MY TOP TEN SPAM FLAVORS (THIS WEEK)

Yes, these are all real subject lines from my email I’ve collected in the past week, or so. In no particular order, here are my favorites:

Second notification Raymond
Well, at least they tried to trick me into opening it by putting a real person’s name. What are the odds they got that right? On BabyNames-dot-whatever, it said there were over 11,000 registered names… 11,000, and they chose Raymond? Well, everybody does love him, after all.

It doesn`t hurt to check Ferdinand
OK, make that 10,998 names left on the list. At least they tried to mix it up, with an ethnic(ish) name, right?

Fix your situation Edna
Oh, now you’re not even trying! (But make that 10, 997 names left to try!)

Deep penetration into ass of schoolgirl
Hmm. Tempting, but no. (Deep penetration? Why deep? Why not first-time, or ch#rry-popping penetration? I mean, that rolls off the tongue in a much more titillating manner, wouldn’t you say?)

iTunes Music Store New Music Tuesday: Dave Matthews Band, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and more
Oh, wait… that’s a real one. Hold on—OK, there, I changed my spam filter.

Returning customer
Hmm, the vague approach. Not gonna work on me, but I have to give points for trying.

Cute teenie spreading holes in the park
Now, this one, I almost opened, only to find out if they meant teenagers digging holes in their local municipal recreation spots but I know better than that!

Exclusive panty pixs message from Forest Dodge
Who the hell is Forest Dodge? I mean, with a name like Forest, this could be a really slutty girl who can’t keep her panties on, or a (really f*cked-up) newscaster on some NBC affiliate. Tough call, but since its “panty” pixs, and not, “pixs of panties,” I’m gonna have to pass.

Bisecual faackfest acttion adducted heeds
I have NO idea what that means, but it made me giggle, so it makes the list.

And the winner is:
All love enhancers on one portal!
What? I may actually have to check this out, only to see if they mean there are a bunch of dildos and junk, all stuffed into ONE person’s butt/p&ssy. Ha!

Have spam you wanna share? Send me an email. Happy hunting!