Saturday, March 28

LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GAY

There's the usual too-much explaining to do, in setting up this clip... but it is so freakin' hillarious, I just had to share it:

Thursday, March 26

MARCH'S SERVING OF SPAM


Here are some honest-to-god subject lines from email in my Yahoo! Spam Folder:

Beef only from cattle younger than 21 months old if Japan lifts its ban.
I don't know what that means, but I'm not falling for it.

Enjoy life more in your own hot tub!
Got to get in the hot tub!!!

Are you wasting your military benefits?
I didn't know I had any...

Hernia Patch Recall - Important lawsuit information!
Hernia patch... those are two words I never want to see together.

Lady's first dog sex!
Gross.

Shakira is a lesbian. We have intimate pics!
Don't care, don't wanna know.

YOU HAVE BEEN CHALLENGED!!! Someone thinks you are dumb - take the quiz and prove them wrong.
Yeah, I would prove just how dumb I actually am by clicking on this link.

Yahoo! recommends that you update your browser.
I recommend Yahoo keep its opinion to itself.

I am confounded what these people do with girls!
Me too, pal. Me too.

They loved it too much; next time we should charge them!!
Sounds good to me! What are we talking about?

PUT THE KETTLE ON, MY DEAR


It would take 329 gallons of tea to fill one of the teacups at Disneyland.

Wednesday, March 25

CRUSH OF THE MONTH: March


This is half Crush of the Month, half- What The Hell Happened To, but this month, I selected: Lucy Liu.

We loves her, no? She's strong, but soft and feminine. And while I don't care for the double-standards and impossible ideals we hold up for women in our culture, I have to applaud a non-white woman rising to both.

You go, sister-woman-girlfriend... but don't go too far, mmm-K?

NOT-SO A-LIST


So I decided I wanted to vote for this year's Bravo A-List Awards. So I tooled on over to BravoTV.com, and... nothing. No links, no mention, no search results that helped me find my way to the actual voting. (You can vote here). Nice word clearance, guys.

This is just like last month's Bravo online promo: Be A Part of Bravo's TV Panel. I had no idea what it was, but it sounded like fun. Until a few days ago, there wasn't a link on Bravo's site. But now that it is up, I went over there to "join the panel." After asking a few questions about my age, how much TV I watched (and giving them my email), they said they had all the information they needed. Nice panel.

Ah, the wonders of modern media... I mean, how many things can the management of NBC/Universal ruin? Let's wait and see!

Tuesday, March 24

UH... WHAT?



I love/hate this new Quiznos commercial.

MUST... LOOK... AWAY...


I was chatting with a fellow grad student in class the other day, and I couldn't stop staring at the "love bump" on his lower lip.

It was awful. I felt myself staring. "Does he notice how distracted I am?" I wondered.

I did my best not to stare. Then I felt myself not staring, you know?

So awkward. And so sad (for him).

UM, OK...

A fellow grad student walked towards me in the hall, and then blurted out: "I heard about your 'dickhead'... niiiice."

There's a ton more to explain: the build-up to the comment, what she was actually referring to. But it is funnier just to leave it like this.

THAT'S IT... (SORT OF)


All done. Except for the spinoff movie about life before the war, called Caprica. And the complete re-hashing of the entire war from the point of the Cylons, called The Plan.

But other than that, we are very sad to see the end of Battlestar Galactica

Sunday, March 22

ALRIGHT, MEOW

I love this clip, from a truly under appreciated film, Super Troopers.


Monday, March 16

ONE LAST LAUGH BEFORE WE SAY GOODBYE

I can't believe it, but this week marks the end of Battlestar Galactica. Yes, it's been a long, wonderful (weird) journey these past few years. So to make the final week, here's the cast of BSG promoting the current, final season by reading the "Top 10 List" on Letterman:



I'm really gonna frakkin' miss this show.

Thursday, March 12

WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED?


According to The Los Angeles Times, Bristol Palin and her fiance called off their impending nuptials. Um... this one's almost too easy, kids.

Tuesday, March 10

TOE-UP FROM THE FLO-UP

I was sitting in class, minding my own business, when I glanced over at a fellow student. I soaked in his ensemble for the day: leather jacket, polo shirt khakis and flip flops. OK, I thought. It's a choice.

But then I saw the biggest sin of all... long, gnarled toe nails.

Blech.

DID YOU SAY GAGA or CACA?

There's a lady artist (or maybe a m'lady, not sure about this) named Lady GaGa who seems to have penetrated every facet of my life in the last few months.

I first hear her/him/hisr a while back on the radio, without knowing who she/he/shim was. I remember thinking, Wow, this beat is hot, but who is this horrible vocalist? And is singing about being too drunk to keep her clothes on?

Then, at the gym, I saw a video for "Poker Face" which (again) had me thinking, What an interesting tune... and what a horrible tranny mess of a vocalist.

Against my better judgment, I went digging on the interwebs and iTurds and found Lady CaCa. And since then, she's been on the video screen at the gym, on MTV Tr3s (yes, they still show music), was featured in an episode of one of my fave new shows (Dollhouse) and has been on the two pop radio stations I listen to on the way to school.

Let me be clear: I don't like her. I almost hate her, and her trashy, horrible music. But her tracks have kind of become part of the defacto soundtrack to my life right now.

I'm not sure how to feel about this...

Monday, March 9

GOODNIGHT ME

I'm coming out of the back-end (hee hee) of a gnarly cold, and I just rediscovered Sudafed PE Nighttime Cold formula. These happy little blue tables knock me out! Not all at once, mind you... I nod in and out of lucidity for a little while, and then I pass out... for 10 hours, minimum.

I'm getting better now (about 87% back to my normal, obnoxious self), so I guess its time to go back to tossing and turning. I'm gonna miss the blue pills, though.

Sunday, March 8

THANKS, BUT NO THANKS

I've been convalescing at home for the last week, and as I'm gearing up for the week ahead, I find I have a ton of writing to do. The standard application for word processing is Microsoft's Word.

As I'm typing, Word makes suggestions and corrects spelling (and yes, I know you can turn this function off). While I was typing, Word suggested replacing "is" with "be" in this sentence:


Thanks, Word, but no thanks.

But what do you expect from a company whose name means small and flaccid?

(Note to those of you out there who are writers: yes, this essay is awful. But this is just a first splash-down, for a prompt I don't like so cut me some slack.)