MICHAEL BAY CAN SUCK IT

There's a ton of hype surrounding the summer action flick, Transformers. I'm not sure if it lives up to the hype — the papers I read trashed it, for the most part, and it rated a 60% on Rotten Tomatoes. I have no intention of seeing, mostly because Shai Labeouf annoys the @#&% out of me. I'm an ol'skool Transformers fan. I bet that somewhere, buried in some box in my parents' attic, there is a box of toys with a Transformer or two in it. I'm not sure the legacy of this particular toy needs protecting; it was pretty lame to start with. But when you're a little kid, you don't know any better, so you watch crap. No biggie, right?

Well, now that I'm an adult, and I know better, I have a bone to pick with this movie. I am pretty annoyed... no, make that insulted, at the way it is being marketed. The Los Angeles Daily News called it a 2 and a half hour commercial for Burger King an Ford, because the marketing tie-ins are so over the top. But that's not my beef.

No, I'm annoyed at the fact that it is being labeled a, "Michael Bay Film." This isn't a new trend in Hollywood. It dates back to Spike Lee, in his early days. There's been a fight in Hollywood, between producers and writers, over who has the right to put their name above, or before the title of a film. This all started when Spike Lee began branding his films as, "A Spike Lee Joint." Fine. Spike Lee often writes, stars and directs his films, so they're really all about his artistic contributions.

Michael Bay didn't write Transformers. He didn't come up with the concept, and he isn't a very talented director. (His previous efforts include Pearl Harbor, The Rock and Bay Boys I & II. ) No, his movies make money, and that's all.

Now, I know money is king in Hollywood (and pretty much everywhere else, too). But above-title credit for a movie should go to people who make extraordinary contributions to their film, and the film world, in general. Consider Brahm Stoker's Dracula. Or Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Does Michael Bay's Transformers really belong in the same group?