HAPPY THANKSGIVING, Y'ALL

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MAYBE I WAS ON TO SOMETHING

It isn't a secret that I'm unhappy with Apple Computers at the moment... their recent decision to force all Tiger users to upgrade to Safari 3 was a poor business decision, and a PR stumble.

But, since I was forced, I decided to make the best of a bad situation. I went on the Apple's "support" pages, looking for help from other Mac users. While browsing the pages - and by, "browsing," I mean scouring them for 6 or 7 hours - I noticed that certain "users" were in every forum.

I also noticed that they started each posting in the same manner: "Howdy (user name), and welcome to the forums." They never had anything bad to say about Apple, or its products, and they spent a great deal of energy contradicting those who do. They would claim other people were, "the minority," or say that they weren't having the problems everyone else was.

I thought this last bit would marginalize the person with the problem, and rather dismissive of the postings... so, I "accused" a "user" of being an employee of Apple, Inc. And what do you know, that comment was "edited by (the) host."

So it's come to this? Apple is squashing all forms of dissent and disagreement via stealth activity and dictatorship? I've been a Mac user since the 80s (yes, really), and I never thought I would have anything bad to say about Apple, or its products... but, here we are.

HEY, MISTER DJ

One of my favorite music software companies, Native Instruments, launched a new product this week... BeatportSync, an MP3-based DJ mixing program. The program allows drag and drop, auto beat-match syncing and web-loading... bottom line? Now anyone can be a DJ. (That may or may not be a good thing.)

The best news about this product? Native instruments is offering it for free. For more information, click here.

CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET...

According to the New York Times (article here), the release of the original first two seasons of PBS's landmark series, Sesame Street on DVD is issued with a warning to parents - the show is not suitable for toddlers.

I had to read the headline a second time, out of disbelief. What? I thought. The show designed for preschool kids, the show I grew up on, not suitable for toddlers? Why the hell not?

The cynical New York paper listed many snarky reasons why the show might not fly with youth of today. New York and cynical are redundant, I realize but this article turned jaded sarcasm into a new art form... suggesting the new, squeaky clean world of "Prozac Elmo" was a different world from the original show.

But the article also (thankfully) interviewed producers from the show, who gave more reasonable (but not that reasonable) examples. In one scene, Cookie Monster smokes, the eats a pipe. The producers were afraid they were promoting smoking. A little paranoid, but not the kind of paranoia that leads to unreasonable artistic censorship.

And finally, we move into over-protective parent land: objections to Cookie Monster's cookie-only diet, Oscar the Grouch is too grouchy and the matter of Big Bird hallucinations. Yes, that's what I said: hallucinations. Prior to 1985, Big Bird was the only one on Sesame Street able to see Snuffalupagus, but that was later changed.

I admire the PBS producers attempt to protect children, but wonder if we've crossed into dangerous territory. The issues under debate here are questionable: there are far more important issues impacting our children today. But easy fights like this allow lazy parenting - the responsiblity transfers from parents to the media, yet the decline continues.

I haven't seen those old 1970s episodes since I was in diapers, so I can't really pass judgment. But I will say this strikes me as the first step down a slippery slope.

400th POST

Thanks to the small, handful of people faithfully reading my blog. Here's a little photo collage to celebrate post number 400!

THANKS, BUT NO THANKS

If you own an Apple computer, then you know how easy they make it to keep your security and software up to date. A simple one-click process allows you to assure you're using the most recent, safest software.

It isn't uncommon for Apple to release updates: security, iTunes, Quicktime and other Apple packets are available for download regularly. (Around the release of a new iPod, or the newer iPhones, new versions of iTunes are a weekly event.) So you think, as a life-long Apple customer, I wouldn't have any complaints.

But I do.

In the most recent update, which was labeled as an OS (operating system) update, there was a Trojan horse of sorts. Now, don't get me wrong... there wasn't a virus, but rather a software update (they call it an upgrade but we'll see about that). I call it a Trojan horse because it was buried in the OS download: you have to go to Apple's site, click on "downloads" and search for the exact download title - it shouldn't be this hard to find out what I'm downloading to my computer.

And without asking me if I wanted to migrate from Safari 2 to Version 3, they loaded the newer application for me. Now don't get me wrong... I like Safari. I wish more sites supported it, especially Blogger (bastards). But when Version 3 was released (as a Beta release), I researched the differences, and decided I didn't want to upgrade.

I'm guessing the Beta release of Safari 3 was a dud (based on media reaction, and other Mac users I know), so Apple hoisted - no make that, forced - the release on its faithful users. I'm sure I'll get used to the new bells and whistles at some point. I'm just dispointed with Apple - the Mac platform has always been about personal, unique expression; the computer for the people who don't want a beige box as their personal computer. And now, they're behaving like a big-box tech giant we know and hate (no names, Microsoft).

This definitely affects my willingness to upgrade to Leopard - I don't think I'll upgrade until I absolutely have to.

A SHOW TO DIE FOR

I recently viewed the first four episodes of Showtime's Dexter, the show about a serial killer working as a forensics specialist in Miami. At first glance, this might seem like another attempt to tap into the American fascination with crime-scene dramas... there are so many (and too few are done well).

But the truth about Dexter is far more complex than a simple synopsis paragraph on the Netflix envelope. While not as groundbreaking as HBO's OZ, or as critically acclaimed as The Sopranos (a show I don't really like, or get), Dexter manages to bring a fresh, entertaining take on the world of crime, human instinct and depravity. Brilliantly brought to life by Michael C. Hall (IMDB here), Dexter is a complex, and yet somehow, still sympathetic main character. Despite the obvious character flaws (he kidnaps and then butchers his victims), Dexter manages to be easy to root for.

Michael C. Hall deftly brings layers and dimensions to the character making the ups and downs of the grisly (and sometimes sweet) storyline all that more believable. The supporting cast is outstanding, although not creatively cast - the cast of Dexteri is essentially the cast of HBO's OZ, reassembled. Hall devours every emotional morsel the script and situation call for, and is a little too believable as the serial killer next door. (And he looks great, finally free of the button-down, repressed look he sported on Six Feet Under.) I believe it says something about Hall's abilities and prowess as an actor, seeing the daring, deep roles he tackles.

The show features a voice-over narrative, which I'm not a big fan of - but it isn't the kind that makes the show unwatchable, like many episodes of Sex & The City. The show skillfully goes behind the masks we all wear in our day to day lives, and beneath the cool, calm exteriors protecting us and offering us the appearance of civility. I also feel the need to applaud the tasteful manner in which the guts and gore appear in the show. In the world of movies like Hostel and the Saw franchise, it would be easy (an unimaginative) to simply present a feast of blood and destruction. Instead, Dexter delicately and tastefully frames the violence and gore in a realistic, but never dry manner.

PROJECT JACK

If you missed this week's premiere of Project Runway, Season Four... first of all, what's wrong with you? Secondly, you missed out on TV's newest, hottest hunk, Jack Mackenroth. This 38 year old New Yorker has the looks, the bod (did you see him in his undies? those abs?), the smile and most of all, the talent. You can watch his first Bravo interview video here. But a simple scan of the net turned up some pretty interesting factoids about this hot hunk...

*he's a competitive swimmer (in the gay games - he was reported to be a late bloomer, and late to athleticism)

*he's allergic to bananas, avocado and latex (although I've heard a number of gay men claim to be allergic to laytex)

*his sister say Jack used to steal her Barbie dolls when they were younger (no shocker in that confession)

*his MySpace profile lists supermodel Janice Dickinson as one of his role models... but he later claims he was only joking when he said that (the rest of the season will determine just how much of a joke that was)

*he loves 80s music and style (no big surprise here, considering his age)


I'm looking forward to the rest of the season... and not just on the off chance they'll show Jack in his chonnies again. I never thought there would be any part of Project Runway I like more than Tim Gunn, but then along cam Jack.

REALLY, PEOPLE MAGAZINE?

Were there no other men left on the planet? (Obviously not, as I'm able to write this.) What is wrong with you, people over at People Magazine? What kind of crack are you on? Matt Damon as the sexiest man alive?

What about Raoul Bova? I know he hasn't made a decent movie since Under The Tuscan Sun, but Matt Damon? I've heard, on E! and several other TV reports, that George Clooney and Brad Pitt were campaigning for Damon to win, since 2001 - this is beginning to feel like a joke, more than an actual honor, or exploration of sexy men.

I haven't seen the entire list, but I'm wondering if model Rusty Joiner, or rapper/MC Common made the cut... oh, just Google them, I don't have the patience to put up images of either of them... I'm too pissed off about skinny, semi-talented, plain as toast Matt Damon winning.

Really? No, really? Was that the best you could come up with? I know the list is supposed to feature a "regular guys" section, where readers nominate their neighbors, brothers, etc., but I think Damon belongs on a list of regular looking (as in average) guys, not on the cover.

This list drops only a few days after Maxim posted their list of the five least sexy women (topped by Sarah Jessica Parker), and I've decided, with Damon's ascent to the People throne, our country has officially lost its collective marbles.

WELL, WHY NOT?

I'm not sure which is funnier: the fact that this ad says, "protects your manhole," or the part about, "unwanted access."

DAISY SOUP?

I was very happy to see ABC decided to start posting new episodes of Pushing Daisies on its web site - especially since I mis-programmed the VCR last night.

But what brought an even bigger smile to my face was the appearance of episode guest star, and The Soup host Joel McHale. This episode, like many others, was sock-boffo, from start to finish, and if you've missed any previous episodes, all but one are available on ABC's web site.

TAKE THAT, AMERICAN EXPRESS!

I can't stand those stupid American Express commercials where celebs tell us how great it is being them, and how they use American Express. And the Beyonce version is no exception. Why would anyone pay to have a credit card that isn't accepted everywhere?

Visa, anyone? I'd use my MasterCard before signing up for an American Express card again. Have you seen their fun holiday sweepstakes game over at Priceless.com? Way better than Martin Scorsese, or the like, telling me how great AmEx is, when I know it blows chunks.

Which is why I laughed so hard when I saw this Soup parody/mash-up. It is more of a jab at Beyonce, but for me, any insult directed at American Express is worth it.

MORE "DAMAGES" TO COME

The Los Angeles Times' Calendar section reports a major victory for fans of quality TV. Amid the TV wasteland serving up garbage like Hanna Montana and Gray's Anatomy (yes, I said it!), we have great shows like FX Netowrk's Damages. Although not a ratings bonanza, the show had a loyal following, and some of the best critical reviews of the year.

All too often, the TV networks decide the fate of shows based on consumer index guides and ratings. And although Damages had a solid, desirable market in its audience, its fate was in question at the end of the recent, first season.

But things are looking up now, as FX has ordered another season with Glen Close, and the supporting players, and even committed to a third season. Production will be delayed, due to the current writers' strike, but it is good to know that sometimes, the good shows do survive.

JUST SAY NO TO AQUA DOTS!

If you listen closely, you'll here Thousand Oaks mentioned several times... not sure why. But a funny clip, nonetheless.

MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD

If you caught last week's episode of Ugly Betty - called, "A Posh Wedding" - then you saw the amazing rendition of Kelis' "Milkshake," a la pipe organ... one of the funniest moments on network television ever. (Sadly enough, last week Kelis was dropped from her label, as her follow-up to "Milkshake" failed to sell.)

WELL, HAVE YOU?

SYMPATHY FOR THE STRIKE

Let me start by saying, as a union-man, I fully support the WGA in its fight for decent living wages, health care and protection of intellectual rights. The current strike is an important one. The producers and studios are crying foul, claiming financial hardship, and a lack of a, "proper profit model," for paying writers for DVDs and web content... yet the movie studios and the deals the dole out to the producers continues to rise, by the hundreds of millions. The writers deserve a bigger slice of the pie, and it is that simple.

Having said that, let me also say the writers have it pretty good, for the most part. Yes, there are individuals who are genuinely struggling to make ends meet as working writers. But any industry has these cases, and the writers should not view themselves as in any way exempt from the natural order of economics.

But if they're going to make their case, they need to do a much better job. (I mean, they're writers, right?) One example of the train going off the tracks was in today's LA Times. In an attempt to put a human face on the strike, they're telling individual stories of writers, and how they're being affected by the work shutdown. One writer, currently on some horrible Fox show, used to be a writer for The Daily Show in New York. But he had to move to Los Angeles because he couldn't make ends meet on his old salary... of $100,000 a year.

Granted, New York can be expensive, but come mon. That has to be a better example the writers could've offered up; something the rest of the public could have identified enough. Making matters worse, the writer interviewed, said he wanted to dispel the myth that all TV writers made $200,000 a year. So I guess we're supposed to feel sorry for him, as he only made half that amount.

WAR OF THE WEB: NBC vs ABC

I watch a couple of shows online, for various reasons. I'm not always home when TV shows I like are on, and I don't have TiVo, and I'm not a fan of grainy VHS tapes. So I watch 30 Rock, Kid Nation, Pushing Daisies and other shows on their respective networks' web sites.

I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the strike, but neither ABC, nor NBC posted new versions of these shows. (CBS did, oddly enough.) NBC had technical problems (see my post here), in addition to not updating the content.

So, like any lazy web monkey, I emailed both networks, via their tech support and, "contact us," options.

NBC never responded to my email - not even a lame, form-letter response. But this morning, the technical problem was fixed. I'm not sure if my email had anything to do with it, but I was happy to see the problem fixed.

ABC, on the other hand, sent two email responses within 24 hours. Granted, they were auto-responses, and my question about content was TOTALLY ignored, but points for actually responding.

In the final balance of the equation, I would have to give the edge to ABC. They have better customer service, a better selection of shows (updated or not) and they have the best media player on their web site. The ABC Player is clear, has great audio, can be made full-screen size without compromising quality and has a reasonable ratio of content to commercials.

"KID NATION" IS A DRAG

I don't have any screencaptures to show you (thanks to CBS's lousy Flash player, which crashed when I tried to pause and rewind), but this week, on Kid Nation, the kids of Bonanza City held a talent show. And what did the older boys bust out as their, "talent?"

Drag. Yes, the boys donned dresses and wigs and did an oddly accurate Mae West bit. Brokeback Kid Nation? Not quite. But it was a sight to see.

TIEMPO PARA PEANUT BUTTER Y JELLY

This is one of my favorite non-sequiter moments from Family Guy, but for some reason I could only find it in Spanish... which makes it even funnier.

END OF "THE REAL WORLD"

Could MTV's longtime, groundbreaking reality show The Real World be on its last legs? Sources (via the web) report the producers' contract expires with MTV after the current, Sydney season, and the future of the franchise seems to be up in the air.

But what really grabbed my attention was a promo for next week's episode. It said something like, "Will another housemate be going home?" Going home?, I thought to myself. A second housemate? What is wrong with these people? They're dropping like flies.

Could it be that the trademark partying ways of the casts, year after year, have finally caught up with the concept? Does the damage from the drama (and pseudo-drama) outweigh the joy? I couldn't say for sure... I don't watch the show. But if the promo isn't just a tease, and a second housemate is indeed calling in quits from the Sydney cast, then there is something wrong the equation.

REALLY, BLAKE? REALLY?!?

Here's a sneak peek at American Idol runner-up Blake Lewis' solo album cover. It's pretty gay (as in, lame), but kind of has a Star Trek vibe to it, no? I'm sure it couldn't sound worse than it looks... right?

NOVEMBER TUNES

Well, this fall has been rather slow (and quiet) as far as quality music goes... but I've managed find a small handful of musical gems this month. Here they are, in no particular order:

Wicked Game by Giant Drag - the theme from the newest season of nip/tuck, a cover of the Chris Isaak song, and a decent one at that. This one grew on me with time, and is (unfortunately) only available through iTunes at the moment (total drag, considering they have those stiff DRM guidelines).

Stop Me by Mark Ronson - this cover of the Smiths tune is actually pretty rockin' - leave it to the uber producer behind such hit albums as Amy Winehouse's and Lilly Allen's smash albums - I don't know how long I'll be loving this song, but for now it gets my toes tappin'. Ronson, while gifted to a certain extent, proves on this album that he may just be a one-trick pony. But what can you say about a pony when they do a trick this spectacular (and chart-topping)?

Let It Be from the Soundtrack to Across The Universe - It is pretty easy to screw up a Beatles cover, but it can also be equally easy to nail it. In this case, they've gone an extracted the original elements (the church-like gospel organs, etc.) that make the song great, and amped them up... a lot. There are those who view this as a "new" take on the song (and you know who you ams, J. Michael Haas), but it isn't new... just updated.

Break the Ice by Britney Spears - pundits be dammed, this album actually serves up some great pop/dance tracks. I'm especially fascinated by the sloppy, but sexy vocal filters on tracks like Get Naked. Break The Ice, while an enjoyable dance song, will not chart, as the American audience doesn't usually take to happy dance music in the dark, fall times. It is a shame that Billboard and Sound Scan chose to change the rules about album sales charts this week. It used to be that albums only available through limited venues (i.e., the Eagles selling their new album only through Wal Mart) wouldn't be counted. But this week, just when Britney is poised to sit atop the charts, they change the rules, and blam! The Eagles are number one. Me thinks someone over at Billboard is a tad pro-Eagles, or heavily anti-Spears

Something In Red by Lorrie Morgan - well, it is such a slow music month, I though I'd reach way down, and way back for a song I heard when I was in college, that (sort of) changed my mind about country music. As you might guess, I'm not a big country music fan, but this song is simple, sweet and a perfect example of what a great, storytelling country song can be... just don't tell anyone I said I liked it.

IN PRAISE OF nip/tuck

If you haven't caught one of the two new episodes for season five of nip/tuck, you're missing out. I feared the show's relocation to Los Angeles would mean a descent into horrible, dumb stereotypes about my hometown, but this season is shaping up to be the best one yet (so far). With most of the boring side characters out of the way, the story focuses on the doctors and their practice... and yields some of the most fascinating, entertaining and funny storylines yet.

Also, if you head over to the new web site they set up (here), you can send a really funny, personalized message from Troy/McNamara to anyone you want, for free. And unlike other web-call promos from other shows, this one is smooth, and sounds like a realistic phone call - no muttered, digitalized stuttering mispronunciations here, only the best.

Can't wait to see where the rest of the season goes.

OH YEAH...

One more beef I have with NBC/Universal right now has to do with their web site and tech support. I went to watch episodes of 30 Rock (I watch them online because they're on at a bad time, and I don't have TiVo), and it said I needed Flash 9 or higher... which I already installed. So I uninstalled it, downloaded the most recent version, and still... nothing. No 30 Rock for me.

So I emailed tech support (over 24 hours ago), and I've yet to hear anything, or see any fix to the site.

GREEN IS...

This week, GE's entertainment arm, NBC/Universal launched a campaign to raise environmental awareness called, "Green Is Universal." (You can check out the lackluster site here.) The many networks of NBC/U, including MSNBC, NBC, SciFi and USA are all supposed to do their part to raise awareness of the global crisis.

On some levels, this campaign is working. Simple gestures like broadcasting the networks' logos in green draws attention to their campaign. The actual campaign, once you're focused on it... well, it's sorta lame. The "green" version of coverage on the various networks meets with mixed results as well:

*During the broadcast of Heroes they showed footage of the cast planting trees in NYC, but the cast looked bored (at best) and uninterested (at worst)
*MSNBC and CNBC tried to put green spins on the their stories, with little success; we're all aware of the legislation that congress isn't passing, guys... but thanks for the reminder
*The Today Show planned "global" reports from "all corners of the globe" - OK, I'll overlook the fact that globes don't have corners, and point out that reporting from the north and south poles isn't a global report

Overall, I would applaud their efforts... if they were actually accomplishing anything other than drawing attention away from the polluting GE is responsible for. (For an anti-GE pollution site, click here.) But, in their defense, they're doing more than Fox, ABC (Disney) or any others.

SAVE THE PLOT, SAVE THE SHOW

Is anyone else getting really bored with NBC's Heroes? Oh, wait, there were articles in EW, The Los Angeles Times and several other blogs and publications. So what's my specific beef with this tied show? Let's face facts: no one tunes into the show for the acting - the actors, maybe. So why did show creators give the beautiful, but only mildly talented cast so many emotional, drawn-out monologues? And will Nicki ever do a scene where she doesn't cry?

But most of all, I'm losing (quickly) losing interest because this season's plot is starting to mirror last year's... exactly: there's a world-wide threat (save the world), which the cast must go back-and-forth through time to figure out how Claire (the cheerleader) is the salvation of mankind, from a nebulous threat. Sound familiar? It should... it is the plot of last season, only wrapped up in a new shell.

I'll give the show another week or so, and then...

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, CELINE

This is a photo of Celine Dion, from her "new look and album," from Newsweek. But she's not fooling me - she still sings like a drowning rabbit. (Think I'm lying? Check out clips on YouTube here, here or here.) Her glottal stops and diphthongs would make even the most inexperienced voice student stop dead in their tracks, and her over the top vocal acrobatics only serve to further expose her shortcomings.

NOVEMBER SPAM

Here are some messages trapped by my Yahoo! mail spam filter:

How BIG can I get?
That depends... how much money do you have to spend on groceries each month?

I learned what females do on a farm. DO NOT leave them there alone!
I'm not even going to comment on this one, except to say there are some truly sick people out there, and they have my email address.

A FREE Burger King Whopper For You
No thanks, I'm more of a Taco Bell guy.

Cute Gay At Home Shows Tiny Cock Porn
OK, not to pile on the stereotypes or anything, but even if you're more of a buns guy, you're not going to pay to see someone with a small unit.

Purgation by cataclysm he compensates
I don't know what this one means, but it made me giggle.

Nude midgets indulging in midget sex message from Noelle Fitzgerald
I don't know who Noelle Fitzgerald is, but apparently she's into little people.

Is that a boy or a girl? I cannot tell. Can you?
If you can't tell, chances are I'm not going to be much help.

Barbra Patterson won’t forget last night
Which is funny, because I forgot who Barbra Patterson is!

Feel Better Now!
I would, if you would stop sending me junk mail!

NEW YORK & GAY PORN?

OK, I'll admit to watching the casting special for the new season of VH1's I Love New York. And yes, thanks to the hilarious coverage of the show on E!'s The Soup, I've managed to keep track of the goings-on on this depraved, and yet, somehow entertaining show.

And yes, I'll admit that once in a while, when I'm bored and flipping around from station to station on the boob tube... I stop on VH1 and watch a little of the antics surrounding this big, fake-t!tty woman of questionable morals and values. I'm fascinated by the outrage (and genuine hurt) she displays when the men on her show treat her like crap - But at the same time, I can only shake my head in disbelief. She claims she wants a hardcore thug who is, "down" for her, yet is surprised when the thugs she's invited into her "home" start beating each other up. And even though her Klingon of a mother (a true Klingon, in attitude and appearance) tries to help her weed out the weirdos, she ignores the help, only to be surprised when a man she picks disrespects her.

But the shocker no one saw coming this season has more to do with off-screen antics than on-screen theatrics. One of the contestants (now off the show), named Unsure by New York, isn't everything he appears to be. Now, to be fair, New York named him unsure because she got the feeling he wasn't sure about his own sexuality. And, as it turns out, she may have been right.

The blogosphere is buzzing with news that Unsure has a couple of gay (albeit solo) porn DVDs under his belt. The gay porn site, Fratmen TV features two DVDs and one streaming video of Unsure doing something sure to raise some eyebrows. (His eyebrows, seen in the photos accompanying this post, are so overly plucked, it looks like they're always raised.) I won't go into lurid detail - only because I haven't seen the video(s) in question - but let's just say that Unsure loved his own member more than he obviously loved New York... he did ask to be sent home, after all.

GET IT SQUIRREL

ALL THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE

I'm a die-hard, nerd-alert fan of Battlestar Galactica. I mean, I own most of the last few seasons' episodes. I've been to the fan sites, seen the fan art... I even looked at those pictures of the guy who carved his pumpkin to look like a Cylon.

But I've just about had it with the build-up to Razor, the flashback movie coming out this month. First off, the "screenings" at theaters are only at certain, bizarre locations. (Antelope Valley? That's the best you could do for the entire Los Angeles area? Really?)

But more to the point, I'm not really following the online-only flashbacks. [Note: If you're not into BS the rest of this post probably won't make much sense.]

I mean, if Adama (young, not the current one) came across the Cylon experiments (as seen in these screenshots from Episode 5, or "Webisode" 5), then why is it such a shock to the older Adama when the Cylons evolve? I know, I know... someone sound the nerd-alert.

CINEMA DE MI PADRE

I had the rare opportunity to discuss pop culture, and movies, in particular, with my father the other day. I say, "rare," because he usually doesn't discuss such things.

Being a professor of Poli Sci (Ph.D.), he usually opines and waxes on topics of current events, politics and social justice. As much as I enjoy these other topics, very few things entertain me like watching my dad try to make sense of the utter crap that passes for culture these days.

When the topic rolled around to Jennifer Lopez's career as a movie star/producer, my dad had a little trouble recalling the name, and plots of the last few J.Lo cinematic disasters. (And who can blame him? She's the source of more movie garbage that any single other person.)

His two random grabs at movie titles for La Lopez? Hump It Like Beckham and Fast Times At Puerto Rico High.

The saddest part? I would actually pay to see those two movies, if they were real.

HALLOWEEN DAISIES

Here are some screenshots from the latest, Halloween episode of ABC's would-be hit, Pushing Daisies. Even though the show continues to struggle in the ratings, it topped a poll of which shows should be renewed over at E! online.