As I was walking down the aisle of my local
Target store, I noticed and end cap display for a popular diet pill supplement...
Alli (pronounced,
Ally). I've heard quite a bit about this product, as it is the first FDA approved over the counter weight loss supplement. And being a tad on the heavy side right now, I thought I'd do a little more research to see if
Alli was for me.
Boy, was I shocked once I started reading. And then, to make matters worse, I saw a report on the news. (Or maybe it was
The Colbert Report - I don't recall. When you watch Fox Noise as much as I do, it gets hard to tell the fake news from the "real" news.) Anyway, the thing that stood out to me, more than any weight loss success story, was the list of very
strangely worded side affects.
The side insists that if you take the pill you "accept" the following:
-I am willing to do the hard work to lose weight gradually
-I am committed to following a reduced-calorie, low-fat diet (avg of 15 grams of fat per meal)
-I am committed to eating smaller portions
-I am committed to making time to be more physically active
-I will read and follow the
alli label
-I understand that if I take
alli with a meal containing too much fat, I may get bowel changes known as treatment effects. The effects may include gas with oily spotting, loose stools, and more frequent stools that may be hard to control. Why? Because alli prevents absorption of some of the fat, and undigested fat passes through the body
Wait... hold on a second. What did that last bit just say? For real, though? Given the first few statements (basically saying, "I will eat less, and exercise more") why put up with those side effects. I mean, if I'm going to
uncontrollably leak oily goo out of my anus, I want to be able to eat anything I want... and I'm talking about nacho cheese covered, deep fried anything. Chili on everything warm, and heavy whipped cream on anything cold. Ice cream and nachos for breakfast. Well, you get the idea.
Why would I want to pay all that money, just to have my bum spew geysers of goo, when I
still have to diet and exercise. I mean, these people, my "allies" totally missed the point of the American Dream: to look like a rock star, and eat like a loser.
Sheesh.
Do you sniff your clothes before you sort them, when doing laundry?
Not that he was all that cute to begin with, but what the hell happened to former American Idol runner-up, Clay Aiken? I know the costume is from the dreadful musical, Spamalot, but the hair, the extra 40 pounds or so and his complexion? Clay once had a hit song, Invincible, but now I think he should wish to be invisible.
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Has anyone else watched the show Ace of Cakes and wondered why none of them ever wear hair nets? I mean, sure, the lead cake-maker is bald but some of the others (like the girl with the glasses, and the rotund girl who cries all the time) have long, unkempt hair.
As I was walking down the aisle of my local Target store, I noticed and end cap display for a popular diet pill supplement... Alli (pronounced, Ally). I've heard quite a bit about this product, as it is the first FDA approved over the counter weight loss supplement. And being a tad on the heavy side right now, I thought I'd do a little more research to see if Alli was for me.
Wait... hold on a second. What did that last bit just say? For real, though? Given the first few statements (basically saying, "I will eat less, and exercise more") why put up with those side effects. I mean, if I'm going to uncontrollably leak oily goo out of my anus, I want to be able to eat anything I want... and I'm talking about nacho cheese covered, deep fried anything. Chili on everything warm, and heavy whipped cream on anything cold. Ice cream and nachos for breakfast. Well, you get the idea.
I try not to be too judgmental, when it comes to my fellow man. But, on my way into the office this morning, I saw an employee (from another company), wearing the following:
