SUMMER SERIES' RETURN (Part 3)

The final part of my series focusing on summer TV concludes with the three shows I'm looking forward to the most. I'll watch every episode of this show, and in some cases, I'll even watch the re-runs. They are (in no particular order):

MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST [Bravo Networks, Third Season] Kathy Griffin is one of my favorite stand-up gals, and the show that follows her daily life quickly became one of my favorite reality TV shows. Kathy is funny, and there's no debating it, but her funniest bits seem to come in her private life.

I've actually had the honor of meeting Ms. Griffin (a long time ago), and she was really sweet. And (wait for it...) funny. She was a participant in a home-version of Match Game for a pal's birthday bash, and she brought the house down every time she opened her mouth.

Kathy had a batch of bum luck, both career wise (when she got dumped from E!s live red carpet team) and personally (a nasty divorce), but it hasn't seem to affected her desire entertain her loyal fans (read: the gays).

Overall show rating: 8

DOCTOR WHO [Sci Fi Channel, BBC] I say, "season debatable" because Doctor Who is a show that has had many, many lives on UK television. I only started watching last year, because it was on after Heroes, but before Battlestar Galactica, on Sci Fi's Friday night line-up... it made for an amazing night of viewing.

I caught up on older episodes this year, and wasn't as impressed with the cast. The title role of The Doctor changes actors from time to time, it seems. I like the newer guy — and he was great in the last Harry Potter film. It also seems like they're switching side-kicks this new season, so I'm a little on the fence about this... but I'll give the show's new season a solid try.

The eye candy is non-existent on this show, but the writing, acting, FX and musical score are all top-notch. And I mean, top-notch... the kind you don't find on American TV shows.

Overall show rating: 7.5 (but could go up, depending on the new sidekick)

RESCUE ME [FX Networks, Third Season] This is, by far, one of the best TV shows of the past decade. In my humble, and only partially-informed opinion, Rescue Me outshines The Sopranos, The Closer and just about all the other dramas on cable right now. The writing is crisp, clean, and only bested by the acting. The LA Times recently handicapped the Emmy race this year, and Rescue Me was among the shows it placed out in front, to take home some statues this year. And I can't think of very many shows that would be as deserving.

It would be easy to make a show about firefighters in New York, and pull on out heart strings after what happened on September 11th, but this show rises above such simple tactics. (They've touched on it, once or twice, but have managed to avoid any cliches.) The show deals with a wide variety of issues, and manages to infuse the many story arcs with humor and pathos... not an easy feat.

As for the man-candy, this show offers up plenty. (Firefighters, 'nuff said!) But the good looking, hard bodied men fade into the background thanks to the phenomenal acting and writing.

Overall show rating: 9

NEW SUMMER SERIES

TRAVELER [ABC Networks] I caught the sneak preview of this show, and was immediately drawn in. Despite the been-there, done-that feel of the show's premise, I actually found the it compelling, and pretty suspense-filled. While it might seem like a cheap tactic, drawing on our national obsession with terrorism, this show deals with the topic in a mature, well-rounded manner.

I've only seen one episode, but this is one show I intend on watching for at least a couple of episodes.

As far as the the eye candy on this show... well, how do I say this... there isn't any. There is one character, who is supposed to be the poor(er), good looking guy with a heart of gold -- his friends in the show are very well-off -- that we're supposed to root for. He's cute enough to pull that off, but not much more.

My prediction: ABC's track record with sustaining the quality of its serial dramas is pretty spotty, so I'm guessing this show will only go one season.

CREATURE COMFORTS [CBS Networks] This show is one of the only new shows I'd label as a must-see... only because I've seen the UK version of this show, and it rocks.

This behind-the-scenes look at life in a zoo (from the point of view of the animals) is from the creative minds behind the Academy Award winning Wallace & Gromit series, which is also really great.

I'm not sure how this show will perform, on CBS's Friday night line-up, but it is nice to know there's a show on TV, each week, that families will be able to watch together. I used to watch The Muppet Show with my family, each and every week, and it remains a cherished memory. I'd like to say this show is as good as The Muppet Show was (and still is, upon viewing so many years later), but it isn't. It's great, in its own right, but nothing (in my mind) will ever top the Muppets, when it comes to family entertainment.

My prediction: fire up your TiVo, this is going to be a popular one!

SUMMER SERIES' RETURN (Part 2)

Here are some more of the programs I'm looking forward to:

KYLE XY [ABC Family, Second Season] This show is poorly written, and barely acted, but my younger sister hooked me into watching this one. Aside from the homosexual subtext (which makes for fun viewing), the basic concept driving the show is pretty fascinating.

I would file this show under brainless summer fun. It isn't all that hard to follow, and the concept is engaging, but doesn't require regular, weekly viewing.

As far as eye candy, there's not much here... unless you're into young, hairless, button-belly-less guys.

Overall show rating: 5

TOP CHEF [Bravo Network, Third Season] This show is from the same producers as Top Design, Shear Genius and Project Runway. And it is in the same echelon, quality-wise. The first season kind of dragged, but once they found a new presenter, and a better judge panel, the show started to rock.

Interestingly enough, the newest addition to the judges' panel is one of the guys from the American version of Queer Eye For the Straight Guy. And the co-host for Shear Genius was from the Danish Queer Eye crew.

This show, like many reality competitions, requires knowledge of the previous shows, but luckily Bravo only has 4 new shows on the air at a time, and it plays them over and over again... so if you miss an episode, don't worry, it will be re-broadcast at some point.

There isn't much guy-candy on this show, but the raw, competitive environment is entertaining enough on its own.

Overall show rating: 6.5

VARIOUS SCI-FI SHOWS: Who Wants To Be A Superhero, Flash Gordon and Eureka [Sci Fi Channel, various times, various seasons] There isn't a single one of these shows that I'm looking forward to watching more than the others... in fact, I don't have any intention of watching more than one or two episodes of each show. The Sci Fi network offers some great programming (like Battlestar Galactica), and some really iffy shows, and ends up as one of the channels I surf to first when I'm bored, and just wanna see what's on.

These shows are heavy on the eye-candy, and fun to watch... OK, I haven't seen Flash Gordon yet, but it's got that cute guy from Smallville, and is on my fave channel, so I'll go out on a limb and call it watchable.

For more info on summer shows, check out the Summer TV Guide over at AOL.

SUMMER SERIES' RETURN (Part 1)

As the regular TV season wraps up, the networks and cable outlets start to roll out the less-than-stellar quality shows. Now, I'm not exactly going to give up watching the boob tube this summer (although I would like to spend a little less time watching, and a little more time in the gym), so here is a short list of some of the shows on my radar:

THE 4400 [USA Networks, Second Season] Poorly written, but adequately acted, this show is high on drama and suspense, and even higher on the cheese-scale. But it manages to remain engaging and entertaining.

And while it falls under the category of serialized TV (think Heroes or Lost) it isn't so complex, or unbelievable so as to require a religious devotion; you can miss an episode (or four) and still know what's going on.

As far as the eye candy, I'd say it's a 6.5 (out of 10), but props go to the casting team for making the cast a easy on the eyes without sacrificing acting quality.

Extra points go to the producers for making a sci-fi thriller without exposing how low-budget the series is by flooding it with cheap-looking special FX.

Overall rating (on a scale of 1 to 10): 7

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE [Fox Network, Third Season] This American Idol sub-product is actually the best of the bunch. (Think American Juniors or other Idol knockoffs.) I was only casually aware of this show for the first two seasons (were there really two seasons?). But that all changed when I saw MTV's Dance Life this past Spring, which featured several runners-up. (That and my cousin has been trying to get me to watch the show with her.)

There's no plot (obviously), and it indulges in obnoxious Idol tactics like 2-hour, twice a week audition episodes, but isn't as compelling as Idol can be. (I say can be because American Idol was a bit of a snore this year.) Where this show is most likely to lose my interest is during the semi-finals, when they're down to a handful of finalists, so they'll start to add as much filler as they can to sell an hour's worth of ads.

As far as the eye candy factor goes, this show ranges from 0 to 10, depending the contestant. (For the most part, these guys are way too young for my tastes.)

Overall show rating: 6

(EVEN MORE) MAY MUSIC

Well, May seems like a big month for sequels (Pirates, Shrek, and others), so I thought I'd tack on just one more music must-have.

Rihanna had an impressive debut last year, and in what seems to be the (new) norm in the industry, she's followed up right away with her next album, Good Girl Gone Bad. I was doubting the quality of such a rushed sophomore album, but the first cut, Umbrella rocked my world.

The track is available via iTunes (and is currently the number one selling single), so check it out before this track becomes played-out.

WHAT, THIS AGAIN???

I'm not one to fall for clever adverts, slick print campaigns or flashy TV ads — I'm able to think for myself, thanks. But the only thing more upsetting (or offensive) than an over-produced advertisement is a really lame one. And I'm talkin' about lame.

Like TNT advertising their show, The Closer as,"the number one cable series of all time." C'mon... of all time? Are we including premium cable, like HBO? Because, if we are, then nothing beats the Sopranos. And if its just referring to basic cable, then what about Battlestar Galactica? Or cooking shows like Emeril? And to make the matter more insulting, they don't reference the claim. Most ads have small print, qualifying their outlandish claims or unbelievable offers.

Most ads on TV, for TV programs, aren't expected to qualify their ridiculous claims. But the most retarded ad I've seen in a while goes to USA Network's The Starter Wife. They're billing it as, "the TV event of the summer," which we all know is a load of crap; a steaming pile of dookie. One look at the ads, and we know it's just Deborah Messing, doing her lame impression of Lucille Ball, which she passed-off as acting for several years on Will & Grace. She's a one-trick pony that needs to be put down.

Don't get me wrong, I met her a number of years ago (at the gym), and she's a sweetheart. I'm just saying... the TV event of the summer? In that case, it's going to be a long, summer.

FOUND: ONE SENSE OF HUMOR

My last post (about the lawsuit over Angus burgers) has been well-received in the blogosphere... OK, not really, but when I was looking for art for the post, I couldn't find any. So I went to a site where the Jack In the Box (JITB) was posted, and took a screen shot. [Aside to Julie, and other new Mac users: a screen shot, or picture of your screen can be taken by pressing the Apple, shift and #3 keys all at once.]

While I feel like the art I provided for my JITB post was perfect, I did some more image searching (via Google, my personal favorite) I found several, uh interesting variations on an Angus theme.

I didn't have a whole lot to say today, so I thought I'd just share one of the finds.

Uh, OK. That's it... have a good Tuesday.

OH, GET A SENSE OF HUMOR

Today's LA Times reports that both Carl's Jr. and Hardee's are suing Jack In the Box over their newest TV ad campaign. (For more information, and to watch the ad, click here.) According to the paper, the two chains are upset because the JITB (Jack In the Box) ad implies that the Angus burgers they sell are made from cow anus, playing on the way the words sound alike.

I watched the ad, and I thought (like most, if not all of the ads from JITB) the ad was pretty funny. And if I had to pick a side in this legal fight, I'd have to side with JITB. In many similar legal cases in the past, the judges told the parties involved to get a sense of humor... which I think would be great advice in this case as well. And, I don't really see what the big deal with Angus beef is supposed to be, any way.

Long live Jack In the Box!

SO LONG, ROSIE

I'll admit to watching The View, both before and after the arrival of Rosie O'Donnell. It's been a wild ride since she came on board as moderator. And while I prefer her to the former hostess, she's been a lightning rod for controversy, and occasionally, she brings liberals a bad name.

I'm not going to jump in the middle of the Elisabeth vs Rosie furry, except to say, who spells Elizabeth with an s? She's never been the brightest bulb in the bunch, but sometimes (only sometimes) she holds her own against Rosie — Rosie, is by far, a better orator, and more popular celebrity.

I, for one, will no longer watch The View.

HEY... YOU!

I don't like your girlfriend! I think thatcha need a new one... more lyrics from more music for the month of May. Here are a couple more songs that I didn't put on the previous list, but I still highly recommend:

Girlfriend [Album Version] Avril Lavigne — pop/punk rock, a la Toni Basil... but more fun

Can You Read My Mind [Album Version/Gabriel & Dresden Remix] The Killers — who would have thought these guys would be able to deliver yet another golden pop song?

Like A Boy [Album Version] Ciara — I wasn't all that impressed with her sophomore effort (it came a little too close on the heels of an amazing debut), but this song more than made me a die-hard Ciara fan; this song (and especially the video) hint at her enormous staying power

Hey You [Bonus Track] Madonna — this track is only available as a free download from MSN's Live Earth site, and only for a limited time, which is why I'm adding it to the must-have list; while it isn't Madonna's best tune, it shows a level of pop maturity (if there is such a thing) she's never shown before, while remaining an nice tune

The Remix EP [iTunes Download Only] P!nk — the number one question I get, in regards to my music collection, is where I get my music from; most of my music is from rare-or-promo vinyl, or DJ-only promos, but every so often, you can get the same music from iTunes that I spend weeks tracking down; while not an amazing EP, this group of remixes is worth checking out

MAY MUSIC...

Whatchu know 'bout me, whatcu whatchu know 'bout me? Lyrics from one of my fave new tunes, Lip Gloss by Lil Mama. (This image is from her video.) Here are some other tunes (all, or most are available from iTunes) I think ya'll might like:

The Creeps [Album Version/Freddy Le Grande Mix] Camille Jones — one of the best grooves in a while

Rehab and Back To Black [Album Versions] Amy Winehouse — new school soul from a dirty diva

Relax and Grace Kelly [Album Versions] Mika — a great blend of Freddy Mercury, Moby and nu wave dance

Where You End [Tiga's I Just Need To Be Sampled Mix] Moby — hot grooves, breaks and vocals

With Love [Album Version] Hilary Duff — I'm ashamed to admit it, but I love this little ditty

Box of Sunshine [Album Version] Infidel— dirty pop (the real kind, not the NSYNC kind)

Find A New Way [Dance Life Remix] Young Life — This version is pretty hard to find, unless you've got a copy of the soundtrack to MTV's "Dance Life"

Makes Me Wonder [Album Version] Maroon 5 — Even though they sucked on American Idol last week, I still dig this song

Candyman [Album Version] Christina Aguilera — The diva is back, hotter than ever

WHAT PRICE BEAUTY?

I went to get my hair did yesterday, at my normal WeHo hair spot, and while I was waiting, I noticed something. All the gay guys waiting for cuts were skinny. And I don't just mean skinny, I mean Nicole Richie skinny. I mean scary skinny.

After my fabulous cut (thanks, Ryane), I cruised uh, I mean.... I drove over to the 7-11 by my old Hollywood flat, to grab a Slurpee. Along the way, I noticed even more skinny gay men: bones poking out from beneath (mostly) pale skin — skin that was draped around the body, like a starving man.

What gives? I thought. Not everyone can be on meth. I mean, too many of these guys seem... well, functional. I thought about it some more, and then I did a little online research. It seems as though the trend for men (not just gay men) leans towards ultra skinny bodies. I chose the image for this post as an example of a typical image I found in the gay rags (free magazines) I picked up in West Hollywood and Hollywood. Yes, he's muscular, but he's not a healthy kind of muscular. He's a scary kind of skinny.

When did it become cool to look like this? I remember when having a healthy body was cool... when having curves and mass on your body was considered sexy. Am I that old?

Uh, don't answer that.

WELL, I GUESS I'LL VOTE FOR...

I'm a closet American Idol watcher. I have to admit I don't really care for the show, on principal, but it is just so much fun to watch and bag on. This year's season has been a pretty pathetic competition — I mean, how serious can they be, after musical coaching sessions from Jennifer Lopez and Barry Gibb?

The biggest surprise of the season (as I'm sure everyone on God's green earth already knows), is that Blake Lewis — the boy with no upper lip, a questionable beatbox talents — made it to the finals.

But I'm not any more impressed with Jordan Sparks (she's too young and inexperienced for my taste), so I guess I'll just get behind Blake.

Sorta like the guy in this photo!

MY FAVE DOCTOR ON GAY'S ANATOMY

I've sounded off on the whole Isiah Washington fag incident in the past, but after the NAACP gave him an award, I stopped watching Gay's Anatomy all together. Back when I did watch the show, Izzie (Katherine Heigel) was one of my faves. But now, I really love her.

According the E! news, Heigel is the only cast member of Gay's Anatomy speaking out about the incident, and its fallout. Despite the show creator's strict "no-comment" policy (African Americans in entertainment have to stick together, look out for each other, you know?), Heigel gave an interview to Allure magazine that was critical of Isiah Washington and his behavior at the Golden Globes. (He said the f-word, again, but this time on live, national TV.) Heigel said it "ruined" the night, which by all means, should have been a night of celebration. She said she went, "pale with fury" when she heard him use the f-word.

I have no idea what it means to go pale with fury, but I love that she felt outrage, and love that she felt the need to express. Heigel further expressed that she felt that Washington was, "paying a huge price" for his actions. And I agree. Earlier this spring, Washington announced he would not be submitting his name for Emmy consideration, as he has not curried good favor with the voters. (Read: he knows he pissed off the queens.)

NEW YORK, NEW YORK

I've always been a big fan of New York, but I can't stand people from NYC (living in Los Angeles, or other bigger cities) who think NYC is the center of the universe. And I finally found a great writer who agrees with me...

"New York is not the center of the goddamn universe. I grant you, it's an exciting, vibrant, stimulating, fabulous city, but it is not Mecca. It just smells like it."

—Neil Simon

CHARMED, INDEED

E! recently did a behind the scenes look at the TV show Who's The Boss? Although they didnt say who the boss was, the gave some inside information on Alyssa Milano, and her post-Danza career. (I didn't watch the whole thing, so put the nerd alert on hold.)

She did some minor work (TV movies, soft-core stuff, and some work in Japan) before getting a call from the late Aaron Spelling... he wanted her to guest on Melrose Place, where she labored for a season and a half. He later cast her on a show that would run for 7 seasons, and ended up with her as a producer. (That show is the WB's Charmed -- while not an amazing show, it is enjoyable to watch. Bad dialogue and cheezy special effects aside, it makes for fun, light viewing.)

What's most interesting is that Alyssa was not Spelling's first choice for the role of Phoebe Halliwell. She was asked to join after another actress dropped out of the pilot.

GO MEAT!

OK... LET'S MAKE THIS ABOUT RACE

I recently blogged about George Lopez's race-baiting exit from TV, and much to my surprise... well, I wasn't really surprised. Lopez contends his show was canceled because of race. First of all, Mexican is an ethnicity, not a race.

Secondly, if it was about race, his show deserved to be canceled. Why? Because there are better minority representations to be presented... like Jimmy Smits' new show (this fall) on CBS. He plays a business owner dealing with the ups and downs of family vs business.

Prior to that, he portrayed the first Latino President on network TV. And before that, he played a US Congressman, Police Detective and high-profile lawyer. And that lawyer role appeared on TV when Latinos were nowhere else on the TV landscape.

He played these roles with dignity. With grace, style and pride. We need more actors like him, and fewer selfish, whiny Mexican'ts like George Lopez.

SPAM THAT PUSSY!

It's time for the return of one of my regular features: SPAM email subjects from my email box at Yahoo! Here they are the Top 10 for the months of April and May:

1 Blonde teenie naking shaved pussy and showing it
What, exactly does naking shaved mean? I'm curious, but not curious enough to click on the link

2 Drunk dad makes his daughter spread her legs
Not only gross, but against the law.

3 Large-busted teen honey ditched by studs
Ditched, as in left alone? What's so interesting about that?

4 Hot Indian babe getting pounded by hard cocks
Hmm... Indian, as in from India, or as in Native American?

5 Zippersparks two girls waiting for you
Funny, how you know my "name," but are cluess as to whether or not I like girls

6 Zippersparks best porstars want lick your balls!
Which is funny, because I actually know a few porn stars, and none of them enjoy licking balls... I'm always up for meeting new porn stars, but what does "best" refer to?

7 Zippersparks find and contact local escorts
Where I live? Echh! Have you seen the people in my local area?

8 Required sperm fantasy: best cum shots
I must admit I hate cum (or come) shots, so making them a "required" fantasy? Come on...

9 Zippersparks find girl and fuck her
Again, with the name, and gender mis-information...

10 Zippersparks I want lick you!
Really, are you porn star?

Have some funny spam you wanna share? Send it to me!

YOU SUCK

For the third time this month our cable channels were "realigned" -- causing a disruption of service. I called in, and they said it was a problem with our individual TV. Last time, the channels came back after a few hours, but this time... I've really had it.

And making matters worse, they phone reps. act like the problem doesn't exist, or as if I'm mistaken about what channels we're paying for. Uh, OK.

Now, I know there are more important things in life (and in the world, in general) than TV. But you'd think, as a country, we'd be smart enough to have done away with monopolies like this.

I guess not.

LET'S NOT MAKE THIS ABOUT RACE

Mi gente. Mi raza. I'm so ashamed right now. Not because of the immigration situation. And not because of any crime, piece of legislation or international incident. No, I'm ashamed of my ethnic roots because of a TV show.

Tuesday's LA Times announced the cancellation of ABC's The George Lopez Show. But the article was mostly about how upset George Lopez was. He's claiming this is about race/ethnicity -- but I'll be the first beaner to say that it is't.

George Lopez's show was awful. And I mean sit-up-and-slap-yo-mama bad. It was poorly written and barely acted. The show was unimaginative, lacked any sort of intelligence and lacked a single original thought. We don’t need another crappy show on TV no matter how much it “contributes” to the landscape diversity.

The fact that Lopez played the race-card tells you just how desperate and unimaginative he truly is.

Gracias, adios, George Lopez Show!

ANOTHER REASON TO AVOID MIAMI

Why is it when ever I meet someone from Miami, they're always quick to tell me how great Miami is, but they're never actually living in Miami when I meet them? For some reason, I just don't like Miami, or the people from Miami...and I've never even been there.

I suppose it would be easy to assume I'm just closed minded, but I'm guessing that's not it. (Although I be kind of stubborn sometimes.) And backing up my hunch about just how crappy Miami actually is, for the second year in a row, they were named the city with the most road-rage in the US.

Where did my home-town of LA come in on the list? Fourth! So suck on that East Coast.

WHAT'S THE 911?

If you watch TV, or just surf the web (especially on a pop-up friendly Windows PC), I'm sure you know about Vonage. If not, here's the short version: Vonage is a company that offers VOIP (voice over internet protocol) services, which means you can use your internet connection to make phone calls, instead of stinky-ol' land-lines.
The advantage? You'll save money, blah, blah... and they make a big deal, in the ads about the clarity and quality of the services they offer.

What they don't mention is one tiny glitch: 911 services. The fine-print in the ads simply states: "Vonage 911 does not operate like normal 911," and, "e911 not available in all areas." I won't insult anyone's intelligence by blathering on about the problems this presents. I just wonder how many people either don’t realize what they’re compromising, and if they do, is it worth the savings?

YOU GO, PAULA

Congrats go out to my favorite TV-food guru, Paula Deen. She's gone and picked herself up two daytime Emmys (more than anyone else on the FoodTV Network), and she deserves them.

If you haven't checked out one of her shows, books or restaurants... you're missing out. She's on TV two times a day, three times on Fridays. I don't cook many of her recipes, only a couple of modified dishes (less butter) and I've only skimmed her cookbook, but I've learned a great deal about cooking basics from Paula.

So go'head, y'all, and checker'out!

DISASTER-READY

MSNBC reported that after several natural disasters (tornadoes in Kansas, fires in California), the National Guard has been unable to provide rescue/relief services because of the war in Iraq. We've sent so many troops, and so much equipment overseas, we're unable to take care of our own now.

For example. the Kansas National Guard has 1/3 of its vehicles in Iraq. Making matters worse, current estimates project we will be unable to bring any of the equipment back, due to lack of funds. We'll have to leave it in the hands of "allies" or just destroy it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for pulling out of Iraq. It doesn't make any sense for us to be there in the first place. But I'm starting to wonder if we're in over our head... and just how high the water is rising.

SPINNING AROUND (AND AROUND)

OK, so I've been going to a new gym these past couple of weeks on a guest pass. The pass is about to expire, so the club is calling, asking me if I want to join.

Now, I'll be honest: I don't really care about lifting weights right now. I'm more into SPIN than anything else, and dumbells are the same, no matter where you go... so a gym's SPIN program is usually the make-or-break factor. Usually.

I'm not going to put this gym on blast, but I will say that despite a decent SPIN program, I will not joining any time soon. I'll simply say that if your locker room smells like feet and old Doritos, you should be paying people to put up with it, not the other way around.

[Aside to Julie: Don't be scared, just go take a SPIN class already.]

TELEVISION FOR WOMEN & VAMPIRES

As much as I'm enjoying the return of Heroes, Run's House and new shows like Search For the Next Pussycat Doll, I thought I'd take a moment out to discuss a lesser-known show my sister introduced me to Lifetime's Blood Ties.

Now, I'm not recommending this show. It isn't really all that great... unless you watch it with someone else, like I do. My little sister and I watch a great deal of TV together — sometimes liquored-up, other times, not — and Blood Ties is one of those shows where the bad writing/good looking cast combos is more fun with a partner-in-crime willing to make fun of the show. I won't waste time repeating the jokes (the set-ups would take too long), but instead, I'll just leave you with the premise:

A former detective (off the police force because she's losing her night-vision, or something), opens a supernatural crime-solving business with her vampire boyfriend.

Uh, OK. There's just enough bad acting/man-candy to keep it intereting.

PASS THE DUTCHIE

Another (and the last, at least for a few weeks) quote from the BRI's book of quotes:

"I dunno, I never smoked Astroturf."

Tug McGraw, when asked if he preferred grass or astroturf.

TRUE-DAT

There's a great deal of static over rap music, rap lyrics and cultural sensitivity... blah, blah, blah. But I came across this quote from Ice-T that sums it up, as far as I'm concerned.

"When you're listening to an Ice-T album, you're listening to me in the middle of a park yelling out my attitude, my ideas. But you should never think everything I'm thinking, because then only one of us is thinking."

Word to your mutha.

BADONKA-WHAT?

If you own a TiVo, or other DV-R device, you won't know what I'm talking about, but...

Recently, I've noticed a TV commercial for Subway sandwiches which I find rather offensive. In the spot, a couple pulls up to what looks like a fast food drive-thru and to place an order. They order items such as a "double chin," "blubber" and "thunder thighs," all to drive home the point that burgers and fries are "bad" for you.

Towards the end of the order, the wife (or female companion, whatever) orders a, "badonka-donk butt" -- which assigns negative connotations to big (healthy) butts.

Now, I'm not advocating a life of Big Macs and jumbo fries, but I find this ad culturally insensitive, and borderline (note, I said borderline) racist. This falls under the same umbrella as double-standards like white women who go to tanning salons to get all browned-up, but think that Mexicans are lower-class, just because they have dark skin. I mean, it isn't anything to get up-in-arms over, but...

*sigh*

wouldn't the world be a better place if we just stopped doing shit like this?