Wednesday, October 15


So I was bad student, and I had a couple of overdue library books this week.

No biggie, right? I just braved the fires (everywhere, now, thanks), the smoke-filled air and bad-parking and made my way over to the liberry, all prepared to square this away. I owed a whopping $2.30 in fees, so I whipped out my wallet to pay, and I was told, "no."

No? What do you mean, no? I owe, I should pay... isn't that how this works? That's how it works everywhere else (just ask CitiBank). I was promptly informed the university forgives all student fees under $4.00 at the end of the semester. "So as long as you don't rack-up any more fees, you're cool," the young desk clerk told me.

No, that's not how it works. (Right?) So they sent me over to the "Fees & Fines Window." (Nice, that's more like it.) I surrendered my student ID, and got out my $3.00, all ready to pay the fine for having overdue books.

"No, man... you're cool," said that slack-jawed, young(er) desk clerk at this new window. Why yes, yes I am... thank you. But I'd like to pay my fee now. "No, man... I mean, you're cool. Don't worry about it."

I had him call over a supervisor, who explained that it costs more than $4.00 to collect fees, so anything less than that was forgiven at the end of the semester. Yes, I get that. I'd like to pay this fee so as to prevent me from reaching that $4 limit... the semester is far from over.

Long story short(er): they would not take my money. School-funding crisis? What school-funding crisis?

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