MAKE A RUN FOR...

The border? The toilet?

Jenny Whatshername, of Singled Out and Basketball fame, in her first autobiography discloses her love/hate relationship with Taco Bell. She loves the salty, sweet'n'nasty taste of cheap, mass-produced, but thanks to IBS, she has to run to the w/c as soon as the meal is done. I guess you could say she runs because she has the runs, but... well, I'm a little off the point. (There are several things about the first sentence of this paragraph that should scare and/or alarm you:

1. She wrote more than one book.
2. She wrote an autobiography (and got it published) when she was still in her mid- to-late 20s.
3. I actually read the damn book.

OK, go get a napkin so you can wipe-up whatever beverage you just spilled, or the tears running down your face because you're laughing at me now. But in all honesty, it was a good book, with a surprisingly positive message about body-image (she tells, in great deatil, the horror story that was her first boob job). I don't really understand what all the fuss was about, back when she was on Singled Out.

[For you youngsters out there who are scratching your head and wondering what I'm talking about: Singled Out was a horrid, mass-moron dating show on MTV, back in the days when they played music videos. I know, it's hard to imagine, the MUSIC television channel, actually playing MUSIC videos, but there was a time when they did... and then, slowly, so no one noticed, the began replacing the music with 'original programs' like... Singled Out. Our dear Jenny with the IBS was the 'co-host' of this show. Oh, just frackin' Google it, OK?]

While I never understood the reason everyone was so ga-ga over her (she openly enjoyed public activities no girl ever showed on TV before, like picking her nose and farting), one day I found myself sitting in my friend's living room, waiting for the rest of our faggle to show up for a night of fun... and there, was her book. (I read the whole thing in one sitting, before the first pitcher or Mai Tai got passed around, as it was mostly big, gross drawings.) I read the whole thing, and I enjoyed it.

Yeah, I liked it--enough to remember it to this very day. But reading her book is similar to my love affair with the Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supreme: I wouldn't want anyone to know I enjoy it as much as I do.