MINT GUM ISN'T VERY HIP HOP

The first time I heard Chris Brown's Forever, I had two thoughts: 1) Nice over-use of the vocoder, and 2) did he just sing, "double your pleasure, double your fun"? And the answer, to the second question is, yes... he just used the Doublemint Gum theme as lyrics for his song. I'll ignore how over-used vocoders are right now on the R&B scene, and simply focus on the totally unoriginal, sell-out lyrics of this song. I know that is common place for musicians to shill for big corporations these days: Madonna had that SunSilk commercial, and (even though I don't consider them actual musicians), The Pussycat Dolls have a new campaign for Bally's Fitness. But those campaigns were designed after the songs came out, not the other way around.

And just this week, I saw a commercial for (wait for it)... Chris Brown singing Forever in a Doublemint Gum commercial.

WELL SOMEBODY'S MEAT IS MOVING

On the freeway home from school today, I saw a truck labeled Meatheads Moving Co.... Professionally Trained Student Athlete Movers. OK, I'm going to ignore the ambiguous subtitle (are the professionally trained athletes or professionally trained athletes?), and focus on the concept itself. The yummy, tasty idea of big, athletic lunkheads coming into your home and moving you out/in. The driver of the truck wasn't all that attractive, but a quick trip to their web site found, well, uh... this:

If I have to explain why this is a great photo, well, you're either a) not very bright, or b) new to my blog.

DID YOU THINK THIS THROUGH?

Dispatcher: "911. What's the address of your emergency?"
Caller: "Can I give you my credit card number over the phone to pay on my warrant?"
Dispatcher: "What's the offense?"
Caller: "Credit card fraud."

-from What's The Number For 911, a collection of 911 transcripts collected by Leland Gregory

SPIDER SKANK

I forgot about this show (Mystery Science Theater 3000) until I stumbled upon this clip over on Bonjour Pee Wee (here). Great stuff. They need to bring this show back.

NUMBER TWO!

Canada, our neighbors to the north, are the 35th most populous nation in the world, comes in second in a number of other categories... a surprising number of categories, actually. Here are just a few:

Canada was the 2nd country to legalize marijuana (1st: Belgium)
Canada has the 2nd coldest national capitol (1st: Mongolia)
Canada has the 2nd highest University enrollment rate (1st: United States)
Canada has the 2nd most tornadoes (1st: United States)
Canada is 2nd in pork exports (1st: Denmark)
Canada has the 2nd highest amount of gum chewed per capita (1st: United States)
Canada has the 2nd highest broadband internet access in the world (1st: South Korea)
Canada was the 2nd country to publish a National Atlas (1st: Finland)
Canada has the 2nd highest computer use per capita (1st: United States)
Canada has the 2nd highest water quality (1st: Finland)
Canada has the 2nd most biotech companies (1st: United States)
Canada is the 2nd largest exporter of red meat (1st: Australia)
Canada has the 2nd highest incidence of breast cancer (1st: United States)
Canada is the 2nd most workaholic nation in the world (1st: Japan)
Canada has the 2nd most foreign visitors to Texas (1st: Mexico)
Canada has the 2nd largest oil reserves in the world (1st: Saudi Arabia)
Canada has the 2nd highest proportion of immigration population (1st: Australia)
Canada has the 2nd highest cable TV access (1st: Belgium)
Canada is the 2nd largest producer of greenhouse gases (1st: like you have to ask!)

But Canada is also number one in a number of other things... click here to read that (shorter) list.

GOLD MEDAL

My cousin's husband worked on the Beijing Olympics (and the Torino, Sydney games, and will work on the upcoming Vancouver and London games), and gave me this amazing, limited edition Collector's Edition Gold Medal. It different than the ones the athletes got, but hey... how many other people can say they have a Gold Medal?

JACK IN MY BOWL

OK, I admit it: I fell for Jack In the Box's latest marketing ploy. I tried Jack's new Breakfast Bowl this weekend. The picture above is what Jack In the Box says the bowls look like, the picture below is what it actually looks like. But even with this deception (and the doubtless overkill of calories, fat and sodium), the Hearty Breakfast bowl was pretty darn good. I can't say that I'll be ordering it again anytime soon, as I'd like to avoid a heart attack, but I can recommend this item as a great meal for the morning after a wild night, or as a meal if you're trying to build muscle mass, and don't really care about definition.
Oh, and my sister (blog here) recommends Jack's new mango smoothie.

"GAY ROBOT" PILOT, Pt. 1

I found this over on Boomtacular, and it made me laugh.

MIN-MUSIC POST #1

I don't have time for full-out music posts anymore (school started today), so instead of monthly posts, I'll just blog about any songs stuck in my head, or rockin' my 'pod.

The Magic [Single Version] Robin Thicke - I must admit, I'm not a big fan of the new Robin Thicke. I prefer his first sound (but not look), back when he was schilling Sprite, or whatever. But I do find myself walking around, doing the dance from the video, hearing the music in my head and singing the chorus over and over. Having said that, this is an incredibly repetitive song and not all that imaginative (basic disco/house groove). But it is a rocking, basic groove.

I'm Yours [Album Version] Jason Mraz - Jason Mraz is one of those artists I hear from time to time, and I like his music when I hear it, but never remember to browse his stuff in iTunes or Amazon. So, since he has a new album out, I thought I'd add him to my August music To-Do list. And I love the name of his new album.

Criminal [Single Version] Justin Nozuka - Justin Nozuka (aside from being a cutie) was the VH1 Artist of The Month a while back, is a great end-of-summer album. I chose Criminal because if you have an Amazon.com account, you can download this track for free.

WRITE-IN CAMPAIGN

I'm officially kicking off a write-in campaign for Paris Hilton (President) and Al Sharpton (Vice President) for the 2008 Presidential Election.

OH, REALLY?

MSNBC's coverage of the lead-up to the Democratic National Convention had a number of talking heads on this morning. One yahoo (didn't catch his name), said the, only people holding out on voting for Obama in the Democratic Party at this point were, "uneducated, lower-class, white voters," who, "didn't like Obama in the first place."

Well, I know for a fact, they're wrong on all three counts. I'm educated, middle class(ish), and non-white (unless you count my summer sock tanline, but even then, that's more of a light-tanish color).

To make matters worse, I know a few Obama supporters who have now begun to doubt their initial decision to support him. In the last couple of years that I've been tuning into MSNBC for my mid-morning/lunch time news, I haven't known them to get things wrong, and never this wrong.

But I still love me some Keith Oberman, so I'll give 'em another chance.

I'D LIKE TO JOIN THIS BOOK CLUB

Russel Ash and Brian Lake compiled a list of unusual book titles, called Bizarre Books. Here are some of the real-life book titles they found:

What To Say When You Talk To Yourself (1982) Shad Helmstetter

What Do Bunnies Do All Day? (1988) Judy Mastrangelo

The Romance of Proctology (1938) Charles Elton Blanchard

How To Become A Schizophrenic (1992) John Modrow

Teach Yourself Alcoholism (1975) Meier Glatt

Not Worth Reading (1914) Sir George Compton Archibald Arthur

How I Know That The Dead Are Alive (1917) Fanny Ruthven Paget

Hepatopancreatoduodenectomy (1996) F. Hanyu

Warfare In the Enemy's Rear (1963) O. Heilbrunn

THE DUKE OF HAZZARD

Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and husband to Queen Elizabeth II is, shall we say, less than polite and well-behaved in public. His gaffes, often insulting, and always entertaining, were collected by th BRI, and presented here, for your enjoyment:

To a driving instructor in Scotland: "How do you keep the natives off booze long enough to get them through the thest?"

To a chubby 13-year-old boy at a space exploration exhibit, pointing to a space capsule: "You'll have to lose weight if you want to go in that."

To a tourist, during a state visit to Hungary: "You can't have been here long, you've no potbelly."

On the "key problem" facing Brazil: "Brazilians live there."

To a smoke-detector activist who lost two of her children in a house fire: "My smoke alarm is a damn nuisance. Every time I run my bath, the steam sets it off and I've got firefighters at my door."

Speaking to British students studying in China: "If you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed."

THAT SETTLES IT!

I'm writing in Paris Hilton for President. (Her energy plan makes the most sense, anyway.)

Obama had the perfect opportunity to include those of us who didn't vote for him in the upcoming election, but no... he chose another old, white, life-long politician as his running mate.

If you go back and look at the popular vote in the Democratic Primaries, Obama only won by a couple of hundred thousand... hardly a mandate, and certainly not a good enough reason to ignore those of us who did not vote for him.

Sorry, Obama, but if you lose now, it is no one's fault but your own.

SPANISH EYES

As the 29th Olympic Games draw to a close, many moments stand out as memorable. From the Chinese girl deemed, "not attractive enough" to sing at the opening ceremonies (a cuter girl was sent out on stage to lip sync), the underage Chinese girls competing in gymnastics, or the dominant ethnic tribe promising to share the spotlight, and then... not doing so, the games offered many shining moments of great humanity.

But one such moment, not perpetrated by the host nation (and not regarding Michael Felch), came from Spain's Basketball team. While posing for team photos, they all grabbed their eyes and pulled the skin to create the look of Asian eyes. The photo caused quite an international stir, and various different responses, from outrage to dismissal. I for one, was proud to see some nation, other than the United States, offending international sensibilities for once.

GOING FOR GOLD

During one of my rants about how ugly I think Michael Phelch is, someone asked me who I thought was a good looking Olympian. And I found one (pity, I had to look so hard).

Alex Despatie, from Canda, was one of the only non-Chinese person to medal in diving. So there. Here are some pictures of Alex:



And although I couldn't get any names (or images), the Field Hockey Team from the Netherlands had some hotties on it.

AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE?

The second season of Top Design (the interior design contest program) is almost upon us, and Bravo is ramping up the marketing campaign with their usual diarrhea-style explosion of hyperbole: "From the producers who changed the runway and the kitchen... forever," and the like.

And as much as I love Project Runway, if I were Bravo, I wouldn't be bragging about the impact of a show I just lost in a bidding war with another network. (And the rival network is Lifetime, for crying out loud!) But I guess when your other new programs are Date My Ex and Tabatha's Salon Take Over, it's best to focus on the positive. And to be honest, Top Design is just so-so, as far as programming goes.

But what really annoys me when I see those Top Design commercials is the way Bravo just drops the new host in our laps. They toss out India Hicks' name at the end of the promo like I'm supposed to know who she is, without any other type of introduction. They did the same thing with Susie Essman, back when she hosted the short-lived Better Half, and I have to say, in addition to not knowing who Essman was, I was underwhelmed with her. I'm guessing her appeal is limited to Manhattan.
I have to say I consider myself pretty "with it" when it comes to pop culture and celebrities in general, but I had to check out India Hicks' Wiki-page (here) to get the skinny on the new host. It turns out she was a model back in the 80s. As for her design qualifications? Her father was a designer in the 1960s. (Last season's host, designer Todd Oldham, and he's back in a reduced capacity.) But for some unknown reason, Bravo felt the need to add India to the line-up.

And I'm sure the world will never be the same again...

WHAT'S THE NEW WHAT???

Last week, I stumbled on to an NPR/Youth Radio feature, What's The New What? It's a short, to the point radio segment about cultural phenomenon, from a younger point of view. The whole show is based on the idea that new cultural trends are always emerging, and always replacing the trend or icon preceding them. The topics vary widely, and the quality of the segment depends largely on the topic and the Youth Radio presenter. But even the worst ones were interesting, which is saying a great deal.

Previous topics include:
Psychics Are the New Psychologists (I've known this for a while)
Gas Prices Are the New Curfew (not the most well-thought out, but a clever starting point)
Sex Without Condoms Is the New Engagement Ring (oh, silly straight people!)
Stun Guns Are the New Pepper Spray (well organized, if a little random)
America's Best Dance Crew Is the New American Idol (well, duh!)

You can visit the WTNW? Site here or here.

R.I.P. BERNIE & ISAAC

Several news reports announced the deaths of two major, African American entertainers this weekend: Comedian Bernie Mac and musician Isaac Hayes both passed away this weekend.

They will both be missed.

AND NOW BACK TO OUR LIVE BADMINTON COVERAGE

I'll admit to watching NBC's Olympic coverage. Several hours, in fact. And as much as I enjoyed watching the US Men's Gymnastic team, I couldn't help shake the feeling that NBC was wasting a golden opportunity. They broke into prime-time programming on NBC, MSNBC, CNBC and USA for things like:

• boxing between 'Stans" (you know, Uzbekistan, etc.)
• the fifth of six hours of cycling
• badminton

While saving things like soccer and beach volleyball for the "off" hours.

But I'll still watch it.

DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR LIFE, GEORGE LUCAS

Don't get me wrong: like most little boys in the 1970s, Star Wars changed my life (or at least the toys I played with). But Episodes I - III blew royal monkey chunks, so George Lucas and Co. should have just called it quits there. They have plenty of other things to worry about: special FX, and other nerd-tech stuff. I mean, there's no need to drag around your one, sorry success. (This is a man who could have created anything he wanted in the cinematic world, and he gave us Jar-Jar Binks?)

But no, they had to come out with another crappy (now, animated) film. And a whole line of Legos. Oh, and Lunchables. Yes, there are now Clone War Lunchables.

And the wholesale dismantling and selling of my childhood memories continues. I mean, how much better were the stories you dreamed up in your bedroom, with your action figures? Why fill in all the blanks? Why not let childhood imagination do some of the work?

CLASSIC AUGUST SPAM

Here are some real-life email subjects found in my Yahoo! box:

Best swingers party yet!
Well, I wasn't going to open this one, but the exclamation point at the end made me think, 'Hey, maybe this is the best swingers party yet!'

Be strong all night – arrest skier
Well, I'm not sure what arresting a skier has to do with staying strong all night, but then again, I've never been much of a skier (and I've never been arrested, either).

View pics of local, black singles
Hey, buster... I live in the 'burbs... there aren't any local black singles! Although there is a really nice African American couple across the street, and my good friend Dionne and her family live a couple of blocks over... but no, no local singles. Sorry.

His 14 inches pleasured us both
Oh my gawd, 14 inches? Pleasured you both? Well, if it took 14 inches, you both must be really loose... I'm talking super-freaky stretched out... like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

Someone has a crush on you!
Doubt it.

Present only perfect nights to your woman – Greece silent
That one doesn't make any sense, so I just had to throw it in.

Warning: only read if you want to be a millionaire!
Again with the exclamations! Well, I'm going to skip this email, because I've decided I want to be a billionaire!

Jennifer Lopez and Halle Berry crazy on high heels! High Definition!
Why is every email shouting at me? And what are high-definition high heels? (And where can I get some?)

My robot will make you money while you sleep!
Oh yeah? Well my robot will eat up all your licorice and fart on your pillow while you're out running errands!

THIS IS ALMOST TOO EASY

OK, I GET IT... YOU KISSED A GIRL

There's been a ton of press over Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl single. Recently, NPR and Youth Radio compiled a report of teenage reactions to the song and its cultural implications. Aside from all the, "ums," and the heavy use of, "like," it was actually an interesting report. (The song/phenomenon has its own Wikipedia page, here.) Overall, the participants in the report had positive things to say about the song, and were very forward-thinking, when it came to issues of gender and sexuality.

But I also remember another song, with a similar title (and, obviously, similar subject matter) a few years ago. A quick Wikipedia search turns up Jill Sobule (Wiki here) who had a moderate hit with her 1995 single, Kissed A Girl. Both tracks take the same approach to subject matter: girl kisses girl, fun is had (all around) and the world, somehow, manages to keep spinning.

So what gives? Why is Katy Perry's track such a huge hit? Is the American public simply more lezbo-friendly, all these years later? Perhaps.

But I think it has less to do with a decline in homophobia, and the kickin' break-beat/rock beats Perry employs. It also doesn't help that straight men have a fascination with lipstick lesbianism... and Perry isn't helping matters by publicly saying she wants to make out with (underage jail-bait) Miley Cyrus. But no matter what sick, sick fantasies straight men dream up, it doesn't take away from this track's edge and impact. You go, Katy.

CRUSH OF THE MONTH: Ian Roberts

As the Olympics are almost on us, I was hoping to find a crush for July/August from the parade of international athletes, but alas... it turns out the bodies are better than than faces (or personalities). So, I've decided to post rugby god Ian Roberts.

He's big, beefy and yummy from head to toe.

For more pictures of Ian Roberts, click here.