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"That was extraordinary. Unfortunately, it was extraordinarily bad."
"You have invented a new form of torture."
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I prefer you when I close my eyes."
"I think you invented notes never ever heard before in music."
Contestant: "Why wasn't it good?"
Simon: "Because you sang it."
"When you entered this competition, did you really believe you become an American Idol? [Contestant nods.] Well, then, you're deaf. Good bye."
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