Tuesday, July 29

IT WAS AN

Yes, we just had an earthquake (a pretty big one, too). Yes, I felt it, but we're pretty far away from the faultline that shook. Everyone I know seems to be OK, and there was no major damage. Of course, growing up with earthquakes, you also know, it could be followed by atershocks, but that's the price you pay to live in California.

And it is totally worth it.

Sunday, July 27

NO MAN IS PUDDING

I took these screencaptures of a recent episode of Weeds because it was, seriously, one of the funniest TV moments I've seen in a while. And like most great comedy, it's kind of difficult to explain, out of context. Plus, putting the moment in any sort of frame of reference requires more writing than I'm willing to do on a Sunday morning. So, if you've seen this episode, enjoy! If you haven't seen it (or any 'sode of Weeds), you can always amuse yourself by making up your own version of what's going on at this dinner table.

Friday, July 25

OMAROSA vs WENDY WILLIAMS

Check out my girl, Wendy Williams, getting into a fight with über-bitch Omarosa. Wendy, for her part, manages to stay calm, cool and collected while Omarosa dishes no apparent reason.



Thanks to Julie for finding this clip for me.

50 CENT SUES TACO BELL

Yeah, I know. That headline made me raise an eyebrow too... but here goes:

Taco Bell publicly issued a letter to 50 Cent suggesting he change his name to 79, 89 or 99 Cent to help promote their new "79, 89, 99 Why Pay More!" line of products. They also said if the rapper would make an impromptu performance at one of their locations (rapping for his dinner, so to speak), they would donate
$10,000 to charity of his choice.

50 Cent, in response to the marketing gag, sued Taco bell, saying his good name and image had been intentionally ruined for profit and corporate gain.

I'm gong to have to give this one to Taco Bell, for getting any kind of response (and all the extra, free press) from the "hard-core," rapper... I mean do real gangstas care what Taco Bell does to market their new tacos? No, they just eat them.

Thursday, July 24

CORRECTION

While searching the LA Times archives, I was unable to locate the obituary for Mitch Pileggi. (Actually I gave up after the first couple of pages.) So I'm willing to admit I was mistaken.

So there. No need to call me a liar (although the person that did was a Ginger, and I don't expect them to know better, or how to behave in polite society.)

Cheers!

Wednesday, July 23

WHY I LOVE "FRISKY DINGO"

Reason #243: The Xtacles/Decepticles


Love the Xtcales?
Check them out on Wikipedia here.
Join the MySpace Xtacles group here.

Love Frisky Dingo?
For a great character guide, click here.
For an awesome blog post about Xander Crews, click here.

I REPORT WHAT I READ

There's been some debate as to whether or not Mitch Pileggi is dead or not. I read his obit in the Los Angeles Times, so until they retract the story, I'm standing by it.

HOW YOU DOIN?

If you don't know radio personality and gossip queen Wendy Williams, say How you doin? to her daily talkshow, now in syndication. (This is a test-run by her syndication company, too see if there's a possible market for her show later in the year.)

I've been a fan on WW for a while now - I even watched her short-lived VH1 show, The Wendy Williams Experience. She's a no-nonsense, tell it like it is sort of talk diva. And she's big on legitimate outings (not like Perez's Bloat, uh I mean Perez's Blog), which I love. I don't mean that I love outings, I mean to say I love that she's into legitimate gossip (an oxymoron, I know). I've seen her decline to discuss stories because she wasn't familiar with the facts, and I've seen her decline to discuss things with audience when she doesn't feel it has any entertainment value... that's a girl after my own heart.

So check your local listings, and say How you doin? to Ms. Wendy.

BOB NOVAK HITS PEDESTRIAN

According to CNN, on-air gasbag Bob Novak hit a pedestrian on the way to work this morning. At approximately 10 a.m. (EST), Novak was on the way to work, when he "didn't see" (his words) a pedestrian cross the street. According to an eye-witness, Novak failed to yield the right of way, and slammed into the pedestrian. Novak claimed to have suffered an injury to his shoulder. No charges have been filed yet.

OH, LAME, MAN... TOTALLY LAME

The Los Angeles Times reports that ABC/Disney TV will replace the current team of At The Movies (you know, Ebert & Ropert's old show) with a new team, and a new format. One half of this team will be E! "Movie Critic" Ben Lyons. I put movie critic in quotes because Lyons is so much a critic, as much as he is a cheerleader for every big studio project the majors crap out.

And what's worse, I've heard him say things in interviews (and reviews) such as, "Wow, man," and ,"that's totally cool," only furthering my low impression of his journalist. He, like many other "journalists" on E! use the work, "like" excessively in both conversation and official reports.

I'm sad. Sad for At The Movies, sad for audiences, sad for movies. Disney ruins everything.

Tuesday, July 22

TV ROUNDUP: Summer

I know summer is the time when execs throw all crappy shows on the air, because no one is watching... but I'm here to say, I'm still watching. And I'm not to pleased. Sure, there are amusing shows like Wipeout, I Survived a Japanese Game Show and Project Runway, but then you also have... well, the rest of them. Here are a few, random thought on the current state of TV:

Randy Jackson Presents America's Best Dance Crew:
What does Randy Jackson have to do with this show? And what the hell is up with the format? I'm a smart guy, and I find I have difficulty following along... although part of this is due to the lack of interest in what Shane Sparks has to say. But the bigger question is: who the hell is behind these "Master Mixes," and how can I make them stop? (Aside to Lil' Mama: you keep Shane is his place, girl: 10, 10, 10!)

Rescue Me:
What the hell is a mini-sode, other than a waste of everyone's time? If the writer strike affected you that severely, why not just do what many other shows did, and pack it in for the season? Or better yet, if you felt like you just had to tell another season's story, make a two-hour movie, or a multi-part mini-series, over a two week period? What the hell is up with these five minute vignettes? I've had bowel movements that lasted longer and were way more interesting.

Date My Ex:
OK, Lick my balls.
(Aside to Bravo Execs: get it together!)

GOLDEN & GONE

News wire reports, and MSNBC are reporting that Golden Girl Estelle Getty passed this morning in her Los Angeles home at the age of 84.

I, like many gay men, love watching The Golden Girls and Sophia is/was probably my favorite of the four. (Although Dorthy made me laugh, too.)

She will be missed.

Monday, July 21

QUIEN ES MAS MACHO?

My younger sister and I have a bit of a debate going... I say Luke Ford (seen here, in The Mummy: Tomb of Dragon Emperor) is kinda-sorta cute (not usually into twinkish kinda boys, I prefer men, but the only other mancandy in this movie is Brendan Frasier). My younger sister says Ford isn't cute.

Any other thoughts?

GOODBYE TO SCI-FI

A couple of weeks ago, the world of Sci-Fi film and TV lost two of its greatest actors: Don S. Davis (IMDB here) and Mitch Pileggi (IMDB here). Both were featured on the Stargate programs, and Pileggi was on The X-Files. Its a shame they both died, but kind of cool that they died in the same week.

I enjoyed both mens' performances on their respective shows. They will both be missed.

MILLION DOLLAR MARY

I had the chance to catch the first episode of the new season of the Bravo show Million Dollar Listing the other night, and I have to say... I think I'll actually watch Season Two.

They've switched the focus (and the geographical location) of the show this season, from the old-farts of the West-side to the young, gay(ish) Hollywood, Silverlake/Los Feliz and Malibu area. (For those of you not familiar with the Los Angeles area, Silverlake/Los Felix is so gay, it is often referred to as the Swish Alps.) The editing and subject matter of the show seem to be revitalized, refreshed and renewed, making the show oh so delicious and pretty watchable. (OK, so I only saw one episode, but still.)

The agents the focus on are much younger, and considerably hipper than in season one. More importantly, they seem to despise each other (openly), which should add to the fireworks. When the show roars back for a second season, I for one, will be tuned in, to watch what happens.

Saturday, July 12

FOUR QUICK MOVIE REVIEWS

I've seen a number of movies in the past few weeks, but no one single film stood out enough to warrant a blog post, so here are four quickie movie reviews.

Be Kind, Rewind - A movie with a ton of heart. They went all-out with the "homemade" visuals for the films. This movie would have been way better without Jack Black. Most films today can be summed up via an old Hollywood standard: it's like Alien meets The Blair Witch Project; that is to say most film concepts are boiled down into simple, familiar and easy to digest "concepts," as opposed to trying to create something interesting and new. This film operates way outside the normal Hollywood zone(s), feeling more like an independent film with a hefty budget.


In Bruges - The DVD box said it was a, "comic, action-packed romp with non-stop chases and an explosive ending." There was ONE chase scene, with shooting, and it came 1 hour and 37 minutes in to the film. The rest of the film was a broken-down, sad, sorry excuse of a mess, with Colin Farrell crying and moping in a dull Belgium city. Don't waste your time on this one. And if I ever meet the moron who put together the packaging for this DVD, I'll show them what an action-packed romp is... by introducing them to the business side of a 2x4.



Alvin & The Chipmunks - Yes, really. It wasn't all that bad. I wish they'd made the voices (and some of the music) a little more like the older Chipmunks projects: there was very little distinction between the three 'munks, and the supposedly slammin' versions of the songs sounded more like Kidz Bop than an actual children's musical. The actors playing opposite the CGI chipmunks held their own, considering that most of the dialog and song choices were way too grown-up for a kids film. (Did any little kids get the, "bom chicka wah-wah," let's get it on jokes?) Overall, there are worse ways to spend a couple of hours.


Cloverfield - OK, I finally fell for the hype and threw this one in the Netflix cue. I really only have a couple of thoughts about this sh!t sammy:
1) Many films, from Jaws to The Blair Witch Project, kept audiences on the edge of their seats with fright, without really ever showing the actual source of terror. If you're going for that kind of vibe, don't show us the monster, and definitely avoid close-up shots and panoramic, sweeping shots of the damn thing... if that's the vibe you're after, go for it, don't half-@ss it.
2) Most, if not all, consumer video cameras nowadays have some sort of horizon stabilization mechanism, so there's no need for the excessively shaky manner in which the story is presented. And, if the time line of the story is to be believed, the battery on said camera lasted almost 8 full hours.
3) Normally, even in a disaster film, I have trouble buying that so much crap could happen to just one little group of people... but with Cloverfield, the characters made so many horrible choices, I actually believed the bad luck and misfortune they encountered.

Friday, July 11

OMFG!


I paid $45 for a little over 8.5 gallons of gasoline today.

Wednesday, July 2

REAL, ACTUAL NEWS


Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

I ganked this off of Donnie's blog (here), and it is hilariously sad.

TEN COOL THINGS ABOUT "WEEDS"

I have to admit, the first time I saw Weeds (Showtime), I wasn't very impressed. Even though I've learned not to judge an entire series by the pilot episode, after just a so-so opener, I walked away... but my deep, undying love of Mary-Louise Parker brought me back. And thanks to Weeds TV Online (site here) I've been able to catch up on entire seasons of the show. Aside from presenting a startlingly real slice of life... well, actually, several slices of different walks of life, Weeds is both thought provoking and entertaining. How many shows can you say that about?

But rather than wax philosophical about suburban drug peddling, or giving you a run-down of the story arcs (you can check them out here, on Wikipedia), I thought I would just list ten random, awesome things about one of my new favorite TV shows, Weeds.


1. Mary-Louise Parker - You probably saw this one coming, but I love me some MLP! Something about her crooked smile, the way she completely jumps into whatever roll she's playing, makes me love her beyond any reasonable and explainable level ... and Weeds is some of her finest work. She brings just the right amount of charm, sass and vulnerability to make the role both memorable and enjoyable. She starts off, in Season 1, as a small-time suburban dealer, and ends up swapping street stories ("He taught me how to drive-by.") with gangsters. Which brings me to item #2:

2. The Realism - From the smallest, most subtle aspects of drug and drug dealing culture, to the slang, Weeds nails it down with amazing accuracy, while remaining accessible to those not in "the know." I won't go into detail here, but there were some frighteningly familiar moments in several episodes.

3. Kevin Nealon - In the past, I didn't feel strongly (one way or the other) about him. But he brings some serious A-Game to this show.

4. Dumbing It Up - Most drug (especially pot) movies present all those who enjoy drugs/herbs as stupid, and while using drugs isn't the smartest of moves, Weeds presents the full spectrum of people involved with the illicit drug trade.

5. Respect - The more "urban,' or, "ghetto" characters are just that: characters, and not caricatures. Too often, TV shows and movies rely on broadly-drawn ethnic characters, but Weeds delivers a variety of darkies.

6. Other Sh!t Happens - The show isn't just about drugs, dealing or life in a gated community. All of the characters have fully developed, fully realized story arcs taking them outside of the drug theme.

7. The Lingo - I remember, in college, a buddy of mine stumbled across some government web site compiling all the known street terms for various drugs. (I haven't been able to find it since.) All drugs go by different monikers, varying by community, geographic location and a number of other factors, and Weeds serves up several rich, diverse lexicon.

8. Showtime = Soft-Core Porn - Because it is on a premium, pay cable station, Weeds can present its stories with graphic nudity, salty language and even have one character become a "shrimping" penetrative porn star. (Oh, look it up.)

9. The Theme Song - First of all, hats off to Weeds for even having a theme song. So many shows today just throw up the logo to start the show in an effort to squeeze more ad time in. Weeds makes use of "Little Boxes," a song I first heard in Junior High when I went to visit UCLA. It was presented as part of a history lecture. (That was the week I decided I wanted to go to UCLA, so the memory is a vivid one.) But the reason the theme song really makes my list is that after the first season, the song is performed by a different artist every time. Each new episode brings a new, totally different take on the song, from the original, folksy version, to hard rock, rap and everything in between... the song lets you know you're in for an entertaining show. (Guest cover artists include Linkin Park, Engelbert Humperdinck, Randy Newman and Death Cab For Cutie, just to name a few.)

10. Risk Taking - As more and more of the TV landscape is littered with remakes, "Americanized" versions and knock-offs, it is truly refreshing to see a show taking real artistic and emotional risks... and it's even better to see those risks pay off the way they do.


Well, there you have 'em. I hope you get the chance to view this amazing, unique television experience.


For some great, safe-for-work photos from Weeds, click here.

WHERE IS THIS STORE?

JULY TUNES

Maybe it’s the heat, or maybe there isn’t enough good music coming out right now, but this month’s track list reads like an iTunes playlist generated with the widest possible parameters. Here, in no particular order, are the songs that send me in to a frenzy, get my toes tapping or just touch my summer soul, so I can’t resist singing out loud.

More To Life / Big Time Sensuality [Album Versions] Björk – These two songs, when played back-to-back, get my heart racing, my toes tapping and I always end up singing, at the top of my lungs. Bjork’s “Debut” album seems to just keep getting better with age.

Fucking Boyfriend [Ralphi Rosario & Jody DB Vocal Mix] The Bird & The Bee – I have to be in the right mood to hear this dirty, electro funker, but when I’m in that mood… look out.

Breakin’ Dishes [Album Version / Soul Seekerz Remix] Rihanna – Seriously, when was the last time an artist had as many solid tunes as Rihanna? I’m excited to hear what she does next, as she seems to only get better and better.

The Nitty Gritty
[Stereo Version] Diana Ross & The Supremes – My mother has a gift – no, make that a talent – for getting song lyrics (and melodies) wrong. And since I was a kid, I remember her singing some song about, “getting down” to the, “real nitty gritty.” For years, I thought she was making it up, or just so far off from the real lyrics and melody that we’d never locate the track. I found several versions of this song, and I like this, Shirley Ellis’ version, the best.

Road To Nowhere
[Album Version] Talking Heads – This old tune came creeping into my head the other morning while vacuuming. I forgot how good this song is.

We Need A Resolution [No-Rap Edit] Aaliyah – If you sort my iTunes music library by the date the song was added, the first track is this smooth, silky stunner from Aaliyah. (It wasn’t actually the first song loaded on to my Mac, just the first one re-loaded after a motherboard meltdown a while back.)

Mercy / Warwick Avenue [Album Version] Duffy – I was pleasantly surprised to find another track off of Duffy’s “Rockferry” album I enjoyed. I don’t know how far she’ll be able to take this album, once Amy Winehouse gets off her duff and makes another album. But for now, these two tracks hit the spot.

Viva La Vida
[Album Version] Coldplay – This epic pop/rock tune sends chills up and down my spine, almost two months after the first time I heard it. Which speaks volumes about the song.

Overkill [Album Version] Colin Hay – I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it on an episode of “Scrubs,” and I recently saw a rebroadcast of that episode, reigniting my love affair with Colin Hay’s masterpiece. (Seriously, after “Law & Order,” I think “Scrubs” must be one of the most re-run shows on TV.)

Good Morning, Good Morning [Album Version] The Beatles – This song rocks on so many levels. It rocks harder than it has any business rocking… Ah, heck the entire “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” album is one of the greatest albums… ever. It was so innovative and fresh. I don’t think there’s been another album like it since. Other tracks from this album that rock my world, every single time the come on? Getting Better, Lovely Rita and A Day In the Life.

LOST IN TRANSLATION, INDEED

A company in Great Britain put together a list of the world's most difficult-to-translate words. Here (via the BRI), are the top 10 English words voted the most difficult to translate into another language:

10. Kitsch "An item, usually of poor quality, that appeals to common, or lowbrow tastes"

09. Chuffed (from the word chuff) "puffed with fat" but now meaning "proud, satisfied or pleased" in British slang

08. Bumf (short for bumfodder) "toilet paper" but in British slang, often refers to "paperwork in general"

07. Whimsy "a quaint or fanciful quality"

06. Spam - as in the luncheon mean, not the junk mail variety

05. Googly (from Cricket terminology) "an off-breaking ball with an apparent leg-break action on the part of the bowler" (Although I don't think this term makes much sense in English to begin with)

04. Poppycock "nonsense; empty writing or talk" from the Dutch pappekak, which translates literally as, "soft dung"

03. Serendipity "finding valuable, useful or pleasant things that you haven't been searching for; happy accidents"

02. Gobbledygook "wordy; unintelligible nonsense" (Oddly enough, Blogger and Firefox's auto-Spell Check flagged several words on this list, but not this one)

01. Plenipotentiary "a special ambassador or envoy; invested with full powers to negotiate or transact business"

JULY'S (GOLDEN HONEY) SPAM

Here's a sample of just some of the SPAM in my Yahoo! email:

Claim your Rachel Ray Chef Package with participation
I don't like Rachel Ray, so why would I want a Chef Package from her? Besides, opening a bottle of E.V.V.O. without hearing her annoyingly perky, beejer-voice rambling endlessly on and on, takes away from the overall experience.

100% satisfaction guaranty – ooze first
Do you think they meant, "guarantee?" A "guaranty" is a pledge to pay someone else's debt, or perform their duties, as needed. A subtle distinction, sure, but when it comes to ooze, you want to be sure.

Your bed games will be much longer than now!
Longer, as in the duration of my games, or longer, as in, more inches, down below? If you're going to send me email, asking me to part with my money, at least specify!

Rachel Ray endorses Wu Yi Tea!
OK, enough with the Rachel Ray bullsh!t already! It's bad enough I can't walk down the grocery store aisle with yummy treats like Wheat Thins without seeing her annoying face on every box, can't I check my email in peace? Be yourself in bed, independ of the circumstances!

Read this if you’re a man
I've had my manhood questioned before, but never because I didn't open an email.

Amazon.com recommends “Battlestar Galactica Season 3”
Ooops, that's a "real" email that should have gone into the non-SPAM pile.

Get paid top dollar for your old gold
I don't have anything snarky, or even interesting to say about this email, except to say I received over 20 email with this exact subject line.

You’re fat, but it’s not your fault
Finally! My obesity absolved! And from a total stranger, no less! But I prefer to think of myself more as Rubenesque, not fat.

If your in school, you can’t afford not to open this
Well, this one just takes the cake... and if I have to explain why, shame on you.