HIDDEN TREASURES...

After hearing the guys over on the PNSexplosion talk about how much they love the low-rated, critical darling 30 Rock, I decided to check it out for myself. NBC loaded the entire season onto their site, where they can be viewed for free. It took an episode or two for me really get into the show, but I ended up watching all 22 episodes over the course of the last 5 weeks or so. (Oh, do the math, you lazy thing you.)

While Tina Fey and which ever Baldwin brother is in the show were fine, the breakout star of the show is Saturday Night Live alumnus Tracy Morgan. While I actually cannot remember a single skit he did during his time on SNL (143 episodes, according to IMDB), I absolutely loved him in this show.

The writing on 30 Rock (short for 30 Rockefeller Plaza, the address of NBC in New York City) is top-notch, but it is the acting that takes this show to the next level. There are moments where the humor is a little narrow, and wouldn't play outside of true TV and film buffs, but the general appeal of the characters and the story lines are broad enough to draw in a larger audience that it did in its first year. Despite dismal ratings, the network renewed 30 Rock for another season.

I, for one, will be watching.

DOMO ARIGATO MR. ROBOTO

I was watching the news today, and while flipping around during the commercial break I cam across a documentary on Leonardo da Vinci and his many inventions.

While exploring the intricacies of some of the crude machines he built, they called in a, "ancient robotics expert." While I understand the actual, literal and academic meaning of this title... I laughed my @ss off anyway. I mean, imagine how absolute nerdtastic you'd sound at a party, meeting someone new:

Nice to meet you. What is it you do for a living?

Me? Oh, I'm an ancient robotics expert.

Uh, yeah. Of course you are. And I'm an ancient Roman bowling alley and Nintendo expert. I mean, the Mario Brothers are Italian, after all. Someone please sound the nerd alert.


Epilogue: A simple search, of both Google and Wikipedia for the term, ancient robots, turned up some wonky Google matches and the following Wiki-matches: robot, list of fictional robots and androids, list of Doctor Who robots, Lego Exo-Force, Transformers: Robots in disguise and List of Astro Boy episodes. Who, exactly declared Wikipedia useful?

OH, GET A CLUE

Long-time last-place network NBC underwent a major shake-up in the ranks of its upper-level brass this year, in the hopes of pulling itself out of last place. One of the new major players is a man by the name of Ben Silverman, who is best known for co-producing hits like The Office and Ugly Betty... and some But his first few moves since taking over have been iffy, at best:

*He resurrected The Apprentice, which was canceled after a meteoric fall in the ratings.

*He stated one of his main goals as, "bringing sexy back." (This is a quote from a Justin Timberlake song... and a bad one at that.)

*He is responsible for the removal of a major creative player at NBC, only days before the shows this man worked on garnered a slew of Emmy nominations... shows the network was going cancel, under Silverman's guidance. (He has since denied firing the creative team member, saying it was simply a matter of timing.)

*He hired Isaiah Washington for The Bionic Woman remake, slated for NBC this fall, after he was fired from ABC. He said he, "didn't understand" why Washington had been let go, and that it "didn't make sense" to him - a move ABC executives labeled as a sign that Silverman was either, "clueless or just plain stupid." (Which would be a little more palatable, had it come from a network not trying to launch a sitcom based on the Geico cavemen.)

Overall, the new schedule at NBC hasn't even been screened yet, and it seems doomed. Don't get me wrong: Silverman had very little to do with the shows NBC will roll out this fall. But if these past few weeks are any indication of the quality of leadership Silverman will bring to the once, former-proud peacock network... they're going to stay in last place.

SNEAK PEEK

During the most recent Comic Book Convention, also called Comic-Con, hosted in San Diego, we got our first peek at the next Tim Burton - Johnny Depp movie. They are teaming up for a movie version of Sweeey Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - the musical.

After Assassins, this is Stephen Sondheim's most misunderstood, darkest work. (His most disastrous, yet oft performed show is Merrily We Roll Along, which I've seen, own the soundtrack to, have performed excerpts from at a UCLA Showcase.) I'm beyond excited to see how these two do, teaming up for this show.

If you want to see an, uh, interesting version of a number from this show - one starring George Carlin and Ben Affleck - then you'll have to sit through all of Jersey Girl... which I don't recommend doing on a full stomach. Or an empty one.

Either way, the bar for Mr. Depp and Mr. Burton is set... and if you know how rabid (and difficult to please) Sondheim fans are, you know just how high that bar is.

MURDER AS ENTERTAINMENT

Spike TV plans to make CSI fans put their money where their mouth is with the new reality production, Murder: Real People Solving Real Crimes. On this show, participants are given access to crime scenes, present at actual autopsies and presented with real clues... and are given the opportunities to solve murders.

It isn't clear, from the promo spots and Spike web site, whether or not these murders are already solved, and the contestants merely have to repeat the outcome, or if these are new crimes. The one commercial I saw showed participants grossing out during an autopsy. I'm guessing much of the grime and gristle of crime is going to come to a shock of CSI fans. CBS's series of crime solving shows heavily sanitizes and over-dramatizes the hard work of working in homicide. The hard working men and women off our county's homicide departments don't have the glamorous working conditions we see on TV (well, maybe Law & Order comes close), so it is nice to see a slice or reality on the TV schedule. We'll see if people actually tune in to watch it.

QUESTION & ANSWER

One of the questions I get most often is, "Where Do You Get Your Music From?" The real answer is, multiple sources. I've been known to special order vinyl from all over the country, and even out of the country. I wonder if the question they're really asking is where do you find your music?

I listen to a number of podcasts, not all of them musical in nature. But that's still a great source of free, new music. You can download music podcasts (DJ mixed, or otherwise) from iTunes for free. I also have a few music blogs I frequent. And I also watch BET, VH1 and (my personal favorite) MTV Tr3s. (That's channel 63 for those of you on Direct TV.) You don't have to watch TV all day to get the inside scoop on new tunes. Each of the channels I mentioned has one (or more) programs highlighting new artists and new tunes. While less effective than other methods, it is nice to actually watch music videos. So few "music" channels (MTV and VH1) show music anymore. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to see music on VH1.

But the most reliable source for discovering new music (as far as I've found) is the internets. Simply going online to the iTunes store (via the application itself), and sampling the new music offerings is pretty simple. And, there's an option where you can have an email sent to you every week. The site offers 30 second previews of all tracks, so its pretty risk-free. Another great (and cheap) site is Go Music.

There's no international body governing web-based music buying, so (for now) this is a great option. They actually have a wider, more diverse selection of albums and singles, and don't have digital copying protection on the music tracks, so you can burn copies, move it to your MP3 player and multiple machines across a network without restriction. You also have the option of selecting what MP3 tags come with your downloaded tune. The drawback? You have to set up an account via a credit card, and the anti-theft measures take a couple of days to set up. After that, it's all music, all the time.

LOVING HARRY POTTER

The last two or three weeks of television news were completely dominated by tales of the world's favorite boy wizard, Harry Potter. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows much-hyped release, possible leaks and general Potter mania drowned out all other, legitimate news stores. (Like, oh, I don't know... our failure in Iraq, the continued immoral and illegal behavior of our executive branch, and airplane disaster, two colliding helicopters, murders and a couple of kidnappings.) But who cares anyway? We're talking about the final Harry Potter, right?

And what was the general reaction of the public at large, after reading the book? A collective, let-down shrug. I know several people who stayed up late, into the wee hours of the night to finish the book, and they all had the same reaction: Ehhh. Not that it was awful, but it wasn't spectacular.

So now what? Will this past decade and a half period of reading enthusiasm translate into anything else? Will the children of the world continue to read, finding other books to stimulate their imagination, furthering their emotional and academic growth? Will they grow, as readers and as people, to explore new horizons in and outside the boundaries of fiction? Or are they caught up in the book-turned-movie hype machine; is this a one-time, last-ditch effort by our society to redeem its academic soul; the last gasp of our movement towards an intelligent society, one in which we value reading, imagination and the spirit of the free individual?

Where is Professor Sybil when you need her?

JULY'S HELPING OF SPAM

The following are actual subject lines from email sent to my Yahoo! Account:

For most men, an explosive and mind-blowing orgasm doesn’t happen every time.
No, but for those who do have one, it seems to happen sort of quickly, doesn't it?

Housewife Showing & Licking Huge T!ts
Grammar, people, grammar! Are said breasts being show hers, or do they belong to someone else?

Celeb Anne Heche Lesbian do it & Showing T!ts.
OK, class... there are two things wrong with this sentence... can anyone name the them? (Anne Heche is neither a lesbian, nor is she what I would call a celebrity.)

Add 3 inches in length!
Which got me excited until I got the following email:
Add 4 inches in length!
Gain Up to 6 or more inches
Gain Up to 8 or more inches

Vegetarians not welcome. My throat is hot and hungry for your 9 inches of man meat
Gee, what pill was he taking?

I’ve got a 12 inch jocose acute
Don't know what it is, so I don't know if having as 12 inch one is impressive.

I’ve got a 12 inch kerry newell
Hmm... same problem. Don't know if I should be impressed or not.

I’ve got a 12 inch parody
Now that's funny!

Shhh Did you hear about How BIG he was?
Yes, but I still don't know what pill he took!

I'VE BEEN SIMPSONIZED!

Check out this Simpsons version of me, courtesy of Fox and Burger King! To celebrate The Simpsons Movie, out tomorrow, Burger King has launched a site which will convert your picture into a Simpsons character. You can change the clothes, choose backgrounds from the TV show, and make desktops from your art. If you want to make your own Simpsons character, click here.

NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL TELEVISION

I watched the first episode of FX Networks' Damages, starring Glen Close and Tate Donovan... talk about outstanding television making! The writing was top-notch, the acting was extraordinary - it has been a while since I've seen television this well-made.

Yes, having Academy Award winning actress, and all-around diva Glen Close helped... OK, it didn't just help, it rocked. But the supporting cast, including Ted Danson, were outstanding.

Every time I thought I knew where the plot was heading, it took a twist in another direction. Not in a contrived, so out of left-field you don't believe it, but a believable, interesting plot twist.

If you're at all interested in this show, don't worry, you can still get it on it. The premiere episode will be rebroadcast on FX, on Sunday at 10:00 pm.

GAYEST EPISODE... EVER?

The most recent episode of Kyle XY (and yes, Marz, I watched it later) revolved around a gay couple at Kyle's high school who are banned from the Spring dance, and the student prejudices and responses that follow.

While I applaud the producers, and certainly ABC Family (the network), for braving such a hot topic, it was handled pretty poorly. I'm not sure what I expected from a show with mediocre writing and heartfelt, but barely believable acting.

Problem #1: They never really showed the "gay" kids. They were pointed at (off screen), and intimated at (at the alternative dance), but they were never dealt with directly. They were talked about, argued about and the subject of much speculation... but why have an episode about gay high school kids, without ever showing them? What are these guys afraid of?

Problem #2: The writing. It was worse than normal. I know, I know... why watch the show? Well, I did give up on this show, a week ago, but Victoria Beckham: Coming To America got canceled (thanks, NBC) and it was late. I mean, like 1 a.m., and I couldn't sleep. But if you're going to spend all this money on a show, shoot on location, take out 15-story high billboards on the side of buildings advertising this show... why no hire some decent writers? Or a decent director?

The only good thing I can say about this episode is that despite this major detour, the main plot actually nudged forward a little. But only a little.

F**CK YOU TOO, AMERICA!

Well, I just saw the weekend box office tally: I was hoping that we, as a country, had grown past our fascination with homophobia... but it appears we have not.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry, or Homophobia! The Movie, as I like to call it was number one at the box office. Maybe people just really like Adam Sandler. I mean, he occasionally is entertaining. Or maybe it was a deep desire to see Rob Schneider do a racist impression of an Asian man. Or maybe they just really miss ol' fatty boom batty from The King of Queens. (There is a really great, deep well of jokes to be had with that part, but I'll spare us all.)

All I can say is that it is summer, and people's brains are obviously on vacation... or as a country, we just need to grow the hell up!

SAD, SAD NEWS...

I was devastated when I learned of Tammy Faye Messner's recent passing. She was a wonderful woman, a true one-of-a-kind spirit. I had the chance to meet her at the Sundance Film Festival, when she was there promoting the documentary about her, The Eyes of Tammy Faye. Aside from being a great film (it was made by two of my all-time favorite indie filmmakers), it really showed how amazing she was. And how little the public really understood about her struggles, both private and public.

A number of years later, she was on The Surreal Life, on VH-1. She gave an amazing speech to a group of gays and lesbians about hurt, and forgiveness. You could tell she had really been through a tough time in her life, but still managed (somehow) to focus on love; let her efforts focus solely on God's message of everlasting and eternal love and understanding.

She will be missed.

TWO OF THE DARKEST HOURS IN AMERICAN HISTORY

The news today has been all a-buzz about with a story that scares the hell out of me. Tomorrow, President Bush will undergo a routine colonoscopy, which requires a general anesthetic... for which the U.S. Constitution requires a written transfer of power, from the president to the vice-president. Which means that for two hours or so, the country will be under the control of a man who:

*shot another man, at close range, confusing him for hunting prey

*may have committed treason by exposing a CIA field operative's name to press (we'll never know the truth about this one, thanks to his covert cover-up of the actual activities he engaged in)

*told a U.S. Senator to fuck off... on the floor of the U.S. Senate, while the session was being broadcast on live TV

*declared himself above the constitution, refusing constitutionally mandated congressional oversight of his office;

*created his own, fourth (illegal) branch of government doing so.

And that's just the crap we know about. It may only be two hours, but it will be two hours when I will actually be praying for President Bush's continued health and safety.

ADVENTURE IN THE (619)

Planet Unicorn... hey! Good, if last minute, news just came my way. Despite my bah-humbug attitude towards Gay Pride these past few years, I will be going to Pride in San Diego this weekend. My sister (older; flight attendant; lesbian at large) has a layover there, so I'm gonna drive down there, and hoop it up. I have a few friends in S.D., so this should be fun.

Of all the Pride fests I've been to (not including the short-lived, under-attended Simi Valley one), San Diego is probably my favorite. Its late in the summer, so people from all over the country attend; the "official" ones in June (Gay History Month), are all on the same weekends, or worse - on father's day. I mean, given the choice between my dad and hanging out with a bunch of Marys... that's not a difficult choice. During June, it is almost a competition between the major Gay cities (San Francisco, Los Angeles, Chicago and New York) to get the best DJs, the biggest (make that the most D-list) celebs and the biggest crowds. But by the time San Diego rolls around, the competitiveness is out of everyone's systems and we can just...celebrate.

OH MY GOD, I'M IN LOVE

I've given up all together on ABC Family's Kyle XY... so I had a gap in my weekly TV digestion schedule. And lucky me, over on NBC was the premiere of Victoria Beckham: Coming To America. (You can check the show out here.)

Now, I must admit to a couple of items before I wax poetic over Mrs. Beckham's reality show. First (and foremost), I've always been a Posh Spice. I mean, come on, she had the best lines in the Spice Girl movie, Spice World. (Can we take a moment out and squirrel out over the reunion of the Spice Girls? How much fun is that going to be?) The other thing I must say - and this should come as a surprise to no one - but I think her hubby is one of the hottest pieces of manliness on the face of the planet.

And even though this series is only a few weeks long, and focuses mainly on the Mrs., I thought I would give it a try. I was not disapointed. This show was funny, heartwarming and interesting to watch. And no, I won't go into detail... just watch the show yourself. I will say this: Posh had to deal with some pretty crazy-ass stuff in her first episode, but she deals with it all with a cheery sense of humor, grace and class. And she uses the word, "major" the way we would use, "cool."

McNUGGETS CAUSE RETARDATION

Obviously, these guys (from the Chicago Improv group Baby Wants Candy), have suffered some sort of mental defect after eating too many McDonald's meals.

THE HARRY POTTER QUIZ

Think you know the world's most famous wizard? Here's a simple quiz, from Sunday's Parade Magazine. The cover of the magazine featured Emma Watson, who plays Hermoine Granger in the new installment, out this week.

For the answers to this quiz, click here. For a more advanced version of the quiz, click here. (And I fully expect you to take the quiz and check your answers... this means you, Julie.)

1. What sport do they play at Hogwarts?
a) broom ball
b) rugby
c) cricket
d) quidditch

2. When was the first Harry Potter book released in the U.S.?
a) 1999
b) 1998
c) 1997
d) 1996

3. What does the "J" in "JK Rowling" stand for?
a) Janine
b) Jillian
c) Joanne
d) Jessica

4. True or false: J.K. Rowling is worth more than the Queen of England.

5. What's the highest number of Harry Potter books sold in the U.S. in one 24-hour period?
a) 6.9 million
b) 5 million
c) 2.7 million
d) 7.8 million

6. Which of these is not a name of a Harry Potter book?
a) Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix
b) Harry Potter & The Glass Prophecy
c) Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince
d) Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows

7. Official translations exist in all the following languages except:
a) Ancient Greek
b) Russian
c) Estonian
d) Zulu

8. What is the highest grossing Harry Potter movie to date?
a) Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone
b) Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets
c) Harry Potter & The prisoner of Azkaban
d) Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire

For the answers to this quiz, click here.

AFTER-THOUGHT: Live Earth & The PCDs

As I was plodding along on the treadmill this morning, shaking my butt to the Pussycat Doll's Buttons, I remembered something I wanted to talk about in my review of the Live Earth Concert. (See below for review.) Despite what the Los Angeles Times said in this morning's paper, it was not, I repeat not, an uplifting experience. An interesting experiment in multi-continent concerts and global awareness, but I didn't feel like running out and recycling (I do that anyway), and I most certainly didn't feel like voting for Al Gore, or any other tree-hugger.

But what really left a bitter (confused) taste in my mouth was the Pussycat Dolls performance, from London. Don't get me wrong, I loved that they performed a hybrid slow-to-fast version of Buttons, including the Dave Aude remix I highlighted in this month's tunes. No, what annoyed me was the fact that they were the only group to use backing tracks. (If you don't know what backing tracks are, it is a polite way of saying, "lip syncing.") While lead singer, What's Her Name did her best, it ended up being an out of breath, out of tune performance. At one point, the PCDs didn't even bother trying to match the music; they just danced around, holding their microphones as music magically poured out of the sound system.

But what really chapped my hide was the type of backing tracks used: full vocals. Why bother singing live, over a full set of vocals. I mean, I can forgive the back-up dancers (read: the rest of the group) for not singing: they were busting their barely dressed humps all over the huge stage. But the lead singer also had backing tracks, and gave a huffy, flat performance. The crowd seemed to enjoy it enough (this is usually the best way to judge of a performance), but why bother? Even lifetime lip sync artist Madonna went all-out, both singing, dancing, and even playing the guitar on one track. She had the crowd jumping up and down on her first song, Ray of Light, and had them singing along to the breakdown of Hung Up. Her voice wobbled a few times, and during her extended guitar solo, she made the mistake of running up and down the stage, which left her out of breath when returning to the mike. But at least she tried. Pussycat Dolls: try harder, please!

CONCERT REVIEW: Live Earth

I had a chance to catch a large portion of the Live Earth concert this weekend. It was a multi-nation all day concert to raise awareness of the global climate crisis. The idea came from former Vice President (and Presidential Loser) Al Gore. Artists from a wide range of fields donated their time and talents for this event... which is nice to see.

The performances were great, for the most part. Highlights included Rhianna from Tokyo, Madonna from London, and Duran Duran, also in London. Some rather disappointing sets came from the normally entertaining Ludacris (New York) and the not-so-great live, reunited Black Eyed Peas (London - although, to be fair, London had some sound problems that seemed to affect the singers' ability to hear the band anytime they went beyond the proscenium.) Most of the performers had to fight the hassle of light crowds; most of the daytime venues were less than 2/3 full until the sun went down. While this doesn't really strike me as unusual (who wants to go to an all-day musical festival during the day when the best acts are on at night?), it surprised me to see how many performers were affected by it.

Shakira gave a spotty, but entertaining set. Also turning in a set of questionable quality was Bon Jovi. They sounded great on their old tunes, like Living On A Prayer, and not so great on their newer, lesser-known material. The award for the weirdest performance comes from Beijing: a group that was a mix of classical strings and bad techno, 12 Girls, played a mix of Beethoven covers set to bad dance beats. Bringing up the caboose of the crap train was the tone-deaf, more shouting than singing Melissa Ethridge and a severely under energized performance from Garth Brooks, featuring Al Gore in the background, clapping on the wrong beat.

But what stood out the most (in the bad way), was the coverage. MSNBC offered live coverage, without live comments, and seemed to be broadcasting live. MTV broke into an all-day marathon of America's Next Top Model with live reports from New York, but never showed any performances. They interviewed a bevy of nobodies, a cavalcade of would-be stars... who were all awful interviews. It was basically a series of, "uh" and "umm" tied together with random comments about how, "totally important" the environment is, and stuff. Bravo offered the most comprehensive coverage, jumping from continent to continent, but you had to suffer though the idiotic babbling of the two "hosts" who spent most of the day in NYC, talking to... each other.

Overall, the day was entertaining, without being overly-preachy, which had been my big fear. I would say that the event might improve next year, but hopefully we won't need a concert like this every year to remind us to treat the planet better... maybe we'll just start treating the planet better. But until then, I'd give the Live Earth experience a grade of B-.