THE IDES OF SPAM

Here is your March helping of SPAM, from my Yahoo! email account:

She/He will love this yaap
No thanks, I'm fine with yapp I have now.

You are very beatifull, Zippersparks
Uh, thanks... I think.

Toon Chick Gets Messy Cartoon Facial Hard-core
I'm all for letting people have their own fetishes and/or special interests, but cartoons? C'mon...

Toni Childers Lets Your Dreams Come True
Who is Toni Childers? (And who does number two work for? And why is poo number two?)

Daters wanted
I don't have anything funny to say about this... I just added it because I thought it was kind of sad: what kind of person would respond to this email?

Oprah has it
Uh... no, too easy.

Have you ever thought of becoming a police officer?
Yes, honestly, I have. But there are a few, uh, issues I think they'd have with my past.

That buttrick is prevalent
What is a buttrick, and were/why is it so prevalent?

Jerrod Hott bangged by wildd horrses site
Don't know who that is, and I assume you mean, "wild horses." But if you cannot spell it, I doubt you can deliver it, not that I'd want to see it, but I'm just saying...

Don't be shy over your size
I'm not shy, so much as I have the basic decency not to take pictures of it, and put it all over the web.