Sunday, September 30

BLOG SHOUT-OUT

I've been reading a new blog called The Programming Insider (click here to read), over on MediaWeek.com. OK, it isn't really a blog... it' more like a corporate web site after-thought. (Many companies like to add content to their sites, in the form of first-person columns, and call them blogs. While it may or may not meet the official standards for what makes a blog, it violates the spirit, and intention of blogging, simply by being a corporate entity.) The design of the site leaves a great deal to be desired, and the writing is only ho-hum. But it remains the best (free) source of overnight ratings for TV shows on the web. If you're a TV buff, then check this site out.

Wednesday, September 26

C'MON, MISSY... YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS

When I first hear Doritos and hip hop diva Missy Elliott were teaming up to produce an interactive music mash-up site (click here to visit), I was pretty damn excited. I mean, Missy Elliott is nothing short of a brilliant producer, one-of-a-kind MC and musical visionary. So the chance to make a musical creation (no matter how lame the product tie-in may be), sounded like a dream come true.

With hits like, "Get Ur Freak On," and the ground-breaking, "Work It," Missy broke ground, both as a hip hopper in the world of pop, and a woman in the world of hip hop, and the music industry, as a whole. The music (and entertainment) industry remains largely a man's world, but over the past decade, Missy broke down barriers, struck out on new artistic paths and set new records with her many works. As a producer, artist, MC and role model (for her anti-violence, pro-woman work), Missy Elliott is an artist destined to be remembered for generations to come.
So imagine my dismay when the Doritos site turned out to be heavy on the flash, and low on substance. Yes, I'm impressed by the slick interface, and smooth graphics. Even some of the beats are Missy-tastic. But the user-end of the site is clunky (at best), and doesn't really feel like an opportunity to contribute anything significant or unique. (You can, however, record your own lyrics, but any music producer will tell you: there's no point in laying down lyrics when your beats are so whack.

SIMON SAYS...

From the BRI Book of Quotes, a collection of quotes from the American Idol judge everyone loves to hate: Simon Cowell.

"That was extraordinary. Unfortunately, it was extraordinarily bad."

"You have invented a new form of torture."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I prefer you when I close my eyes."

"I think you invented notes never ever heard before in music."


Contestant: "Why wasn't it good?"
Simon: "Because you sang it."

"When you entered this competition, did you really believe you become an American Idol?
[Contestant nods.] Well, then, you're deaf. Good bye."

Tuesday, September 25

FALL TV SCORE CARD: Monday

Well, we're off to the races with Fall 2007 TV now underway, with ABC winning the first full night of programming. According to the folks over at MediaWeek.com, Dancing With The Stars helped ABC win the night. CBS came in second, even though the majority of its shows saw a down-trend in viewers. NBC came in third, followed by Fox. (Fox, oddly enough, has been advertising its Monday night newbie show, K-Ville as, "the number one new drama on TV. I guess that could be true, but less impressive when you realize K-Ville debuted last week, a week before any other show... it's easy to be #1 when you're not competing with any other new shows.) On a high note, NBC's Heroes came in second overall, which is a good sign. To read the numbers yourself, click here. (It's a decent site, but the design and interface need a ton of work.)

FALL TV PREVIEW (Part 2)

There are plenty of new shows debuting on network television, and a few caught my eye. I've already watched two of them, but the third, unwatched show is the one I'm most excited about. (I'm also looking forward to the return of House tonight, and enjoyed the return of Heroes last night.)

Kid Nation (CBS, Wednesdays) I'll admit, I was only midly interested in watching this show. The hype surrounding it was deafening, and that usually turns me off. But then, two major pop cultural factors came into play: first, my cousin Sandra (the one with the twin daughters), gave the show a glowing reccomendation over dinner the other night; second, Elisabeth Hasslebeck (of the "world is flat" show, The View) voiced her opposition to the show... well, now I had to watch it. And I must say, I loved this show. I'm not all that into reality competition shows, but this one rocks! It, like many other reality show, exploits its participants. And the fact that the participants are kids would normally upset me - I don't think kids should be exposed to this world. But as evidence that childhood has changed over the last few decades, these kids know how to play the reality TV game as expertly as any adult. Overall grade: B+

Chuck (NBC, Mondays) The best thing this show has going for it is the fact that its on before Heroes. With nothing else to watch, and a hour to kill, I gave this geeky show a try. And talk about entertaining! has a premise that sounds pretty stretched beyond the limits of reason... and those limits were put to the test during the first episode. While several other shows seem cut from the same cloth Chuck seems like the most likely to catch on. CBS's The Big Bang Theory comes across as too cartoony, and will most likely not find an audience. The CW's Reaper boasts a better, more off-beat premise, and I might give it a try. But all three geek out of water storylines won't survive the onslaught of new show cancellations. I'm curious as to what will happen will all three shows, but for now, I'm only watching Chuck. My main fear with this show is how quickly this premise will wear thin. The writing could use a little punching-up, but I'm reserving judgement, as most pilots aren't indicative of the final product, when it comes to television shows.

Pushing Daisies (ABC, Wednesdays) This show is the most creative, visually interesting new show on TV this fall. Its on the schedule up against Kid Nation, but CBS is running KN again on Saturdays (at least for now), so my money is on Daisies. Normally, high-concept shows don't catch on with the general public, but they're usually not done well enough, or in an accessible manner. (Think Wonderfalls or Cop Rock.) But Daisies boasts a likeable cast, amazing visual effects and what seems like solid acting. I first became aware of this show when I saw a preview at the movies. This was brilliant move on ABC's part, as Daisies appeals to the savvy Friday-night movie crowd. The show premieres October 3, and I can't wait.

To read the first part of the Fall TV Preview, click here.

YOU SO CRAZY

From another BRI book, here's a collection of quotes all about crazy:

"We're all crazy and the only difference between patients and their therapists is the therapists haven't been caught yet." - Herman Hesse

"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." - Nora Ephron

"Do you know what crazy is? Crazy is majority rules!" - Jeffrey Goines

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Mark Twain'

"I don't buy temporary insanity as a murder defense. Breaking into someone's house and ironing all their clothes is temporary insanity." - Sue Kolinsky

Monday, September 24

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED



My older sister (lesbian, flight attendant) showed me this YouTube clip, and I've been laughing, and singing it ever since. And anyone else who has been exposed to it has been singing it, non-stop as well.

This one is for Laura. (Mom won another round of "Ticket To Ride" after you left, on Sunday.)

Sunday, September 23

AS IF THIS COULDN'T GET WORSE...

...along comes a report in the Los Angeles Daily News (a normally pro-Schwarzenegger, conservative paper) describing the illegal, immoral and corrupt deal he and his office just signed.

According to the paper, and sources inside several California governmental oversight offices, the state signed a contract with GM to begin using ethanol cars. Now, setting aside the Governor's relationship with GM (he's a paid spokesman for them), several other fishy facts come into focus:

1. GM had several meetings with the Governor's staff to set up a no-bid pilot program before making the purchases. They were the only company included in this new flex-fuel program.

2. Other car companies had mixed-fuel cars (the goal of the program was to lower California government pollution through cleaner resources). But only GM got to bid on the pilot program, and a contract was signed before the official bidding for the main purchase of vehicles was supposed to end.

3. California law prohibits any government or public program from using Ethanol because it is not readily available across the state's infrastructure. This law was altered, only days before the GM contract was announced, and without consulting the proper state agencies.

4. Special permits are required to develop and use alternate-fuel vehicles. Additional clearance is required to sell these cars and distribute the alternative fuels. The only car company with all the permits? GM. But oddly enough, their paperwork was in place before the government decided to make it legal to purchase such vehicles for state use... so when the law was changed, only GM had enough vehicles to meet the needs of California's fleet needs.

5. The pilot program was announced, and the final contract signed without the knowledge or permission of the proper state agencies.

Sadly enough, the reason why Schwarzenegger ran for office during the recall (according to him) was to bring open, honest government to our state's capitol. He said he wouldn't be beholden to special, corporate interests, and promised to end corruption and special treatment within the state government.

Friday, September 21

GOD BLESS AMERICA


Freedom of speech means the freedom to express any idea, no matter how vulgar, insensitive or unintelligent the idea may be...

I know you know this, but sometimes, I forget.

Thursday, September 20

BENNY HILL vs DISNEY



This is amateur footage, from Disneyland, of Pluto chasing a young boy around Main Street, USA. The reason for the chase is still unknown... but lucky for us, the folks over at Hollywood Press TV remixed it with the world famous Benny Hill Show chase song. (To see the original version of Benny's theme, click here. To see the original Pluto clip without the Benny Hill music, click here.)


This one is for the Sarah & Sophia

Wednesday, September 19

ON THE OTHER HAND...

There's been a great deal of hand wringing and head shaking over Britney Spears' less than stellar performance at the MTV VMAs. As the dust slowly settles — her lawyer and her manager have both dumped her — a great deal of ink (newspapers, magazines), hours of footage (TV, the web) and billions of pixels (the blogosphere) have been dedicated to picking apart the former pop queen's demise.

Another story rising from the ashes is the success of R&B artist Chris Brown, and the "amazing" performance he gave. Even Justin Timberlake, during the course of the show sang this young pop star's praises. But if you watch Brown's performance closely, two things stick out like Madonna at a Roshashana celebration:

1. Almost all of his moves are stolen from Michael Jackson. At one point, the music even samples "Billie Jean," while Brown recreates the moves from Jackson's earth shattering Grammy performance from years gone by. (So much for creativity.)

2. Chris Brown, like Spears, lip-synced his entire performance. Granted, he spent his on-stage time jumping, flipping and gyrating from one side of the stage to the other, which can make it hard to sing... but not impossible.

I guess I can forgive the first point, under the guise of, "homage." But the second point... why do we forgive (and praise, in some cases) Brown, but crucify Britney? Why the double standard? I'm not forgiving Britney for the lackluster performance, but I'm not about to crown Chris Brown as the next big thing, either.

SEPTEMBER SPAM

Here are actual SPAM email I received in my Yahoo! account:

67% of members got laid
And I think you're 100% full of sh!t

All-expenses-paid trip: Here are your 2 Oprah Winfrey show tickets
You know, I'm sad to say, I deleted this one without checking it... and the even sadder part is that I actually entered the contest on Oprah.com to win tickets to this season.

A question for you - Anna Nicole or Marilyn?
Neither! Steve McQueen.

Be like Ron Jeremy!
What, fat, hairy and a has-been?

You’ve Been Picked To Be A Mystery Shopper For The Month of September
The real mystery here is who would fall for this phishing expedition.

Hunk screws his mate in the bathroom
No thanks, I get enough of this on MSNBC's coverage of the Sen. Craig scandal!

Cynthia Gets Drill In Cartoon Box
I'm not sure why Cynthia recieved a drill as a gift, or what kind of box a "cartoon" box is, but (as always), grammar counts, people!

F*ck them and chuck them. These girls are paid to leave.
Really? So the sex is free?

Haven’t we met somewhere before, Zippersparks?
No. But nice try.

I Love Thee
Thou art a liar, and a scoundrel!

Tuesday, September 18

UPDATE: Teenie Weenie Emmys

According to The Los Angeles Times, this year's Emmy telecast audience was the second smallest... ever. Yes, in all 59 years, the year Ryan Seacrest was brought in to infuse the show with a broader, younger audience was the second worst viewer ratings.

And it turns out I was wrong when I said the ratings were off 3%. The correct number is 20%, or 3 million viewers. (Not that this makes things better for the folks over at Fox, or for Mr. Seacrest.)

FAMILY GUY, Part 1



This one is for Doug.

FAMILY GUY, Part 2



This one is for Julie

AND THE EMMY FOR BIGGEST FLOP GOES TO...

Fox and Ryan Seacrest! Yes, folks - I hate to say, "I told you so," but... OK, I actually have no problem saying it in this case: I was right, Fox was wrong. Ryan Seacrest, it turns out, did not attract a bigger, younger audience for this year's Emmy telecast.

Yes, this year's ratings dropped from last year's by over 3 per cent. Now, that may not sound like a lot, but in terms of a year-to-year ratings slide, that's huge... especially when you consider the fact that this show only comes on once a year, and was heavily hyped by Fox.

Perhaps (and one can only hope) Fox, and the entertainment community at large, will realize a couple of things:

1. Ryan Seacrest has no talent, whatsoever.
2. American Idol is a ratings winner, in spite of Ryan Seacrest.
3. I was right.

OK, maybe that last one won't sink in. But at least we can hope for the first two, right?

Monday, September 17

HEE HEE HEE

Thanks to the PNSexplosion for this picture.

Friday, September 14

THE TWO-COLOR VIEW

Not that I'm watching ABC's The View anymore or anything, but I was annoyed to hear about the fifth, new host on the show. Now, I don't have anything against what's-her-name, Sheri, or whatever. No, my issue is with the producers, and Baba Wawa.

With the millions of Latinos in the U.S., with their combined spending power and ratings potential as an audience, would it have killed them to pick a brown host, instead of another black one? Why keep pandering to one minority group? Worse yet, they've had an Asian, and an African American host, along with a slew of white hosts... one would think that ABC thinks The View shouldn't include Latinos or Latinas; that the only view they want is one of blacks and whites.

Racism takes all forms, and the fact that they continually underrepresented the single largest ethnic minority group in the nation (not to mention the fastest growing minority) speaks volumes. Latinos everywhere should boycott all the show's sponsors until they make amends. Period.

Thursday, September 13

SEPTEMBER (SECRET) TUNE


I usually start each month by posting a list of tunes I'm jamming to, or songs I think people should (and would) like to hear... but this month, I've been avoiding this particular post. Lately, my iPod has been pumpin' the ol'skool jams, and all other music listening revolved around soundtracks like Wicked, or High School Musical 2. (That last one is with my cousin's kids.)

But one new song has been on my mind, and in heavy rotation on my computer. Yes, as much as I hat to admit it, I'm really feelin' Britney Train-Wreck Spears' new tune, Gimme' More. Her vocals are (as in the past), canned and over produced, but the track still manages to shine. The smooth, sexy synth bass and dark, electro bubbles glide over the slick beats and sultry lyrics, creating a true pop experience. I don't know who is behind the track (yet), but as long as Britney cleans up her act, she has a real shot at surviving the current sh!t storm she finds herself in.

I'll post a list of classic, and nu-school jams later in the month.

Wednesday, September 12

SURVEY SAYS...

From the BRI's, a collection of Fast Money round answers from Family Feud. (That's the part, at the end of the show, where a single contestant answers a series of rapid-fire questions.) Here are some of my favorites:

Name a fruit that is yellow
Orange

Name a bird with a long neck
Naomi Campbell

Name a holiday when the stores are always busy
Monday

Name the first thing you take off after work
Underwear

Something that flies that doesn't have an engine
A bicycle with wings

A job around the house that has to be done every fall

Spring cleaning

Name a famous bridge

The bridge over troubled waters

HOPE YOU KEPT THE RECEIPT FOR THIS GIFT



I mean, yikes... how mad at you was the jerk who gave you this gift for X-mas?

Tuesday, September 11

IT'S ABOUT @#%IN' TIME!

The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (the folks who hand out the Emmys) finally came to their senses, and awarded the statue for Best Non-Competitive Reality Program to Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-List.

This funny lady busted her hump the few years, touring the country in comedy clubs, showing up on numerous TV shows and appearing at the opening of an envelope... and all this while being abandoned by her, "main gays," going through an ugly divorce, losing her father and dealing with the general mistreatment of Hollywood A-listers.

I love her show, I love her stand-up shows but most of all, I love her spirit. Kathy has remained - season after season, year in and year out - true to herself, and true to her fans. We love you, Kathy!

Monday, September 10

CLASH OF THE TIGHT-ABS

While cruising the interwebs today, I came across this great photo over at Perez Hilton's blog. I have to take back my comments about not adding to the shit storm surrounding Britney Spear's so-called comeback... this side by side comparison of Madonna and Britney, in the same outfit says it all.

And don't bother saying that Britney's body is in poor shape because she had a baby - Madonna still looks this good, and she's had children as well, albeit after this photo was taken.

Making matters worse, if you've seen both performances (Britney, last night, and Madonna, from The Girlie Show Down Under), you see an obvious difference between the two pop artists. If you haven't seen either performance, you can watch it here. To watch the Madonna performance, go to YouTube and search for "Fever" from the The Girlie Show concerts.

DOGPILE ON BRITNEY (And Other MTV Reactions)

I won't add to the shit storm that is the reaction to Britney Spear's performance on the MTV Awards. I will say that I watched... I made a point of tuning in, and (like the rest of the world) I was underwhelmed.

Yes, she seemed tired, under-energized and gave a half-ass performance. Yes she seemed pathetic relic; a has-been version of her former glorious self. But the same adjectives could (and should) be applied to the ceremony itself. Yes, the MTV Awards are a tired old show. And perhaps this was bound to happen. I mean, how long can anything remain fresh? How long can a concept continue to appear cutting-edge? How many years can an any institution claim to have the market cornered, when it comes to youthful innovation?

So yes, the Britney Spears we all knew is no more. But watching some of the other, poorly planned barely-performed entertainment on this year's MTV Awards all I could thing was, "how sad," and how I used to love watching the show. And no, I'm not saying this just because I'm older now. I genuinely love some of the music and performers honored at last night's ceremony.

Simply put: there was no opening act that could have saved the show - there is no opening number that could have resurrected the once-great Moonman ceremony - there is no way to restore anything past its prime. Moving the show to Vegas, while an improvement over the pathetic ceremony hosted in Miami a couple of years ago (you know, the one where Eva Longoria taunted and teased the storm, saying a little rain wasn't going to keep her from partying... that little storm named Katrina), the move on served to prove how desperate the producers must have been. There was nothing added to the show by moving locations. And Sarah Silverman, while charming at the MTV Movie Awards, seemed mean an callous this time around. But I don't know what I expected... this is, after all, the ceremony honoring music videos on a channel that doesn't even bother to play music videos anymore.

Saturday, September 8

RANDOM THOUGHT...

Has anyone else watched the show Ace of Cakes and wondered why none of them ever wear hair nets? I mean, sure, the lead cake-maker is bald but some of the others (like the girl with the glasses, and the rotund girl who cries all the time) have long, unkempt hair.

Thursday, September 6

CORRECTION/SHOUT-OUT

Just a quick update for the last post:

Yes, as Marc (Blogger profile here) noted in the comments, Battlestar Galactica doesn't debut until January. I didn't know where else to file it, other than the "Fall Preview" because very few other shows will bow during that month... or at least not enough to warrant writing about. You can check out Marc's blog here. (I would rate his blog PG-13, so enter only if you're not around small children or at work.)

I left one show off (mostly 'cuz I forgot it was going to debut): Project Runway. Yes, I'm excited to see it again, but it isn't the kind of show I can wax poetic about.

Stay tuned for more...

Wednesday, September 5

FALL TV PREVIEW, Part 1

The fall TV premieres are almost here, brining a new crop of crap... and a few hits, here and there. Before we dive back into the broadcast carnage, I though I'd dive into the returning shows I'm looking forward to (and why I'm looking forward to them). Here, in no particular order, are my Fall TV returning show picks:

Battlestar Galactica (Sci Fi) OK, so I said they were in no particular order, but there's a reason this Peabody Award winning show popped into my mind first: it is, in my humble and informed opinion, the best TV show currently on the air. The writing is above-average, the special effects and visuals are top-notch and the acting... well, there's lots of eye candy on this show, and plenty of good acting, as well. It's pretty hit and miss, from episode to episode - sometimes the acting is all solid, and other times, it has a mild, campy sci-fi feel (which isn't always a bad thing).

When last season ended, several plot points converged, bringing about a whole new round of questions... which would be great, if the new season wasn't jumping back to the start of the story (the mini-series, not season one) to tell the story of some of the other humans to survive a nuclear holocaust.

House, M.D. (Fox) While not quite the cliffhanger of last season, season three ended with some crucial questions surrounding television's favorite acerbic doctor, Gregory House. (By the way, unconfirmed reports given to the LA Times say Hugh Laurie, who plays House, was in the running to host the upcoming Emmy awards, but at the last minute Fox went with Ryan Seacrest. You can read my reaction to their decision here.)

I'm a late-comer to House fan-club, but now that I've seen all three, previous seasons, I can honestly say I think this is one of the best dramas on television. The writing and acting are some of the best (ever), and certainly the best on Fox.

House may or may not take home an Emmy or two this fall, but one thing you can count on is that I'll be tuned in to the season four premiere.

Ugly Betty (ABC) While I wasn't a huge fan of the number of breaks in between new episodes this show took last season, the final episode was enough to draw me back in for another look... at least for now.

The pure camp element of this show, combined with its everyday gay appeal make this a highly watchable show. And the capable cast manage to rise above the dishwater-ordinary, bad soap opera writing. (And I know, it is supposed to have a soap opera quality, but some of the dialog was so bad, I almost changed the channel, and never cam back.)

Heroes (NBC) Another show that I'm on the fence about watching this season, partly for its history of unnecessary breaks between episodes (I mean, it can't be that hard to make), and the new distraction tactics they're going to engage. In between the normal episodes continuing where last season left off will be unrelated episodes... with new characters that audiences will have the choice to vote on to the main show. Sound confusing? Convoluted? Sound like a stalling tactic? We'll have to tune in to the new season and see. (Hopefully, Sci Fi will run repeats of the new episodes, freeing me up to watch something else on Monday nights, catching Heroes on a later night in the week.)

Nip/Tuck (FX Networks) I'm on the fence about this show... but for personal reasons. I love this show: its over the top in all the right ways, sexy, smart and has a great metro sensibility. But this season, the fellas at Troy - MacNaWhatever have moved their practice to Hollywood (my place of birth, and former home) - which means plenty of Los Angeles-bashing... something I'll have a low thresh-hold for. Especially considering the show was previously set in the cultural and emotional wasteland that is Florida. I mean, come on. I know they're in the business of fake: fake boobs, fake faces, etc., but if L.A. is as superficial as people say, then a couple of plastic surgeons should fit right in... but, we'll see.

Stay tuned for the next installment...

THANK GOD FOR TIM GUNN!

Tomorrow night, Bravo TV will launch its new Fall Season with Tim Gunn's Guide To Fashion. While seemingly a conventional makeover show, this show boasts one thing no other show can: the involvement of former Parson's Chair of Fashion Design turned Liz Claiborne's chief creative director; none other than Project Runway's host with the most, Tim Gunn.

Known for his catch-phrases, "Make it work," and, "Carry on," Tim brought a unique perspective, classy, well-worded, urbane, witty and helpful eye to several seasons of Runway. He deserves, no, needs his own show. But not as much as some of the participants need his guidance. His motto for his new show is, "your style, my rules," which clearly shows what classy guy he is.

Tim Gunn's Guide To Style premieres Thursday, on Bravo, and tops the list of my Fall TV must-see programs.

Tuesday, September 4

JERRY'S KIDS, INDEED...

Recently, I was concerned my blog was on the verge of being too negative, too down on the world. Then, I woke up to the news today. Many stories in the day's new caught my eye, but only one sparked my outrage. Over the weekend, the MDA held its annual telethon to raise money. Like every year, the event was hosted by "comedian" Jerry Lewis. (I put it in quotes, because I never thought he was funny.)

Whether or not you like Lewis' films or live performances, there's no denying that he screwed this one up. During the course of his live telecast, he made a derogatory comment (he calls it a joke), referring to someone as an, "illiterate fag." He later offered a half-@ss apology, saying that anyone who knew him knew he didn't hold any prejudices against gays, and that he was sorry if anyone was offended. He didn't say he was sorry he said it.

This isn't the first time he's gone off the reservation... a few years back, he made a comment insinuating that women comedians couldn't be funny. When asked about the comment on Larry King's talkshow, he denied saying it, but clarified his belief that women, as life-givers couldn't be funny the way men could. And that he had never seen a female comedian he found funny.

Maybe someone should hold a telethon to help Jerry Lewis buy a clue.