunday, November 6

TEN TUNES ROCKIN' MY WORLD RIGHT NOW

Not that anyone's asked in a long, long time, but here are the songs on heavy-rotation right now: (in no particular order)

Right Now by John Cena - The Champ. 'Nuff said.

Hung Up by Madonna - I wanted to hate this one, I really did... but c'mon, it samples ABBA!

House Is Not a Home
[Moran Mixshow] Deborah Cox - damn, girl! What's gonna happen to your recording career if you ever find a man to treat you right? You'd have nothing left to sing about, now would you?

Allegro vivace
from John Rutter's Gloria - Et intera pax hominibus bonae voluntatis, indeed. *

Flashlight
by George Clinton et al. - Hey, man... smell my finger.

We Belong Together
[Peter Rauhofer Reconstruction Mix] by Mariah "You So Crazy" Carey - another kickin' mix from Rauhofer, but I know I have a copy of ho's "All I Want For Christmas" somewhere...

Holiday by Green Day - if you haven't checked out the last Green Day album, they you obviously live in a red state (of denial).

Hole In My Heart (All The Way To China)
by Cyndi Lauper - this little number has been my mid-day pick-me-up. Not because it's particularly upbeat or anything... the lyrics conjure up some intense, yet life-affirming images and emotions.

Left Outside Alone
[Jason Nevins Global Club Mix] by Anastacia - cause I was. And because I know some people who should be.

Flagpole Sittah
by Harvey Danger - been around the world, and found that only stupid people are breeding.

I'd Die Without You
by P.M. Dawn - that opening piano lick is divine. No, inspired.

And what are YOU listening to, speaker bunnies? Drop me a line, or post it here!

* If you know what this means... then you know what it means.

TEMPT MY TUMMY WITH THE TASTE OF NUTS 'N' HONEY


Our Logo 2005
Originally uploaded by feastoffools.
OK, people... listen up: if you've never listened to a podcast, get with the times. If you don't own an iPod, or similar digital player, that's OK—you don't need one!

There are several ways of sampling a podcast:

1. Go to the iTunes music store-front, and select the 'podcasts' section. RIGHT NOW, THEY'RE MAKING THIS SUPER-EASY, TARD-PROOF: On the main podcast page, down at the bottom (under comedy), you can click on a direct link to the show. You can download a single episode to your computer for free! Like what you hear? Hit the subscribe button, and you're all set!

Once you've loaded the podcast into iTunes, you can move it to an iPod, if you want your funny on-the-go.

Not a Mac-type? That's OK. I love you anyway, and still want you to dine at the Feast of Fools.

2. You can go to the Feast of Fools site, and stream an episode via your internet browser.

3. You can also check out the new podcast service from Yahoo! (I mean, this is from the people at Yahoo! — it doesn't come any more tard-proof than this!

And after all that, if you're not a fan of FEAST OF FOOLS... well, then f*$#% you, who needs you!

Uh, I mean... there are plenty of other shows out there to explore.

[NOTE: Only Matt and Rick are excused from this ASSignment. Good luck with the new digs, guys. Shabba, shabba - shabba, forever.]